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Marriedcurious

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  • Content Count

    3
  • Joined

Community Reputation

16 Good

About Marriedcurious

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 01/09/1981

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Married male
  • Location
    Vegas
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. Body image is just one issue. It's actually a big issue. Just between us she has body issues and I never bring anything up regarding that. And I totally do not want to do it if she doesn't. She is very submissive when it comes to what I want. But I don't like it much because I want her input on everything possible.
  2. I agree that we need all 3. Communication has been one of the biggest issues with us. Trust is there other than trauma based concerns and love is certainly there. I was considering baby steps....just going to one as a couple but not to participate just enjoy the atmosphere. Maybe it will help her feel loved and appreciated if others approach. If she feels good about herself she opens up more. Catch 22 with what you are saying. Just a hard egg to crack to get to want to go out as she does have social anxiety issues.
  3. Hi. I'm new and wanted to ask what a good approach would be if even considerable. I have randomly thrown hints at my wife about another woman. Her responses are verbally and generally along the lines of "what I'm not enough for you" I say no you are plenty. I have considered trying to see if she will agree to going to a local swingers place for fun. I tried taking her to a sex store and she felt like she was out of place. I considered the swingers place as a place to just feel free. Even if we don't join in and just watch and enjoy the environment itself as a teaser. A little background. Before I met her she was the fat chick that put out a lot. She was verbally abused and put down by her parents. Never had any real relationship more than a couple of months. I was her first real marriage and first long term relationship. Been together 9 years married 5. Just over two years ago a terrifying act (can't discuss it in detail) shut her down a lot. Our marriage suffered as collateral damage. Both of us became cold and distant from the anxiety and stress and the impact it had on her as a mother. (No it wasn't death of a child ) she became abusive and I even filed for separation which we recinded per her request in promise to get better. Over time we did better. Had some downfalls. Had some issues. Had some good times. A mix of all. At one point I found her on tinder and met up with someone at a store she met on there. No sexy conversations on her phone but worried me about where we stand or what she wanted. She does not respond or participate in therapy well at all. (We did therapy which got us nothing. She does participate in therapy with another family member and acts very similarly ). Since our marriage she lost a lot of weight and has put some of it back on and feels like shit about it. She doesn't like to even take her top off during sex. She got on me a bit about picking her up and putting her on a washer to make out a little. All self concious kind of stuff comments like but I'm heavy doesn't that hurt? Her communication with me on certain things is not great. Things about feelings she is horrible at opening up with me. Or anyone really for that matter. Sex drive has been down for her. Sometimes it comes and goes. I put the tinder thing as a cry for attention. Just positive attention to her as a person. Due to her reactions to me I felt like I didn't want to do things as a husband with her. I have been curious and wanting to do some extra marital fun. Not without her but with her to explore new things. Open up. Lighten up. Meet new people. She should feel attractive. She is attractive. 90 percent of her body image is stomach. She has great legs. She does want her breasts done from kids. Her face and eyes are just an abyss to stare in. When I do stare at her she gets all self concious and asks what I'm staring at. I say my beautiful wife. She goes where? I used to not give up on that but she has been putting me down that way for so long I have shut down a lot myself. While I'm not sure swinging is the way to go it's an option I have been exploring. To fulfill a need for me and possibly help her feel wanted and attractive. Personally I have no issue with her with another woman. With another man the more I think about this idea I read a lot about boundaries and limits and how others respect the same. I want her to feel beauty in herself. I want her to know what I see when other people see her the same way. If our marriage has survived the emotional trauma and stress the last 2 years have dumped on us I feel confident that it won't cause problems of feelings. We gave a child together and she doesn't ever want to see us fail. She has expressed many times that she is afraid of me picking up and leaving (due to my filing stated above) My perspective has changed from jealousy to seeing her feel good about her beauty. Any advice would be great.
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