Himeros

That's actually a relief - the site looks good and legit, but I was worried it was perhaps some sort of scam (ie, you pay and then find out that 99% of the profiles are fake and/or escorts). If even reliable sites are paid then that's not too bad.

Ok, so my wife has decided we can possibly look a little closer to home. Which brings to my the next conundrum: how do I start looking? I'm in NZ, and found this site: Kiwi Swingers Saw an ad that looked interesting, signed up, but - oh, what do you know - 29.99 for a monthly subscription to enable messaging! Who would have guessed. Any recommendations?

Alright, thank you everyone for the feedback and advice. GoldCoCouple might be partially right that doing this overseas is to avoid being recognized (although it's probably also because we both loved Japan) - how much of a problem is that likely to be? Any advice on how to avoid 'getting recognized' if we go advertising/looking on a dating site?

Thank you kikonkrone for the well-thought-out response. I don't think my wife intentionally made it difficult. More likely she never really thought about the practical logistics of the fantasy. Since I have no experience here I just wanted to know if I was right in thinking it would be as hard as I think it would be. We'll talk together some more and see where we go.

What would you propose should be done differently if we were to realistically try for a MFF threesome? What expectations make it unrealistic? In my opinion the following two changes would be required: - Don't do it overseas - Don't try to make it spontaneous I feel that taking time to actually get to know the third person at least to some extent is key - that is, meeting with them first, and communicating honestly. I feel the above two things are the biggest roadblocks to that happening.

Thank you Lionheart, that sounds right to me. Would like to hear what others think as well. Is Lionheart right? What should be our next steps, if any?

A long time ago, my wife mentioned to me that she might be willing to have a threesome with another woman involved. It's a bit surprising in some ways - she's usually very reserved when it comes to sex - far more so than me - but I didn't initiate this idea. At the time I wasn't sure what to think. I hadn't ever really thought it would even be possibility, hadn't really thought about it before. But the idea stayed with me afterwards. A couple of days ago, I raised the topic. I wanted to get a better understanding of what she wanted and hoped to get out of this. She said she would be keen to try it "for the experience". But a lot of the things she said make me hesitant - they make me think that we couldn't ever practically make this happen. For a start, she wants the other woman to be Asian (specifically Japanese or Korean). Furthermore, she wants to have this encounter overseas, preferably in Japan (which we've both visited before and loved, but isn't exactly next door). Neither one of us actually speaks Japanese or Korean. She isn't inherently opposed to the idea of us hiring an escort, but wants the other woman to 'want it' as well, which is a sentiment we both share. And ideally, she'd like it to be something sort of spontaneous too. While I like the idea, I don't see how it can be possible. I'm new to this idea, but in my experience spontaneous threesomes aren't likely to happen. My understanding is that finding a woman willing to participate in a threesome with a couple is rare. To find one that is also compatible, even more so. I don't see how we could ever hope to find one in a foreign country, without being able to meet them in person until we're there. And the fact that prostitution is illegal in Japan means firstly that it is hard for tourists to even find escorts, and that the risk of STDs or human trafficking being involved are all the higher. I don't know what to do. I'm excited by the idea of us doing something like this together, but don't see how to make it work. Is this fantasy even possible?