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Thenotoriousdud

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  • Content Count

    18
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25 Excellent

About Thenotoriousdud

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 05/09/1979

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Ontario Canada
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. OMG, I swear you sound just like a couple we met a few weeks back. I can completely see this lady in your post. Honey, swinging is about the ladies IMO. I believe that it is meant to make you all feel, sexy, empowered and able to seek pleasure without guilt or negative feelings. We guys have been allowed this freedom throughout history. If it doesn't make you feel fantastic it's not worth it. Speak your mind, tell him what you are feeling. It sounds like there would be no swinging without you, use your power.
  2. I'm so impressed with the above post. Recognizing that you have a weakness and giving your wife the opportunity to deal with it from a position of reality is so commendable. So many in your situation choose to take the easy way out and lie about the situation. Giving folks the opportunity to forgive is important. Problem is you can't forgive someone for something that they haven't come clean about.
  3. Honey I have say to you I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I've been in a similar situation and 10+ yrs later I STILL can't figure it out. Mine was a girlfriend that refused to swap with couples but later I found that she'd approach the male half secretly behind everyone's backs. It's weird and makes ZERO sense doesn't it? It hurts, even today it still kinda hurts some actually. It will and it's normal. This is what I've come up with after having 10 yrs to think about it. People are quirky, we get off on a WHOLE LOT of different shit. I've come to the conclusion that while my girlfriend at the time loved me, she got off on the deception. Me being with someone else wasn't part of the fantasy. Here's the deal breaker though, her fantasy/pleasure was more important to her than my happiness and comfort. I feel like she raped me in a strange round about way. It's never right to just take your pleasure at the expense of the feelings of someone that loves you. It sounds like you love your partner dearly and good on you for that. You HAVE to set boundaries if you guys are going to have a go at this. It's very important to your emotional health and the health of the relationship that you establish and stick to strict boundaries with this type of behaviour. Anything less and you will stuck in a vicious, painful circle of cheating, lies and pain. You sound like your self esteem is still intact although it has taken a hit. Learn to be a little selfish and don't forget about the YOU part of this thing. You are important and deserve respect. I hope this turns out alright for you two. In the end I wound up moving on. Strange thing is that when I finally did move on, my girlfriend couldn't stand it. She wound up picking up and moving across the country because she couldn't stand to see me with another woman. Strange, right?? In the end I grew tired of trying to figure it out. Good luck hon and please don't forget about YOU.
  4. Thanks for the replys, I feel alot better about the situation. I think what had me paranoid about it is a story that I heard. There was a couple that would only play separate rooms. Turned out they weren't a couple, they were cousins. The while thing was a set up. They'd separate the couple and the guy would get his rocks of while his cousin would cry and and try to stall. A really FD up way to try and get laid. Anyway, my wife is very happy to hear that you all don't believe it was a setup. She felt very dirty over the whole thing.
  5. Hi all, I need opinions. We met a couple over the weekend. Things went well, we chatted well iver a couple drinks and finally retired to the bedroom. Things started getting hot and heavy and full swap was definitely in the cards. I was making love to my wife when the female side if our foursome said she had to use the washroom. We continued on until the guy asked could he have a good at my wife. She was into it and we figured when the other woman returned the swap would be on. She never returned. We found her on the couch in the living room crying. She says she wasn't ever really into it and it hurt her when her man got with others. I immediately thought that we were set up and thus is their way of getting him laid without having to reciprocate. Does anyone agree and has anyone heard of this type of predatory behaviour? It seemed really strange that she would hang out until the ball got rolling then leave without letting us know she wasn't coming back.
  6. I found this is the normal experience guys and it's way frustrating. We want that earth-shattering sexual experience that we get when were alone, to happen with our lifestyle partners. It's ok to have high expectations, we're lifestylers, we're not out here to fall over and sex up anyone that pays attention. You are allowed to be as choosy as you want to be with who you get naked with. It sounds like that one responder is one of those, "You met me so you HAVE to fuck me" types. We've been at it for 2 yrs, we're in shape, young, attractive etc. and we've only had 2 satisfying experiences. One was just ok in comparison to that 1 Blockbuster experience. The rest we're tap out material. We have great sex when it's just the two of us, we're not going to add some people only to dull our edge a bit. Not ever will this happen. Don't change what you expect from this lifestyle because someone says your being to picky. Keep doing you.
  7. I ran into a curious situation today. We posted an ad and the gentleman responded, we were looking to meet a couple. My wife and I spoke briefly with the gentleman and it seemed like it would be a go. We were going to have the ladies chat to make a date. He then proceeded to tell us that his lady was adamant about being in separate rooms. Same room was a deal breaker for her. This threw us off a bit. I've never heard of a woman being unwilling to play same room with her partner. Please ladies chime in, Erica found this VERY strange. Are we right to have the red flags popping up? Is this as strange as it seems? We can't see not being able to meet at the eyes once in awhile.
  8. I have a very simple answer to most "I'm on the fence" type questions. The experience will NOT be fulfilling unless all involved are 110% into it. Passionless, tentative, worried and unsure are not words that go well with lifestyle sex. Yeah, it can be done but is it all it can be? Probably not. When it's right, you'll feel it in the pit of your gut. You'll feel like you maybe shouldn't do it but, you know that you will in spite of that. Be sure.
  9. Sounds to me like there is not alot supporting you moving forward with this idea. This is no small move to make honey and it shouldn't be made unless you are 100% sure you're ready. Please don't do it simply because you want to please your man OK? This can ruin the experience for ALL involved. One rule of thumb that we adhere to is that EVRRYBODY must be passionately into the situation before we move forward. If you find yourself sharing the same passion for the encounter that your man has then and only then IMO is it safe to step forward.
  10. We're sitting discussing it again right now. It was an amazing situation because the show Swing is what opened the doors to the lifestyle for us. It allowed us to present our hidden desires to each other in safe manner. Having said that the episode that we have been discussing nearly put a damper on things once we viewed it. I knew immediately that I NEVER wanted to be either of the gentleman roles presented therein. Being a Black gentleman, I receive many requests to be the BBC in alot of fantasy situations and it is very hot. This one seemed kinda dirty and we felt as if Darrell was "raped" somewhat. One can't help but wonder how many couples ran screaming from the lifestyle as a result of this episode?
  11. I felt very uncomfortable watching this episode. My wife and I agreed afterwards that should the vibe EVER approach the one given from this episode for either of us we would immediately tapout. The action in this episode turned both of us off. Fortunately, we found that this type of activity is seen very little in the lifestyle where we're from.
  12. Have to say that it was Swing that triggered our journey into the lifestyle. Until stumbling onto this show Erica and I were both afraid to let each other know about our "lifestyler" tendencies. The show allowed us to become more open with each other about our desire to seek more extreme pleasure experiences. Having said that our favourite episode is the Tehya episode. Her hot pink hair and hyper-sexual attitude was liberating and sexy. It was over that episode that allowed us to begin exploring.
  13. I have had the experience of feeling like the "ugly" one. By no means am I ugly IMO but, I have felt a few times that a wife has agreed to "take one for the team" so that her partner can get at my wife. Total turnoff feeling and it can kill an encounter. Communication is key. Get it out there and you may find that it is a matter of simple misunderstanding. That's what happened with us.
  14. I love the term. It should be immediately incorporated into the lifestyle dictionary. Thanks for all the replies. I want to say that this lifestyle is filled with the absolute best people. We are so happy that we've ventured down this path.
  15. Hey lifestylers, just wanting to get the opinions of fellow lifestylers. My wife and I have been immersed in the swinging pool for almost a year now. After a year she has yet to find, "that guy" that she wants to go full with. I myself have been with a handful of ladies at her request. I can only get into it when I know that it's what SHE wants and she is totally getting off on it. She even had to manually insert my penis into one of our partners.(it was so HOT by the way). Otherwise it's a no go. What I'm thinking is that we enjoy the atmosphere, sexuality and openness of the lifestyle but swapping may not be our thing. Being able to transition from fully dressed and socializing to sex in seconds is a turn on. We love hanging out with other openly sexual people and are both open to the experience should we meet that couple that we just can't resist but we haven't met them yet. I'm wondering if our dynamic is normal in the lifestyle? Are we too picky? Is it reaching to expect an earth-shattering connection before going forward? Are we truly lifestylers or just tourists? Our only social activities are with lifestylers (clubs etc.). Anything else is just too vanilla.
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