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Onlyme89

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  • Content Count

    8
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Community Reputation

19 Good

About Onlyme89

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 04/04/1979

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    UK
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. Stop, stop... Stop!!! This guy is trying his luck and is attempting to manipulate your wife. If it was my wife she would of told him long ago where to go.. He's a liar and probably thinks your wife is in a crap relationship and he can lure her away. Swinging sites are full of these 'white knight' types, we always laugh and block them. As soon as any guy mentions meeting seperatly its an instant block and not just from me, if my wife sees the message before me its her that does the honours. When selecting a single guy our rule is - its not my wife they need to impress... Its me, because I can veto anyone at anytime (same rule applies to her, she can veto anyone from me).
  2. What do you class as soft swap? We class everything apart from penetrative sex as soft swap. So your wife can kiss, have oral, be played with and pretty much anything apart from have full sex? We have never really seen the point, oral sex and kissing etc are far more intimate than having penetrative sex. If you are thinking you cant handle watching her have sex then the chances are you wont be able to handle soft swap either. Why not go to a club and just play with each other infront of others? Afterall you must really be into each other to even consider swinging, there is no rush to touch anyone else. After doing the voyeur thing you may be extremely happy you didnt go any further..
  3. Hi Firstly really sorry to read your story, swinging is only ever going to work in the strongest of relationships. Many people swing as an excuse to have sex with other people but thats not the right way to look at it. Swinging is an extension of your relationship with your partner, its built on sharing everything with each other, emotions, fantasies and ultimately sharing each other by playing with others. To do that you need trust, without the trust it just won't work. I think you should knock swinging on the head for the moment and cincentrate on getting back the trust. Do a few date nights, go out on vanilla nights with each other and have fun. After a few months have a chat about swinging and see how you both feel. If one doesn't want to do it anymore then it should end there, but if you both agree to do it dip your toes in again with socials and soft swings. Chat about it all, have fun in bed chatting about what you've done and make it fun again. If you have forgiven the cheating stop bringing it up, you have to now let it lay. Goodluck
  4. I should of said no but not because I'm the man, we're a team and do everything together and make decisions together, neither of us has the upper hand. Our rules are now simple: 2 meets and then we wont meet again - this keeps it fresh for us. Swinging for us is about the situation and not the other people. Never change rules on a meet Same room, same bed
  5. Hi Thanks for the replies! Firstly, taking one for the team is definitely a bad idea, we have always said we would never do it but in the heat of the moment I didn't want to ruin my wifes fun. We have definitely learnt alot from the experience and have adjusted the way we do meets. We now only meet couples twice and then move on. We find that keeps things all about each other and it really works for us. We had a great meet at weekend and everything went brilliantly, we both had fun and it felt like it did previously. As was mentioned my wife was very understanding about it all and dropped contact with the other couple instantly - i am very lucky to have her On a side note, I think you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned the other wife dissappearing and not joining in. It transpires through friends that she does this often on meets... I think her doing that made me feel duped into a meet. Swinging is about trust and I trust my wife 100%, thanks for the replies
  6. Hi This is the male half of a couple and I thought I would ask this here because you ask vanilla friends this stuff. We have been swinging for 3 years, i am 38 and my wife is 27..we have an amazing relationship and are totally devoted to each other, vanilla friends often comment how they wish they had a relationship like ours. For the first 2 and half years our swinging fun was amazing, neither of us ever had hangups about a meet or felt jelous. However, 6 months ago that all changed for me.. Usually when we meet a new couple we meet through parties, clubs or the web. We always have a social first and then either of us can veto further meets if we are not keen. We have friends who recommended another couple to us and we got chatting via a messaging service which subsequently led to us arranging a play meet at their place. As soon as we arrived I felt slightly uneasy (unusual for me) and I found myself not really liking the guy half of the couple. We stayed with our own partners and chatted for around an hour. As time went on I really wanted to leave because it didn't feel 'right'. It was around this time that nature called and I went to the bathroom.. When I returned my wife was on the other sofa in my place, he was kissing my wife and had his hands up her skirt. The other guys wife (who was stunning) invited me next to her and started to kiss me. Unusually at this point I didn't feel at all aroused or turned on, instead my stomach was knotted and I wanted to get out. I glanced at my wife and they had moved to the rug, she had her dress up, panties removed and they were kissing passionately as they rubbed against each other. Usually this would of turned me so much but I just hated it. I decided to power through and get it over with, I went down on the other guys wife and when i glanced around again he had a condom on and they were at it on the rug.. Giggling and chatting dirty to each other.. Things went on for about 10 mins then the room heated up so we all stopped for a quick drink. I was very relieved and thought this would be a good oppurtunity to swap back.. But unlike usual my stayed with her arm around this guy.. We all chatted and then his wife wanted to change into something a little different to play and she suggested that he and my wife went upstairs and we would follow on. At this point I was confident my wife would say 'sorry no, we dont do seperate room' we have always had a rule that we only play together. But instead she turned to me holding his hand and asked if it was okay. I was put on the spot and didn't like to spoil her night so said 'fine' and off they went.. His wife was gone for 15 mins and it felt like an eternity, all I could here was my wife moaning with pleasure. When she returned we went upstairs to find them hard at it, she was all over him and we walked in just as he was coming deep into his condom. At this point his wife said 'looks like the funs over, smiled and left'. My wife went to grab a shower and we all returned downstairs for a chat. We left about an hour later and my wife raved about the meet and much fun it was.. After a few days I told her I hated it and felt sick at the thought.. She was devastated and deleted the couple from her phone and blocked them on all forms of media. She was really sorry and blamed herself, she thought I was enjoying it to and had she known i wasnt it would have ended instantly. Moving on 6 months we are meeting again but its no longer the same, i find myself feeling jelous even with friends that we have known since we started. For me swinging is all about my wife, the women we meet dont turn me on as she is my focus and I used to love watching her while I was with the other woman. Now I meets are a mixture of, excitement, jelousy and anger for me. It is getting better as time goes by and we have chatted about our boundaries and changed our swinging habits. We no longer play on first meets We have a 2 play rule.. So once we have played with a couple twice we wont meet them again We will never do seperate rooms again And we have a code word so that if one of us wants out we can leave a meet Do you think our swinging life will ever return to where it was or do you think we should stop? We still get the buzz, we are still as solid as ever and we still have alot of fun but I still get these feelings that ruin it all slightlt for me.
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