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Dr_Bear

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About Dr_Bear

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 07/04/1983

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    M. Male
  • Location
    Eastern Europe
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. For 10 years now, me and my wife have been having FFM threesomes (or FMF, or whatever - me, my wife and another bisexual girl). It was something that came out of her fantasy of having sex with another woman and the fact that she did not want to do it alone. We had a GREAT time doing this. At one point there was even some romantic involvement with another girl and, surprisingly it worked out fine until she decided to pursuit a monogamous love interest. Even if unicorns are hard to find, being quite young and good looking we had no problem in meeting some really nice girls over the years. Even if there was a opportunity to meet more than 3-4 girls/year we had been keeping it like the bonus in our sex life and never abused it. Even if we really like it and we had a girlfriend that was single at the time and wanting us, even then, sex would happened about once a month and a lot of hanging out, going to the movies, pools, etc. We were (and still are) verry good at managing this - sex with another girl only a few times/year ,sometimes even whole years passed and no sex happened, mainly because we had little time or, once i even wanted to see if we are ok without it, and we were. Last year, we decided that fantasies involving other men piled up and we are ready to try a sex club. So we did. and we did. Boy...WE DID. I mean, if tomorrow we will go again, it would be like the 20-th time in 6 months! My wife really enjoys the thrill of having many men (and occasionally women) and has great fun in orgies. Going to a club where we meet strangers and fuck turned out to be a really lazy experience. Meeting a girl involved online convincing, some dates before, some dates after, sleeping over, etc. The sex was great but had its limitations and the work, even if it paid off, quite hard. Going to the sex club...well, it was like a box of chocolates! Never know what you will get! Even if after all it's the same thing (a bunch of people looking to fuck each other), it's not really like that. She had the opportunity to try everything on the menu and, to some extent even some things that were new to her imagination!. For example, last time, we had double vaginal penetration!. Some guy proposed and we said yes...and she has this dumb smile on her face since then Now, the problem. Yes, it's fun. Yes, sex life after a club visit is crazy (we literally end up with sores and blisters and need to take some time off, usually during her period) Yes, it's not boring even if we clearly abuse it. But also..... Yes, when we have sex we only talk about what happened at the club last time.... Yes, when it's Saturday night and we cant go (period, kids at home, a wedding, some other thing) we do think about it like "Damn, hate that we can't go" Yes, it's really lazy and I do feel that we have tons of candy for free while a unicorn was one precious candy for a lot of hard work. Yes, sometimes it's boring and I say to myself - this was the last time for a looong time, until next weekend when I do feel the need to go (and she does too even if she said the same thing a week ago - it was boring, we will not do it for a while). So, I'm asking from experienced people...I do feel we overuse this. I am afraid that we can get addicted and our sex life and fun life will be having a hard time if we give up, even for a short period. Like drug addicts, I feel that we need some special somethin' somethin' to make the party better. Like enhancement is mandatory not optional.... We do like it, we really are good at it (the club owners count on us, especially on slow nights) and they don't even charge us anymore.... So, what do you make of this? I feel that we are on a road that pretty much has no return. Thanks for reading (sorry for the mistakes, english is not my primary language)
  2. Well Herpes is tricky First of all, HSV1 goes to the mouth and HSV2 goes to your genitalia. If someone has HSV1 (almost every female I know ) and it's in an eruption phase you see it, you avoid it. If a guy has HSV2 you can see the blisters on his penis. If a woman as a eruption on HSV2, you can't see much...buuuuttt, it's HSV2 and if you perform oral sex on her, you might not get infected but give it to another woman if you perform oral sex on her after the first one Also, HSV 1 or 2 it's really transmittable when in a eruption phase and someone with a good immunity usually does not get infected. So, to sum up 1) We must assume the good nature of the people we swing with and trust them to stay at home when herpes is around. Most people know and do so. 2) You use a condom neatly wrapped around your penis to the base of it (not just the head!). 3) it's best to limit your oral sex to just one woman at a time. 4) don't go to a swingers club when having a cold, when really tired, hungry, burnt out by stress or physical activity. These are the moments when your immunity is at an all time low and you can catch stuff from people. 5) If really paranoid, a dose of acyclovir before going to the swingers club my give you some extra prevention (not proven by studies tho) All types of herpes, HPV included, have spreads close to 90% in the general population. That sweet librarian you meet on Tinder probably has them both from her last and only boyfriend. I think only secluded tribes in the Amazon don't. My point is that even tho they are around, it's mostly harmless to handle them as a strong, healthy immune system usually deals swiftly with them. My Wife of 10 years had HSV1 from the day I meet her, I never got it. Dude, if we take'em all into account, we will never fuck again . Monogamy with a single, really loyal partner is the only way to go if you don't want STD's and STI's to happen to you. No pain, no gain! Try to follow the general advice above, don't think with your genitalia and things will work out ok, most of the time.
  3. Most STD's are treatable and, usually have symptoms. I think 90% of the people who swing are decent people and once they see they have a problem will go to the doctor, diagnose and treat it. Not go again to the swingers club! 99% of STD's and STI's are one of these : - candidosis (treatable but may stick around for a bit) - usually women have a white/yellow secretion and the smell is close to that of fish. Men may have something that looks like cheese on their penis head. If you see/smell something like this, better not touch that person. - Syphilis - treatable but a true pain in the ass. The good thing about it is that you can not get it if wearing a condom and people who have it usually have symptoms that show. A penis head of a man that has it looks diseased. Just check it on google to see how it looks. - HPV. Not much to do about it. You can get it from a handshake. It's a reasonable weak virus that is usually eradicated by the body in a period of up to 2 years. Any woman but swinger women for sure, need to have a test called "papanicolau test". Doing it will reveal if there are any lesions on the cervix. If the test comes out ok, no worries until next year. If there are some lesions, a visit to the doctor to asses those lesions and see if HPV made them is needed. 99% of lesions heal themselves after the virus is eradicated by the body. - hepatitis B. It's fairly frequent and cannot be "shared" if a condom is used. The biggest concentration of virus is in the sperm. Using a condom prevents this. Oral sex is quite safe also but better avoid sperm in the oral cavity and if you really like swallowing you should check for gum and teeth problems before leaving home. Having a wound somewhere in the mouth can help the virus pass thru sperm into your body. If swallowed, usually, the acid in your stomach will neutralize the virus. - HIV see above. Using a condom is the golden rule. Oral sex should be ok, 99%. All in all, to sum up, it goes like this. Use condom at any given time. No one should avoid them. Briefly inspect the genitals of other people before having oral sex. A man's penis should be evenly coloured all round without blisters,red spots, white stuff on it, no smell. A woman's vagina should not smell fishy, there should be no bruises, sore spots, blisters and no white-yellowish discharge. Have a papanicolau test each year. Swallow sperm and vaginal secretion at your own risk! If you do, check your mouth at home before leaving and don't brush your teeth (microlesions can be formed!). As my name suggests I am a MD and my practice is GP. Have fun!
  4. i think that you kind of miss the point of human monogamous relationships - this is to love, care, help, share and have children. swinging should be a secondary effect of your beautyfull and full relationship, children included. i read in your posts that you are a swinger and you had previous relationships where you enjoyed the swinger lifestyle. I get it that's important to you, but you need to take a step back and think how you view this girl : your partner, your life mate,the mother of your children,your swing partner of just a swing partner. if it's the first, have those kids, raise them, experience all the things a family has to offer and you will see how your girlfriend will return to herself prior having children once the situation relaxes. i have two chidren and we started FFM's in our first year of relationship. We never really stopped and had FFM's during both pregnancies, one even in the 9-th month. women are sexual beings all their life but they need confort to open up. Your girl wants a family with you and if you put the shoulder and provide her with this she will provide tou with a swinger lifestlye. People without children are shit scared because of their life might change and stuff they like might not happend. it's like buying a ugly station wagon because you will have children when in fact, actually having them would not require more than your hatchback people with children manage to do everything they did before they just figure it out togheter : grandparents, baby sitters, friends with children, sleepovers, etc. for example : we do a lot of family stuff togheter when she's on her period. one weekend a month we send the children to their grandparents and we go out to a swingers club or have a lady invited to our place! i think swinging is too important to you. it should be just another thing that you like doing with your wife. we have weekend nights when we both feel great, she is hot, shaved, dressed up, and we just roam the big city streets by night, eat street food and discuss a lot of stuff about everything, instead of going to the swingers club. you should try that too - put a healthy,strong and full of meaning relationship BEFORE swinging good luck!
  5. hey. we did have the same problem but with women. We enjoy having FFM's in the exact manner you preffer MMF's : with friendship, friendship and chemistry. For MMF's we decided a swing club is ok (because of the obbsessed single man syndrome we also fear). the problem with people on swinger sites is that they are extremely sexual. i get that we are all there for something sexual but some need a bit of human touch before getting horny. women on swinger sites, except the fact that most were prostitutes, were behaving like one of the few clients in a really empty shopping mall. if they answered they were asking for dick size, breast size of my GF and so on. this approach was a total turn off for me so i tried something else. something that worked like a charm. first, make a profile on a general dating site (like OK cupid) with pictures of both you and your girlfriend, fill in the profile (quality people do read entire profiles) just leave out the purpose of the profile. search for single men with pictures (those without are probably married) and send them one nice long message. people who do not read long messages are the supperficial men you try to avoid. We found 90% of the girls we had FFM's like this and even if it was hard (reply chance less than 5%) it's worth it! those girls did it because they LIKES US, not the ideea of an FFM. 80% of them had their first threesome with us! Abandon the swinger sites. i guess they work best for couples
  6. Not only able to walk...she was soaking wet and could easily have taken a hard pounding for another 2-3 hours. It's amazing, i know. Had no ideea si has so much stamina. The fact is..she enters this sexual trance where she can go on for hours and hours even to death if not disconnected....She cant have an orgasm (vaginal) so there are no spikes in her sexual flow. She just loves it and takes it for hours and hours, if provided. The problem was the crowding. If it was up to my wife, she would refuse the fireman but he came after the other girl and just did it alongside us.
  7. Hello everyone. I have this issue, but my post will be long because i want you people to understand the whole picture and maybe relate to my experience. Advice would be helpfull. Also english is nor my primary language so bear with me and my mistakes. So, me and my wife of 10 years had been having this awesome open sex life. When we met she was a virgin so i had a blank book to fill and i tried my best. Turned out she was (still is) crazy about sex, i was quite experienced so i delivered a full spectrum of fantasies and sex deviations wich she liked most of them and we had a varied and exciting sex life early on. About 8 years ago shared some fantasies and she expressed the curiosity about being with another woman. I was ok with the ideea, she tried meeting some women online but the tought ouf being alone with her scared a bit so she asked if i could join. Of course i was aroused by the ideea, even if finding a unicorn in a former communist country, deeply religious was a tough challenge. I put my skills up to work and being helped by our good looks, youth and good nature we met this really nice girl who gave us a whole new perspective about sex wich we embraced almost with no remorse or jealousy. Years passed by and we had about 2-3 threesomes/year with different girls. Unicorns were mostly curious or they would just find a guy, they would marry ,etc. I had this collection of first messages i would send depending on the girls profile, we were nice looking in pictures so, even if quite hard, we managed to meet really cute and fun unicorns. So, about two years ago, my wife started entertaining the ideea of having sex with more men. We were using it when we had sex as a boost to our pleasure. I would ask her what she would do if another man was present and so on. It was great until one time we had a fight about some other stuff but her frustration of us not swinging (only having FFM threesomes) came out. I explained to her that i cherrish our relationship, i love her and i would not want to spoil what we have over some fantasy. That FFM's we tried young but i was afraid stuff can happend in a 4'some or a MMF threesome. That with a girl we can both play and she could play with both of us and it felt natural and balanced. We even had a FFM romance where all of us were a bit inlove and it was (still is) the best experience with someone outside of our marriage. She understood my arguments and we let it like that but i understood that she would really like another man and she was really curious about this. I am a quite good looking, good sex partner and successfull guy. I was not afraid those guys could make her head turn around and if they did and she would let them then she might be quite stupid or really not that good when it comes to self-control. I had no problem after i did some serious thinking to make this happend for her - let her fantay come true, have sex with more men, so i proposed a swingers club. The ideea behind this was that it sounded safer.We go there, she unleashes the demons, we come home. Not much flirting, not even names given, just fantasy gangbang sex.Looked ok on paper. So i convinced her to go (she is that kind who needs convincing to do fun stuff and feels guilty having fun instead of doing chores or working) ,and we did. She was scared at first but the people down at the club were really nice and she was by far the hottest girl there so she got relaxed. In our country people swing at home ,4'some ,6'somes, etc. Clubs as small family run businesses that accomodate 5-6 couples and some 3-4 guys, italians mostly. First time we did nothing ,just got accomodated with people, kissed, touched...The scond time we actually had a guy with us, it was a slow night ,he was the only one alone so we took him with us in a room. The guy was really nice and sweet but after 2-3 minutes he finished. Appologized, blamed her for being too hot and left. Even if the experience was quite poor she enjoyed it a lot. She got more confident and liked the fact that the guy was overwhelmed by her looks and sexuality. My wife is the kind of girl who looks 16 at 33, slim, small breasts, childish face, sweet and nice, but you cant really find her sexy if she's outside a swingers club. She is not provocative, on the contrary. She's reserved around men, dresses mostly business-casual and she is imune to flirting and other stuff men outside a swingers club might do to catch her attention. She was a bit afraind of men before me (this explains her virginity at 23) and still was prior going to a swingers club. Going there enhanced her confidence, and i felt her more a woman than a really succesfull career ,having two kinds, doing a lot of hard sutff made her before. i liked this new her, sex life had a tremendous boost (each day/night, 2-3 times/day) so i was eager to do it again. I have to mention that i do have serious anxiety and i hate being sexually involved in a public place around people i dont know. I barely have a hard on and a condom is out of the question. Still, im quite confident becaus i know i can last for hours ,hard as a rock if i have the right balanced eviroment. She also knows this so im ok with not having it hard in a club. I took full responsability about going there for her and her fantasies. I had, to be honest my fair share of FFM's ,wich i still consider to be the nicest, cleanest and drama free way to go when thinking about having more people in the bed. So we did it again. This time there were three guys. Two alone, one couple.It was even better. The guys were nice, she experienced having all three around her, they lasted a bit longer than the first one but all in all, all three combined were faster than i am on a average intercourse. Then this great looking couple approached, and even if i was not sure what to do (having no hard-on) i managed to give that girl an orgasm by oral sex, then she played with my wife while her husband was having sex with her from behind. At home, things got better and better. Going to the club made her evolve as a person 10X faster than i could possibly make it. I was for our entire relationship her guide of getting free of all those adolescent and childhood chains. She got a lot more confidence, her work results boosted also, she switched to a sales position, even her posture was better when she walked. Loved this about her. The third time it was really ,really nice. There were this three italian guys. Gentlemen. One of them was a doctor (as i am) so we had stuff in common. We talked, i clicked with him and when stuff got hot, i even performd with my wife and we had a MMF with him. The other two were also nice and she experienced giving head to both at the same time and a number of other fantasies she had in the drawer. We would talk about it, she would get wet and we would have sex for ours the weeks after this visit to the club. Last saturday, she came up and asked if i wanted to go to the swingers club. It aroused me because until then, i was the one proposing and she was like "oh ,i dont know...". Seeing her taking responsabilty and voicing her desires aroused me ,so we dressed up and left for the club. This time, it all got a bit weird. There were only a decent looking jewish couple there, one really ok guy and some joker guy dressed as a fireman (it was a theme party). There were other couples but in their 40's and 50's and my wife prefferes people around our age. We got to a late start. She was not into anyone, i was just playing around ,talking at the smoking lounge, relaxed. At one point the jewish couple left for one of the rooms with the fireman and the ok'ish guy was in another par of the club with another couple talking so we started kissing and touching all alone in a central part of the club.She was really horny so when the guy from the jewish couple appeared around us (dressed, without his wife) she asked me if i wanted him to join us. We got into a room, we started as usual (her giving a blowjob to both of us, we standing ,her on her knees) when his wife showed up. I wasnt into her...but she was nice and just stood there on the bed watching. Then the fireman showed up as well, following her. Neither of us liked him but we were new to the situation- having intimacy around people we dont like so we let it as it was). Fast forward, my wife got penetrated from behind by the jewish guy and the fireman was doing the same thing with his wife. I was getting head from mine. The fireman and the jewish girl were really loud and i could not concentrate on my errection. My wife was quite pleased about the guy's performance. The Ok'ish guy turned up also in the room asking to join and she invited him also. So far, it was ok. My wife was spitroasted by two guys and me, the fireman and the jewish girl doing their own thing, all in the same bed. Now, the problem. Here i am, two hours into the thing, crammed into this tiny bed. I cant get it up because there are a lot of people around me.The jewish guy is NOT finishing, my wife likes it a lot, not getting bored or dry, or nothing. The Ok'ish guy next to me, finishing the 3'rd time in my wife's mouth (he had no chance to actually be in her, the other guy was literally an android of some sort). The fireman was also into his 2'nd hour of non stop sex, the jewish girl had 10 orgasms ,squirted at some point...i think she even fainted once. It's hot, sticky and boring. I love to see my wife having so much pleasure but i started to wonder what the hell i was doing there? iwanted to take the OK guy with me and go drink something, grab a bite and a smoke and let robocop and robofireman fuck the girls until... At some point the jewish guy stopped and asked the fireman to give his wife to him. Got his condom out and started to have sex with her. The fireman rested for about 2 minutes and started to touch my wife. By that point she let him touch her (until them she seemed annoyed by his presence as well) and even let him penetrate her. He was huge and really stiff. About 3 inches longer than me for sure ,and i'm not small by any standard. he started to have sex with her and this lasted for another hour (yes, he had non-stop sex for 3 hours). In the end he finished and we all got dressed and left the club. Now...the problem is she needs my presence and i have to be there. The 30-40 minutes experiences with guys i liked, sexually enhanced more or less like me, only 3 people at a time in a bed...i liked. It was still mostly for her pleasure buy i could get into the mood and be part of it. This time i felt really disconnected. It was really long and the bad part was that she liked it. a lot. I wanted to leave a few times but there i had the woman i love having a great time, not thinking straight (good for her) and i did not wanted to ruin it for her. Hope i could make myself understood what it felt like. For a full hour at least we were not having fun. She was, i was just looking around for a vetilation shaft in a crowded bed. When we taked about it she felt really bad and said we will never again do it. I know she likes it tho... What should i do? I want to keep friendships and close relationships out of this. She also agrees on this.We both read a lot of stories online about people who got too far from full swap singer 4'somes. Knowing a guy's name, in daylight, flirting, finding common interests, etc seems nice but for us also spells "danger" and we really have a nice life. 3'some FFM we could handle because we were all into it and shared the girl. This time i am sharing her, not even taking part and it just feels wrong, especially when i am totally out of it and just waiting to finish. Should i try to convince her it's ok and do it again? Should i let it alone and focus on our relationship and meeting a new girl from time to time? Some advice would be really nice at this point! Sorry for the long post!
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