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mphil17

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  • Content Count

    25
  • Joined

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35 Excellent

About mphil17

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 02/11/1979

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    SWPA
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. I spoke with a friend who was rumored to have been in a long term affair with him. She confirmed it. He talked of leaving. He lied and told her his wife wasn’t interested in sex. Obviously a lie if she swings with him.
  2. Unfortunately, it’s not a situation of don’t ask, don’t tell. She simply refuses to believe what is blatantly obvious, but he provides a nice lifestyle she could not afford without him.
  3. Would you play with a married couple if you knew the husband steps out on the wife? We ran into friends at a club, and it is well known in our vanilla friend circle that he cheats on her, and we are not talking a hall pass. She has been told about his cheating more than once, but she lives in denial. I think she assumes since they swing he would never cheat. I know of one woman he had a 1 year sexual and emotional relationship with without her knowing. I will admit, we are physically interested, but worried about the possible drama if she ever realizes what he really does behind her back.
  4. Thank you, adamgunn, for putting this to words. I cringe when swingers have an attitude that we are more enlightened or somehow have superior relationships to our vanilla counterparts. Monogamous couples are not less enlightened or less loving to their spouses than we are, they merely value monogamy while we value non-monogamy, neither is right or wrong or superior to the other. I get frustrated with the party line swingers have better or closer relationships. Some of the most dysfunctional relationships I have seen have been swingers, even long time swingers. I know swingers that have very little sex with one another without a third (or more) party involved. Swingers cheat, lie, divorce, get lazy, take one another for granted, and every other thing couples get wrong. The only difference is we do it while fucking people other than our spouses. Like it or not, we are just as fucked up as the rest of the married population.
  5. I don’t think anybody realizes that swingers get outed to the vanilla world and this is one way it happens. Two podcasts I have listened to were outed to the vanilla world. When swinging goes wrong it can have far reaching consequences.
  6. I understand that point, I do. I haven’t paid, not because I’m cheap, but because I refuse to pay for a site the owners show so little interest in. I want to pay for quality. If they can’t be bothered to make it better and more user friendly, why would I bother to pay?
  7. SLS isn’t a really good site, the platform is archaic and the owners don’t even try to weed out fakes. They aren’t changing benefits to free members for the greater good. It is only a reaction to SESTA/FOSTA. They’ve never before taken benefits from free members because they know the site is severely lacking in many ways.
  8. I tend to agree, monogamists and swingers both want to believe their marriage philosophy makes for a better or stronger marriage. If you think about it, it’s the mantra of the swinging community, “swingers divorce less often”. Unfortunately, the research simply isn’t available to back up that statement. The small amount of research done has been through the lens of current, active swingers, so of course the data will Trend that direction, but it isn’t an accurate sample. Most unhappy or divorced swingers aren’t hanging around swingers forums or other places swingers gather, thus, the data is skewed. I’ve been around the lifestyle long enough to see the good and the bad, one does not outweigh the other. I have a decent amount of swinger friends that won’t divorce and put on a good front when out with other swingers, but home life is anywhere from disconnected to disfunctional to toxic, but they swing to have sex. People stay married for all kinds of reasons, and it isn’t always due to happiness and openness, even swingers. I don’t push the swinger narratives of swingers are happier and divorce less, or swingers have fewer STIs, because I’ve not seen any evidence of it. It’s a risk, and I’m willing to take it, but I could end up being one of the, not so rare, couples that one partner leaves for the swing playmate, it happens. Cheating happens in all kinds of marriages, even swinger marriages.
  9. This jumped out at me, and I realize you were thinking of romantic relationships, but parenting requires considering and supporting someone other than yourself. The difference is that “someone else” is completely dependent upon you. It is not a part time gig and it requires self SACRIFICE. I would caution you to make sure you are “very independent” and not “selfish” before becoming a parent. I hate being harsh but the second part of your sentence sounds more selfish than independent; selfish people do not make good parents.
  10. America's STD Epidemic: Chlamydia, Gonorrhea & Syphilis Cases on the Rise It makes me stop and think because we don’t use barriers for oral. Chlamydia and Gonorrhea can be transmitted orally and lay dormant for years while still being able to be shared between partners. Stay safe out there, folks!
  11. The ones that focus on the drinking and partying hurt the reputation of us in the lifestyle, and it pisses me off. I also stop listening when I realize the podcast WRs have to drink or be drunk while recording. It's a put-off for me. I wonder why so many hang it up so often. Have any actually been outed? If so, was it by fellow swingers?
  12. What is your favorite swinging podcast, and why?
  13. It was heartbreaking. The wife had no clue. After the first cheating incident and the strengthening (or so she thought) of the marriage she believed he was 100% faithful. She had no idea about them going behind her back. She was absolutely devastated. He was defensive and said he could not help who he loved. He said they both knew there was a risk when swinging that could end in one of them finding a more suitable partner. He showed guilt, but not being sorry for what he has done. She kicked him out of the house and is meeting with a lawyer. The saddest part aside from her heartache and the destruction of their family is the non-stop gossip in the swinging community about the entire situation. I was hoping swingers, being open and honest and valuing trust and respect, would be above the gossip and cruelty.
  14. Swinging does not cure cheating. Cheating is rarely about sex alone. The one doing the cheating has a defect within themselves they need to cure before they are a safe partner to anybody. Plenty of people in the lifestyle are also cheaters.
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