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invrpm

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About invrpm

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  • Birthday 04/13/1978

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    NJ
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  1. My inquiry is mostly geared to the women who swing who have husbands who are well endowed. Also for the husbands on the other end of this inquiry who are not so endowed. So first my question for the women with the well endowed husbands. When you swing and discover that the male half of the other couple is barley average what are your first thoughts and do you in some way feel cheated or disappointed? Like you maybe taking one for the team? Or some other way of thinking like its a nice break or any other thoughts you can think of that come to mind. For the male halves of couples who have the less than impressive package who have swung with couples who's husband was well endowed. Did you feel that the wives were not having as good of a time with you as your wife may have been with the other husband or worse made fun of your size or lose an erection from embarrassment or inadequacy? I know its a turn on for guys to watch their wives take a big one but what about the wife you now somehow got to please without the same pleasure power as her husband. I've played with dildos with my wife and know she really likes a thick long one because the other dildos don't do the same. Its like its hitting all the spots and it lights her up like a pinball machine and she sounds hot and wouldn't mind seeing her getting pleased like that but can't help but think I wouldn't be good enough for the other wife who gets that pleasure on a daily basis. I'm trying to get input from you guys as to how the disparity between sizes plays out in the playing. I'm very good at oral and some finger love and just under the bottom end of the average line for length and thickness but wondering if playing with couples with that much of a disparity is a good idea or just get a single male to service that need for her from time to time. Or perhaps does it work where one couple you play with, be it y'all are attracted to one another, one half has a unique characteristic and say the hubby has the great time with his partner but the wife has just a meh experience and the vise versa for the wife having a great time with a different couple and the husband has just the meh experience?
  2. Thank You everyone for all the great feedback! Glad I listened to my instincts and told him that we were good. It makes feel better knowing I was in the right and you guys confirmed that for me. Thank you again. Makes the wife feel better too knowing I made the right call after she got y'all's feedback.
  3. Thank you. But if we say have a 4 way video chat that can be brought up and her demeanor can say alot about what's going on. If we gonna play and there isn't any secrets then there shouldn't be a reason to chat alone. Do you insist on chatting alone before you play at all? From my point of view all cards should be on the table and no secrets so everyone feels more comfortable.
  4. Hello everyone. Been off and on looking into this lifestyle and had thought we found a pretty decent matching couple for our first experience. We started talking to a couple and explained that the wife was really interested in her first bi experience and that letting the ladies have fun while we men watched or at most had sex with our own wives if things were going good. Now the male half wanted to have separate conversations which I really wasn't comfortable with. So he let me talk to his wife on my kik account and my wife used my kik account to talk to him when time allowed for it because she don't have one and she's really not a big talker. Not too far into the conversation he asked her if she'd be interested in swapping (not what me and him discussed) And she said probably. Which he already knew what we after which was to focus on my wifes first bi experience. And I told him we wanted to take it slow and go one step at a time. And then he gets frustrated because we have rules in place. At first he was ok with it and then gets aggravated and tells me I just need to go with the flow and let go of the control. Then he kept harping about us sleeping with each other's wives separately. So I was talking to his wife who he said was shy so that's cool but they're seasoned swingers so idk what she's shy about and she almost seemed not interested in the way she would answer anything. We are a more attractive couple than them and he really liked my wife and the fact that she squirts and likes anal so he was like "jackpot" and he even so much as said the like in one of his messages. His wife didn't like to do much of anything including not even so much as going anywhere near her butthole. I get you may not like anal but she wanted nothing to do with any of it and ok thats her prerogative but it feels like I'm getting a dud and he's winning the lottery with my wife. So he ask me again about letting him talk alone with her and I tell him again to stay on my kik app. The next time I let him talk to her he immediately gives his phone number for her to text him and my wife calls me in the room and she replies back our agreed upon rule that we don't communicate outside that app whether social media or anything. He starts going on about oh that's a red flag. He's for some reason is hell bent on speaking alone with her. We respond back with he's sending red flags because he's not respecting our ways of communication with couples at this never played before stage. Now I talked to his wife alone on the app but only because he was so insistent upon it and it made for very frustrating conversation because I could feel the interest wasn't there from the door. We wanted to do a phone call with all 4 of us on the line and he kept putting it off then when he couldn't talk to my wife alone he got pissed and all the sudden the phone call they couldn't make that night they dam near demanded that we call. So we did and he's like ok so there's really 4 of us here but he's like I'm loosing interest and your wife is nothing more than a pretty picture to me right now and he said he let me talk to his wife and he was mad because he couldn't talk to my wife alone and he's not letting his wife play with someone if she doesn't get to to know them first and thats all well and good but I wanted to do that with everyone in the open not separate. Oh and one of his famous sayings was they're are very chill couple and not pushy. But that's exactly how I felt during this. My wife was like lets just do it all and see how it is but she doesn't read about swinging the way I do. I have to relay all the information I learned and explain to her about rules and being on the same page. She's like a free spirit but isn't taking into account that going too far to quick could be disastrous. I was in agreement with her at first about just going to go with the flow because we wanted an experience until he was insistent on talking to her by herself and on the phone call he didn't like that he couldn't have his way and we ended it there with them. So I need to know am I wrong for not letting him chat with my wife alone? Was I right to have our boundaries in place for that? Is that common practice in the swinger community when everything is supposed to be out in the open? I want to know did I dodge a bullet with this couple or did I mess up somewhere? Thank you all and look forward to hearing your input on this as we find our way in this.
  5. I think this is where I would wind up. Rationalizing it in my head but my heart/emotions, I couldn't get it. I guess you can tell yourself something all you want but if your heart isn't in it with you it won't show in your actual demeanor. Kinda like confidence. If you don't believe in yourself it will show to others. If you or Anyone had any advise to how they got their emotions to be alright with all this I would love to hear from you. Ok this is cynical but any women here ever had their world rocked by a 3 or 4 inch cock better than someone whose sporting a big tool (oh and let me add that in this scenario, yes, he knows how to use it and not pound away). Love to hear it. I too want to please my partner but I feel like I'm all alone going into this too. She has like no fears like the women on here about breast size or pussy tightness. I don't really know, but I feel like if we both had a fear about another partner I wouldn't feel like the outcast or the ass for having such a huge insecurity. Any advice on that? Not quite sure whats going on in my head with this one. Also to those arguing about breast and penises; boy did I spark a controversy. Listen I don't discount anyone's insecurities any less than the other. I think it boils down at least from my perspective as a deeper level of intimate fear for a man. Just follow me. As one had said that yes, women are bombarded with billboards and yes, people can see your size in your shirts which of course has very negative effects on a persons perception of themselves. The positive side to that is that you are filtered out from the door as to who will approach you based on attractiveness and your breast size. So if the guy likes YOU your breast don't matter to him because he can see what your packing already. Now the other side to this equation. A man meets a woman, say they are co-workers. The sparks fly and they hit it off. It gets to the big moment and the big reveal. She may not say anything but a micro expression to show her disappointment can devastate a guy. Then the next day, the girls are snickering and looking at you and you know what its about because girls talk. Not to say snide remarks aren't made to women with small breast its just a little more intimate in nature for a guy so adds a level of intensity to it. Not that women hurt any less. I never said that. I just said its different in our experiences. BTW this very scenario has happened to me. And yea that shit hurts. It happened more than once too.
  6. Yes I feel possessive but I don't mind sharing her with someone of the same size as myself. I don't even mind if she gave a bigger guy oral or a hand job. Where my anxiety come in at, is a guy with the bigger tool doing something I can never physical do to my girl. And yes I've been listening to everyone. Not so much one person. you know who you are. And all your advice does not fall on deaf ears. I know in the lifestyle there are different people out there but you can pick and choose who to play with right? So if he's bigger we stay soft swing and if around the same size we can have more fun. Also, and this is going to sound selfish but the misses is insisting she don't have a problem if the woman is tighter or boobs are bigger or not etc because her words exactly "I don't obsess over that shit like other girls do" She said if it's soft swing she don't mind if I am with the other woman even though she isn't having sex with the other man. So, with what I said above, and she's ok with it because she don't want to hurt me, why can't I just do that? I know my emotions can handle it to that point. Now I want her to have fun too but maybe one day I might be ready for the bigger guy to step in. But I can tell you today is not that day. So any advice on this level of play would be welcome and thanks to all who have been helping thus far.
  7. Thank you! Well said. At least you actually empathize with a hurting man which is awesome. Not that anyone Else's advice hasn't been good. Just the first person who sounds like they feel it.
  8. It is funny you said this and you sound a lot like my girlfriend as an introvert and that I can get her to orgasm till she cries with all these emotions. She says she don't know what she's feeling, it's like all her emotions at once and it's like an overload to her and wants me to stop. She says she don't like the way that feels but, I think it is hot to let go like that, but she wants me to stop every time but I want her to let go and make it even more intense. But she says it feels annoying. So I stop but wishing I could drive her over an edge she hasn't been to yet. As an introvert like yourself can you relate to this and offer any advice? BTW in case your wondering the orgasms she getting are from fingers and mouth. Not my penis. Not at all. If you read my original post I said I had extensions, toys, dildos and vibrators and the like. But she don't really care for toys at all. Was trying to find one that would make her happy and she would change her mind. But to no avail. I would be perfectly fine with her having a toy that could do that for her. It's not attached to another male! As trivial as that may seem to you from a female perspective it is Very personal to a man to be able to satisfy his woman. And if I can do it with a toy to her or watch her do it herself...... it is totally different watching another male do it to your girlfriend or wife regardless if its an extension of yourself. Its not. Because shes MINE! and me, and a lot of other guys can relate, that with our women, we are very possessive of, and when we feel threatened by someone who can do something we can't, we take a flight or fight stance on it.
  9. This is what I needed to hear. Thank you soooooo very much! And no we are not there yet.
  10. You say "interesting" experience. Could you elaborate on your experience please? I'm curios as to what made that experience "interesting" but also your language for it brings me to say that this is what my girl uses to define what she thinks about swinging. "interesting" She is very vague about it and won't exactly say what she finds "interesting".... I wish I could get more from her than this. But that's it. Anymore prying and it's returned with an "I don't know" but like a don't bother me kinda I don't know! I would be very interested to know how your husband got past that. It might just be the thing to help me get past my jealousy. You never know. I would appreciate it if you could ask him.
  11. We basically wanted to do this to explore multi-partner fantasies like MMF and FFM. We never really talked about full swapping. She is like this closet freak that will only let you look through the keyhole once in a while. If she would just open up instead of me prying it out of her. I guess she's hardcore to appear as the good girl so I don't think any less of her. I told her I won't judge her if she has other fantasies as I tell her mine but it's like pulling teeth to get them out of her. Any advice on that that REALLY WORKS and I'll be in debt for life to you. So the topic came up about penis size and I told her how I felt. We did find another couple we are talking to right now and the gentleman is slightly larger than me and she agreed to only have him in the rear. So for now that is fine by me and I feel soft swinging is what I will feel most comfortable with. I don't think at this point seeing her with a larger man would be good for me but she has great oral skills and I wouldn't mind seeing my girl do that and the like. Are there couples that only do soft swinging all the time or is it always the stepping stone for swapping? Love to hear anyone's replies to this.
  12. I would agree with you on this but like I said in my post when I had used a liberator wedge and was able to get a little deeper I could see the look on her face change when I was hitting something in there. And while we were doing it and in the moment I asked her does it feel better deeper and she replied yes. And then the next day I go so you do like it deeper and she flat out denies it. I used to have a girl who was shallower and she too was a squirter and I'm all too familiar with that face she made and she straight lies about it, frustrates me. It's like her defense mechanism not to hurt my feelings, which I get but I rather her tell me the truth that she liked it and maybe we can move forward on it. Any advice on that?
  13. Hello. I have a question about guys with bigger penises than mine. Me and my girl are starting out in the swinging scene and have not done anything yet with another couple but I am kinda freaking out here. I'm on the low side of average and want and have tried to please my girl with extensions but she does not like toys whatsoever. I know in the past the partners she had were all around the same size or an inch bigger and she never really felt anything with them. I have like awakened her sexuality in that I've gotten her to learn to squirt and she enjoys sex much better as she said she never did. However, she said she had sex with one guy she felt something with, the ONLY guy she felt something with and he was big like 9 inch long a 2 inches wide. I know because I had bought a toy and asked her was the guy about this big and she said yeah. But she hates when I bring it up. I know I'm not hitting things in there like I should because unless she's super turned on it just feels like we are going thru the motions. I know there is something to it because we have the liberator wedge and when I get up there on her and can get it a little deeper you can see the change in her face and I know the bullshit line of "you're fine, you're perfect, any more and its gonna hurt" is a bunch of horseshit! I say something about it and she denies it emphatically. Now I know what your saying, well if you found something and it's working what's wrong? What's wrong is if I got that little bit out of her, what the hell is it going to be like if someone much larger than me makes her body do shit I ain't seen. I tried to give her some pleasure myself with those objects (the dildo and the extensions) but she claims she hates the feeling because its not real. I have seen my girl in great pleasure before but if I see her with another dude who is hung and I hear sounds I ain't never heard before I'm gonna freak and my insecurities will magnify thousandfold. For me it is one thing if I can give it to her first with either a toy or extension and have the satisfaction to know I can somehow give her that magnitude of pleasure I would be ok with her playing with other bigger dudes. As far as all the people on here who start comparing tight pussies and breast, don't bother. I asked her if that was an issue for her and she could care less. She's not a free spirit as much as her careless attitude might make it sound. She just don't think about and obsess over breast, makeup, and pussy tightness. Now women can tighten their pussies with kegals but men can't make their dicks bigger regardless of all the bullcrap they sell out there for it. Unless someone with real experience and success is willing to back it up with pictures can chime in. But even if she tightened up, I still am on the shallow side of her depth. I've also read all the oh she's coming home to you stories and all the other people who have no concern for the person's feelings of inadequacy. So please if you ain't helping ease my fears save it! So my question to the men here is after reading all the back story and can relate to the "you're fine" bullshit women say because their men can't please them like they remember being pleased. What coping strategies did you use to get past it? Yes we talked about all the stuff I said above about how I feel and she agreed that we won't swing with anyone larger than myself until I can get past this. I want her to have fun but not at the expense of destroying me inside. So how do you move past hearing or seeing your girl do stuff you could never do to her? That's gotta rot a man from the inside out and can you ever get past it. Some of you I know it turns you on. I'm not asking you so please don't reply. I'm talking to the guys who it REALLY hurts them inside. HELP ME THROUGH THIS GUYS! I want her to feel good too. I love her and we love each other very much but nonetheless even the strongest love can't at least for me (at this moment) quench that tremendous insecurity. Now to the ladies, if after reading this backstory and you have gone through it with your man. How did you help him along with it? Saying you're fine and I love your stuff does not help in anyway especially after seeing the woman you love get pleasured like never before. And ladies, if you husband got turned on by it, this is not for you. SERIOUSLY how do you help in get past this. Going home with him, oh yeah that's a winner. Now he knows your head and body is still spinning from what the other guy did to you. He is not going to be able to get that out of his head. So if you got a real solution to mine and other poor less endowed individuals her PLEASE CHIME IN! Now I know I sound cynical people. It's my frustration coming out because I want this to work but when everyone will tell you it is a hangup and get over it, when you know damn well women derive more pleasure from a bigger man. WTF be in a person's shoes and see if it don't fuck you up. Hopefully the REAL people on here who been through it or are going through it can help. Not to say everyone on here is not real. Just some people are more shallow than others and have no respect for a person's feelings. Thanks to everyone in advance. Look forward to your replies so we can begin having fun without the hangups.
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