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Jane1902

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Jane1902 last won the day on November 8 2020

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About Jane1902

  • Rank
    Swingers Board Addict
  • Birthday 05/30/1963

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    S. Female
  • Location
    California
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx

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  1. It’s often said to go at the pace of the slower partner. She said she’s only doing this because you like it. What are your priorities here? Enjoying your kinks or her comfort? It seems she feels pushed into this and that is unfair to not just her but other couples unaware of this that you may meet.
  2. Your therapist expressed safety concerns on the who and how you are finding these random men. She is aware Mike is there with you yet expresses concern. I wonder if it’s not so much as him protecting you but beyond that? I wonder if the risk adds to the obsession/fantasy element? When you are fantasizing about this is there a particular reaction from the stranger that you lean in to? Would role playing it be fun for you?
  3. Feeld has interests that include various forms of swinging/ENM. In my profile and in conversations I confirmed my dealbreakers to include cheating. I make a point of asking. Some people are okay with it, I’m not. I understand sometimes it doesn’t seem so simple but for me to feel good about what I’m doing it’s important.
  4. Be it swinging or going out dancing are you actually trying to understand reluctance and respect their boundaries or pressuring them into doing what you want because you think it will be fun and they should enjoy it too?
  5. People are going to cheat, I'm not going to change that but I will not enable it either. On the table, discussed and verified isn't misleading. Some swingers are okay playing with cheaters, there's threads on this. I struggle with people saying what they think I want to hear to get what they want. Curious how others that don't play with cheats feel about those that do. Does it change your mind about wanting to play with them?
  6. I am ranting. I have tried a different site, Feeld. Chatted with a “single male”. He wanted to be sure I understood the “lifestyle.” Yes. After a fair bit of chatting we decided to meet halfway, a little over a 30 minute drive for me. Brief introductions were exchanged and we started talking lifestyle experiences. I asked if he found it challenging as a single male. Then he said he needed to “clarify” so there wouldn’t be any “expectations.” Yes he is married but his wife is blind and they didn’t talk much about his outside activities but she is aware. I needed to clarify if this meant she would be upset by what he was doing. Yes. That’s cheating in my book and I left. My mistake was not confirming his status. I don't have a problem if the other partner is fine with it and have enjoyed meeting the other half in the past. His actions are not ENM at all. He sent some message how everything isn’t black and white. I doubt the wife is so blind she can’t see what an asshole he is. The excuse itself is offensive. I flagged his profile as fake because it is. Some people are okay with cheaters but I am not, won’t knowingly hurt someone else.
  7. It seems there is either okay with it or not at all. While I do appreciate Aphroditee’s perspective of no emotional connection it’s okay it comes across as long as she’s not emotionally hurt. There are some single men in the lifestyle that are amazing and understand boundaries. Unfortunately plenty of people are not even honest with their own self first and dishonesty is a part of their lifestyle.
  8. I think it would be fun to meet up with them not so much with the goal of playing together but sharing lifestyle experiences. Even if it doesn’t lead to play I’d bet the two of you go home and have a wild time together.
  9. Another after the fact regrets. At what point will people change their behavior?
  10. My first swing partner was a huge Raiders fan, tickets and tattoos.
  11. With him not on board this will likely blow up in your face. You’re comfortable being with another man but not so okay with another woman. It’s a common double standard that works when couples have clearly communicated what will work for their dynamic. Sometimes the fantasy is better than the reality. My advice is to find some way to spice up your sex life with the two of you. The big C in swinging is communication. Also very helpful in everyday life. How would you feel if he tried to plan a threesome with another woman, especially as some kind of surprise?
  12. I don’t think it is a good idea to address the anxiety about a threesome with weed or alcohol. That’s ignoring the concerns and sets someone up to perhaps question their involvement. Once you are fully on board I have no problem with either in moderation to help relax in the moment.
  13. I had serious fun with a salesman in the dressing room while wearing the merchandise.
  14. Reading your post I don’t think you should be swinging. You are not describing an isolated incident, have your own insecurities, she can’t remember what happens. It’s more than the alcohol.
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