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NaBo

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About NaBo

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  • Birthday 04/09/1967

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    Sydney
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    xx/xx/xxxx

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  1. My wife has been squirting for years now, and is enjoying it now more that ever. This is probably attributed to her personal masseuse that knows exactly where to touch her. She squirts as soon as he puts his hands on her clit after about an hour of very sensual massage. My hope is that everyone should experience a squirter and enjoy it as much as I do. Oooohhh. I wish I had a masseuse who could do that! Lol. But luckily for me hubby is incredibly good at getting me to squirt/gush. Before him, I had squirted only occasionally - more by accident than design. The first time Hubby made me squirt I absolutely flooded. I couldn't believe it. It definitely didn't smell like wee. Other times it does a bit. I looooove cuming & gushing - it feels so incredibly divine. Hubby adores it. He adores experiencing my pleasure as I do his.
  2. Thanks so much to everyone for sharing with us. It's ten or so days later and I just want to reflect on sentiments expressed in some of the replies here and just ... talk. It helps a lot to write about all this - even though this has morphed into a post about being new rather than a specific event. Perhaps I should start a new post? I've never actually posted in a forum before - so I'm not sure about the norms. Please let me know if I should do this. If not, I'll just keep expressing myself here for a while. It's a relief to know other people feel trepidation about seeing their partner with another person. We really loved the comment by CoupleInMD79 about how proud you were as well as turned on by hearing and seeing each other enthralled. We are really hopeful that we will feel something similar.. Also GoldCoCouple, thanks for your input - your breaking down swingers into the two groups makes a lot of sense even though you recognise you're making broad generalisations. Through a matter of necessity, Harry & Sally seem to prefer to meet, play, whammo. And .... nothing wrong with that of course. On the swingers websites we frequent we noticed that some couples state outright that they're not much for the social side & once they decide on a couple they're happy to meet and play straight away. We are more like you - at least for our first few times (we'd want at least a few play dates before we decided if swinging was for us or not. We would prefer to meet, chat, feel if there's a connection between the four of us, leave, talk and then it's a yes or no for a future date. We watched a show on swinging and one of the couples said that they were fortunate that for their first time they found a couple who were really experienced and who were very patient and happy to go slowly and almost ... mentored them through their first experience or experiences ... That would be so awesome. At this point I'm genuinely in awe of those people - such as several of those who have replied to my / our posts - who truly, genuinely love seeing their (insert whichever feels right) ... partners, lovers, husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, other label, and / or no label applies ... enjoying themselves sexually with another person. I aspire to that. To imagine myself delighted and proud that he is happily fucking someone else and feeling the same from him is absolutely the goal but it's a bit hard for me to imagine feeling that right now. I definitely feel like I'm the more nervous of the two of us. I had not felt so sexually liberated and alive with previous partners as now so I was not as sexually adventurous as Bo before we met and fell in love. Bo had not participated in swinging as part of a couple before but he had played as a single and was into BDSM with another partner so I guess he is/was more comfortable at the sexual fringes. I adored sex but I had never even taken a photo of myself nude let alone taken sexually explicit photos & videos... and then posted some of them online - albeit anonymously.... I knew I was an incredibly sexual person but I guess it became easy to shut down my more adventurous sexual self before Bo. What I'm getting at is that while we both have strongly sexual natures and Bo adores how highly sexed and kinky I can be, I feel that it's a (? much ?) bigger stretch for me than for him to fool around with other people at this stage. I guess I'm highly conditioned - as are many. Marriage / partnership has been steeped in romance and love for a long time (vs it being a strategic move between families - ie merging of family farms or property etc as in past centuries) so we have equated sexual & emotional fidelity as central to the success of that arrangement. As such we are institutionalised to certain norms and those who step or act aside those normative parameters are acting outside what is ethical. Marriage, & in recent decades 'partnership', has/have fairly strict boundaries when it comes to fidelity and straying from or stepping outside the predominant and culturally accepted norms can be threatening and frightening for some. I'm working on my inherent tendency to view sex as equated with love - a VERY powerful message. It's sold to us through all the major institutions- family, media, politics and religion. Marketing tells us that two people & one relationship equals a happy & fulfilled life and there's to be no hanky panky with anyone else forEVER. If you don't subscribe to that then you're not to be trusted. But we're exploring something very very different - that love and fidelity can remain present while a couple explores sex with other people is possible despite it being outside what we've been 'sold'. I know that I want to step outside decades of indoctrination of what a 'good' and healthy relationship & of what fidelity / infidelity look like, and embrace a new version of 'normal' - tailor made for us. That would be extraordinarily wonderful. I also know that I WANT to feel happy for Bo and feel wonderful that he's happy for me. And yes, again back to the point - I'll / we'll never know unless we just .... just .... (I want to say 'just do it but the phrase was so effectively hijacked as a bloody Nike slogan tha I can't say it lol) .... dive into the pond ... (there... that's better... lol). It's all just academic until then.
  3. One more thing. Thanks so much for your replies and posts and messages. This is actually a great place to talk & even a couple of lines in reply to our posts makes a big difference & means a lot to us. We've met some great people so far and I think the more we talk about this adventure & the more we express ourselves, the less scary it feels. Scariness can come from feeling alone with these experiences and the resultant emotions - from fear to anticipatory excitement and all in between. We feel our experience on Sunday night was very positive and I hope I didn't give the impression we were / I was nitpicking. We just learned that it's as important to find out what you don't like or want as what you do. I guess I was trying to communicate how we reacted & why we concluded what we did as well as outline the events of the night. Harry & Sally were really great people and we found them very warm and patient with us. When we were driving home Bo & I were really happy & invigorated & excited that we went along to meet them. Just because they were not for us sexually didn't mean we didn't have a great time hanging out with them. We did. We were kind of proud of ourselves for takng the step to go and meet them. And the excitement leading up to meeting them was exquisite. While I was driving back to Sydney Bo & I talked about our boundaries and by the time I got there we were ready to rip each other's clothes off. We were incredibly horny and had amazing sex - it was just .... oh!!! But then we hadn't seen each other for a few days & we have sex most days as we have strong sex drives so it was impossible to keep our hands off each other when I got back home. We didn't allow ourselves to cum though - we stored that up in anticipation of meeting our couple. We were both walking a little bandy legged as a result lol. We just used it as an opportunity to get warmed up. Then we got ready. We plan on having a similar cuddle tonight before we go out. Oh. We really love sex. It rocks! Lol... So we're going to this swingers party tonight even though we've both had a long week & are tired. We have no expectations of how the evening will go. It's possibly less scary tonight because there will be about 30 people. So it's less intimate perhaps. The main point is that we're putting ourselves out there. We may or may not play but we really want to meet other swingers, swap stories and if the mood strikes fool around together - even if not with others. When we went to the swingers clubs we've just fucked in the company of others and found that very exciting. We haven't popped our cherry with another couple yet but .... all in good time. It's exciting learning to ride the bike ... lol Will write about tonight's experience asap. Hugs NaBo
  4. Before you proceed further I want to apologise for the length of this post. I guess I'm prone to describe minutiae & I'm conscious of my need to 'talk' but I'm also hopeful that somebody may relate to what I'm writing. We caught up with the other couple (I'll call them Harry & Sally) in the bar of the hotel they were both staying at for the weekend. As I mentioned before, we told them we were newbies and very nervous & when I talked with Sally a few days earlier for about 30-40 minutes, she said that it would be absolutely fine if we decided not to play. Sally also told me that while she and Harry had been in a relationship for 18 months, they live in different cities and only caught up every 8 or so weeks. So.... if we didn't hook up there would not be another opportunity for another 8 weeks.... I think - with hindsight - unconsciously I felt a bit .... pressured by that. Anywaaaaay... It sounded to me like they're more like fuck buddies than traditional beaus - in between visits she hooks up with other couples & singles as does he. So, they definitely seemed more experienced in swinging than us and Sally told me they had developed a little community they'd be happy to introduce us to - so we could play with those couples as well. Sally also suggested in our first phone call that after we all hooked up on Sunday night that she would like for us to stay in touch so that she could come over and fuck Bo & I as a threesome - that she was keen to have a "regular threesome arrangement". I felt a bit uncomfortable about that to be honest - it felt all a bit too much too soon. Sally was reassuring me that it was fine if I didn't want to play at all but in the next breath she was offering a regular threesome with me and my husband & as part of their community. Her intentions were good & she was very friendly & nice if a bit forward so I tried to play it cool. I was determined to go into this with an open mind and an open heart. And .... who knows ... Anyway when Bo & I got there, Sally recognised us immediately & summonsed us to her and hugged us both very warmly. She told us that Harry was in the bathroom. There was a 2 seater lounge, a lounge chair and an ottoman type seat. I moved to sit on the lounge with Bo but Sally stopped Bo directing him to sit in the chair next to her (on the ottoman) "Bo I want you to sit here in the chair next to me & Na (me) I want you to sit just there ... (pointing to the lounge) .... Harry will be back in a sec". I replied "um, no, I want us to be on the lounge" but Sally persevered - "right, OK so then let's swap..... Bo you sit on the lounge and Na you sit in the chair" & she picked up her drink & moved to sit next to Bo on the lounge. But I stood firm "I'm sorry Sally but I am nervous & I really want Bo & I to sit together"... Obviously Sally (& possibly Harry) had planned to separate us - Bo to the chair so she could concentrate on him & me to the lounge so that Harry could chat to me. I was a little surprised that she wanted to separate us but perhaps she thought that she should take the lead... Anyway Bo & I were there as a couple to see whether we wanted to play. It felt to me that Sally viewed our 'liaison' as a 'fait acompli' and the drink in the bar was a formality or a nicety before the main event - a foregone conclusion. Sally looked a little taken aback as I think she wanted to get things kicking along but was very sweet, again reassuring me / us. She really was nice if a little pushy .... They both were (nice that is ...). Harry arrived and I gave him a greeting hug & Bo shook his hand. We all chatted for about 20 or so minutes when Sally changed the subject to swinging, asking us why we became involved and what we liked about it. We all talked about what had piqued our interest - for us it was about giving life to fantasies that Bo expressed while we were fucking that revolved around fucking other people. It was a similar story for Harry & Sally - Harry had prior swinging experience, Sally none. They were discussing fantasies and ...... the rest was history. A while later, Sally said "guys the attraction is there for us so we're happy to go upstairs any time you want". We said OK and just kept talking. We talked for a while longer and Bo & I quietly talked to each other. I asked Bo what he wanted to do & he said that he was OK to go upstairs. I said I didn't know yet, that I needed some more time. I was hesitating because the sexual energy just wasn't really there for me with either Harry or Sally. Certainly there was no instant attraction. I know enough though that someone's sexiness is not necessarily defined by looks & I was hoping that I would feel more attracted & more comfortable if I gave it a bit more time. Indeed I actually did find Harry more attractive as the evening progressed. He was very funny, warm, interesting, clever & seemed to have an open heart. I shared a hug with him at one stage that I actually found quite lovely as he was nice & tall & he hugged me tightly. It's important to point out though that although my attraction increased, it was from a fairly low starting point. Interestingly, although Sally was more conventionally attractive than Harry, I didn't find her particularly sexy. I guess you could say I'm bi-curious -> I'm certainly open to stretching the boundaries and it would be nice to experiment if I found a woman attractive. I mean she appeared physically attractive but I didn't get much sexy energy from her really. Bo also later told me he found it hard to connect with her - he didn't feel like he was getting a strong sexual energy from her. Also, and we risk sounding shallow perhaps (shit. Sorry in advance if so ...) but we felt surprised that Sally appeared to have made little effort with her appearance. We met in a very 'nice' bar in a pretty expensive hotel in the heart of Sydney and we had put effort into our appearance - I was wearing a long silk skirt with a loose low cut silk singlet (not too slutty though lol) with no bra underneath that hugged my breasts beautifully, sexy lace undies, sandals, nails polished, make-up, perfume and my hair was worn long and loose. Bo was in a great short sleeved shirt that showed his gorgeous broad shoulders & amazing arms & chest plus fitted pants that showed his long legs & great arse and loafers. It's warm in Sydney so I think we looked sexy and summery. Harry looked nice - he had a crisp white shirt, trousers & loafers. But, I don't know ... Sally had her hair pulled back rather severely and was wearing a loose comfy looking beige sweater that many people might wear watching tv or getting groceries, ill fitting black pants that were too short (& not in a cool way .... we call them 'ankle freezers' in Australia), no make-up (that I could discern) & chunky black shoes. Look. I again apologise if this sounds shallow but isn't meeting a new couple kind of like a first date? We had made an effort to look really nice. It wasn't about her fashion choices, it just felt like she hadn't made any effort - like it wasn't important? Maybe she felt that the drinks beforehand were a quick preliminary politeness before we all got undressed anyway so what did it matter what we're all wearing? And, you know that's fair enough if that was her thinking. Or maybe she just doesn't put much stock in all that. Which is also fair enough. It's just that we respond a bit more to people making an effort to wear something sexy. Anyway, look she had a pretty face and you could tell she had a nice enough body but Bo said he didn't feel much sexual energy, connection or interest from her. Although she did say a couple of times that they were attracted to us and wanted to go upstairs with us. And, she again offered for the three of us to get together at a later date ("or dates" she added) - given Harry would not be there... actually she reiterated this a few times. One offer would have been enough. I was also a little taken aback when she offered to give Bo her phone number so that he could call her.... Ah .... No.... not going to happen. Anyway........ As an hour passed then 90 minutes, I think it became obvious that we weren't into it. I absented myself to go to the bathroom for a tinkle and a think. I was trying to muster the courage to go back & say "right ..... let's go upstairs" but I realised that if I went upstairs I would be 'taking one for the team', or 'lying back and thinking of the motherland'.... That is I would not be doing it for myself or for the union I have with my husband. I was not attracted to them and I did not want to disrespect the trust Bo & I have by going upstairs with them if I didn't really want to. I've been completely honest with everyone in this post so no point holding back now, the truth is that my body made the decision for me and probably gave us a useful 'out'. I had finished my period two days earlier and truly thought it was over but to my great surprise found when in the bathroom that it had returned. I did not have a sponge with me and I started to feel a bit crampy. So. I returned to my seat, told Bo then explained that ... sorry .... no go. It wasn't an excuse... I really did get my period again unexpectedly. Just good old mother nature. Our decision to say goodnight was due to a combination of factors. I think we chose a couple that appeared 'safe' rather than a couple who we thought ... "wow they look really sexy and great". They were really nice people but plain ole lack of attraction played the biggest role in our decision. We know there's much more than just the physical in attraction but there needs to be something. It's hard to tell from photos, messages and phone calls whether you're actually going to feel attracted.. On first impressions, Harry was not really attractive to me at all. But as I said, as the evening went on he became more attractive to me. But would that translate into sexual desire? I don't think so.... Sally looked physically attractive but her presentation was lacklustre so became less sexy as the evening went on. I also felt I had to be careful that I wasn't just going upstairs to make everyone else happy. It had to be for me AND for Bo & I - for 'us'. I was conscious that should I go upstairs with them when I wasn't sure I wanted to - that I could be undermining myself and my relationship with Bo in some ways. Bo says that he trusts my 'no' and my 'yes'. I don't want to undermine that by saying 'yes' when I really would prefer 'no'. I think Bo was better able to put aside his reservations earlier in the night but as time went on he said he lost interest in going upstairs. Not just because he sensed I didn't want to - but for himself. 
It was a really great experience and really empowering for us as a couple. We met them, we had a great chat & decided to move on. We probably, at this stage prefer to meet first - even by Skype - then decide whether to play on another date. We will learn, move on, persevere, keep it light, keep it fun and keep prioritising our needs as a couple. So... we've got a few more things lined up... we're going to our first swingers party tonight (28/10/16) so that will be interesting. There will be 15 couples in a large hotel apartment overlooking the beach. We will go for a perve and see what happens.. Hopefully we will meet up with people we are attracted to. Or maybe something more? We're also going to a new swingers club soon and we're talking to some other couples on the internet hook up website we use. So ..... we'll just see. We'll let you know how we get along tonight. And you know any swinging related experience is part of the process of 'normalising' it for us - or of finding a version of 'normal' that works for us... I think the more couples we interact, meet & chat with, the more swingers parties & clubs we go to, the more we will work out what we like, want & desire and .... don't. Bo has asked me to finish up by saying that the most important thing is that we stay connected as a couple, do what feels great and respect our boundaries no matter what. We have a strong, trusting relationship and we talk about things as they arise. It's not about the other couple so much as it is about us.
  5. Thanks so much for your input and support. Exactly what I needed to hear. I adore njbm's statement that you can only be a virgin twice - non lifestyle & lifestyle. I got a big chuckle about that. And yep, it's pretty straight forward - move on if it's not for me / him / us. Try again if it's sub par. But ... We just have to dive into the pond. It's true re the story we've been told all our lives (as you said jandkinboise)... one man, one woman - in the hetero-normative world that is - if not for life, then at least in a 'serial monogamy' kind of way. I kind of aspired to 'lifetime together' like my parents - my beautiful mum died a few months ago a week shy of her & dad's 60th wedding anniversary - but I was realistic that it may not / would not happen for me. But it was still 'one woman / one man'... sexually ... even if not for a lifetime any more. Fidelity has meant that you do not look elsewhere - ever, at all - rather than it being something negotiated on a case by case basis. Until my husband, who I met in my 40s, I had not really thought about sharing with others. I could respect that as a choice for other people - absolutely - and I could admire it even. But I didn't consider it for me/us. Until recently. Re the jealousy part, I guess it stems from my having experienced sexual infidelity from my first long relationship - i.e. plain old lying and telling me I was insane to even think he would do that - and emotional infidelity from my second long relationship - just as hurtful. There is transparency, negotiation and trust between my love (my third & last long term, serious relationship) and I though - which is the only way I could consider this journey with him. So, perhaps my jealousy stems from that? But as my dear old dad just said "I dwell in the past - but only on happy memories. I never dwell on unhappy memories". God he's awesome. And it's true that there aren't any negatives really - I have a supportive husband we have great communication and A LOT of trust. It made me feel a lot better somehow reading that my hubby is similar to you jandkinboise - that you are also the one softly prodding but your wife, like me, always enjoys herself. It's so wonderful to hear about your pride in your wife too - because that is exactly what my love says when he's fantasizing about it all - "I'm going to feel so proud of you ..." etc. We haven't really talked about explicit boundaries yet though. I kinda wish we did that before now because it's not long til we meet this couple. But I think the only thing we need to negotiate is whether we will do soft swap only up to oral or will we just say "do what you like". I am interested to know whether anyone keeps kissing just for your partner? Oh. The other thing that worries me - for our first time it is a bit confronting because we are meeting them in the bar in their hotel then going upstairs to fuck. Hubby & I had previously agreed that we would meet someone for coffee / a drink and then go home, talk about it etc., then meet them another time if we were comfortable. But this couple lives in separate states and he is only in Sydney for Sunday night ... But. I know ... We can always have a drink and then leave if it's too much. Soooooo ... It's late morning here in Australia now & we've got about 7 - 8 hours to go. Hubby & I are not together - I'm visiting family but I'm leaving very soon for the 2 hour drive back to Sydney. We've just talked - I wrote the original post last night and he saw it this morning before I got a chance to tell him about it. He said he's thrilled I wrote to you all. He's nervous too. Of course he is. Assuming we do go up to the couple's hotel room from the bar we think we will just start by getting it on with each other - "to connect into our own bubble" as he put it - with them beside us and get into our "slutty mode" and then take it from there. Soooooo... We haven't had sex for a few days. Hubby is storing his cum he says & I can tell he is getting excited. Nervously excited like me. I want him to call me on my drive and start warming me up... He's great with that - he's very vocal and sexy. And ... oh my oh my he's a wonderful lover - did I mention that? lol. I am incredibly fortunate (and he reckons he is incredibly fortunate to be with me) and I want to feel excited that she is lucky to be lent my lover for an evening. I am not sure how I feel about the other chap - whether I'm attracted to what I've seen in the photos - but his partner says he's a very warm, very kind and very sexy chap. So that's good ... I am starting to feel nervously excited too. I'd better get in the car & get driving... the journey begins. I'm going back about 3 decades to when I first lost my virginity... Butterflies...... xxxxx
  6. Default First time this weekend - really nervous Hi everyone, It's my first post. Go gently... I am the female half of a couple & I have very limited exposure to swinging. My partner has some experience as a lone guy but not with a partner. I have barely any experience - once with a couple years ago. My partner & I have ventured into swinging probably more because he has expressed himself through fantasies when fucking and I feel he is probably more into it than me -or maybe it's more that he's less nervous. Or seems it. Certainly he has been much more proactive about it than me - joining swinging websites, contacting people. At times I felt he was galloping ahead and had to ask him to slow down a bit. He was usually great about that though and is open and receptive to feedback 99% of the time. We have really terrific communication & a lot of trust. And I AM curious & wanting to experiment. I mean, I am not a push over just going along with whatever he wants .... It's just probably him gently pushing it not me. Which is a good thing - I can be a 'nervous Nelly' but I always wind up enjoying our sexual adventures. We have a wonderfully sexy life together, he is an incredible lover - fabulously generous but happy to let me spoil him. A giver and receiver. Perfect. Frankly I am concerned with the old 'j' word - jealousy. I mean I feel confident in his love for and loyalty to me. And I really WANT to be turned on by seeing him happy and turned on. I guess it's just so culturally alien to me - to encourage my partner to be sexually involved with another woman - even just temporarily. But. We've set the date - Sunday 23/10/16 (Sydney, Australia time). I've spoken to the female member of the couple & she seems really friendly & easy to talk to. They're more experienced than us (which is not hard lol - well me anyway) & she reassured me that we can stop at any time if I / we feel weird or just want to. They will totally understand. So that's great. It's just ... I'm pretty scared. What if my partner really loves it & I don't and he wants to continue with swinging and I don't? He reassures me that this is a journey about and for 'us' - he doesn't want to go it alone. I believe him but I feel strongly that I wouldn't want to stand in the way of this beautiful man's sexual expression. I am probably getting ahead of myself... it may wind up that we both love swinging and have lots of great adventures together. Or even that I love it & he doesn't so much. He tells me he's also nervous about seeing me with another man... Funnily enough we went to a swingers club - my beautiful man arranged it - and I was very relaxed fucking in front of other people and my love found it hard to get into, he felt very distracted. I had a pretty great time & he didn't like it so much - so that was interesting. Somehow I felt 'safe' with lots of other people around fucking - but ..... nobody else was invited to join us. Being with another couple in a hotel room feels much much more intimate & 'exposed' than screwing with lots of other people around doing the same. God. So what is my question? Forgive me if this has been written about elsewhere but how did people feel seeing their partner interact sexually with another person for the first time? Was it an internal battle? Did it get easier with time? Did you just ... in the heat of it all just let go of all that 'mundane' jealousy (I've been a bit hard on myself thinking I should somehow be more enlightened ... ). My ultimate goal would be to feel thrilled that my beautiful fella is enjoying himself so much & hope that he doesn't feel 'triggered' by me with another man.. And. Of course my goal will include my enjoying it as much as I did at the Swingers club last month. Any musing, support, thoughts will be greatly appreciated. The clock is ticking (21 hours 33 minutes but who's counting? Lol) and as we get closer I'm getting more and more nervous. I will let everyone know how we get on. Thanks in anticipation
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