Night_creature

Thanks for all the kind words and constuctive answers

Thanks for all the replies I don't know if there are certain things that trigger my reactions. Or if it's going to be triggered at all. Thankfully my bf and me have talked about this, and will continue doing so. We have discussed ways to look out for each other, and in what kind of situations we might need an out.

Obviously I'm not gonna lead anyone on 'for the fun of it' When I have cold feet I know I should stop. But it's the feeling of being a let down that I struggle with.

This is an issue for me in the literal and the non-literal sense. I have a low blood pressure, my so extremities tend to get fairly cold, quite quickly. But that is not why I opened this thread. Due to bad memories and bad experiences it takes me a while to get around to sex. One on one is not really a problem, but the next adventure is not going to be one on one, otherwise I wouldn't be here I'm 'afraid' that I might get cold feet during playtime, before sex. I'm one hell of a tease, can't get enough of making my BF crazy, and I don't think I'll have much issues with doing that to another man. But getting a man horny tends to create expectations. And I'm sure that everyone will assure me that no is no, even halfway. But that doesn't take away the feeling of being a letdown when I say no, just when things start coming around to sex. Has anyone dealt with something like this? Being the man let down, or the woman saying no? Or the other way round?

I think that for me this is one of the hardest things to accept. In the past I have had quite a few of bad experiences with men who didn't respect my boundaries, and saying no. It has gotten easier over time, but it is still one of my biggest insecurities. I mean, I might be fine one minute, getting into things, but when things start to heat up, suddenly my mood might change and I want to get out. How to deal with something like this? (should I open another thread for this question to get more answers on how to deal with a situation like this? )

We have looked at a few of those meet and greets, and they are usually on the other side of the country, or on Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday.. And those are exactly the days that we're not together so we can't go. But we'll just keep looking, I'm sure eventually something will come up on a day that's good for us. And we don't want to go too fast, so maybe it's better that it's taking a while to find something that suits us.

Hello! I figured I might as well jump in with a question which I am sure many have asked before, and many will ask again. Bf and me are very new to this, and very curious. We have been discussing a lot of possibilities, options, things we like to try some time, and things we'd rather not try (yet). But then you start talking about the next step. How and where, and what? We think we'd like to try to go to a club, but there isn't much in the middle of Holland. What do you look for in a club, or did you have your first experience somewhere else? And what did you wear? And what happened that first time? If we get around to going to a club, we plan on just having a look, get a feel for the atmosphere (and maybe some people ) and we'll see what happens. Any tips after this too long post?