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ErosSexyTourGui

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  • Content Count

    6
  • Joined

Community Reputation

17 Good

About ErosSexyTourGui

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 10/11/1963

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Single Female
  • Location
    Seattle
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. Thank you! This thread has been great. I was reluctant to post anything and I am glad I did. All of you have been so helpful and kind. He is a great guy. I didnt go to the NYE party because I was still upset and I didn't want to bring it others at the party. However, we are talking and starting over, with hopefully, clear communication.
  2. Thank you all for your replies! I would like to ask a follow up question, I thought swinging was about communication and honesty, not cheating and lies? If your partner didn't tell you about a relationship he was having for months because of how you would take it, would that be okay with you? Uodate: he set up a counseling appointment. He wants me to go to the NYE swinging parry tonight at a hotel. He wants me to act like nothing happen until we see a counselor.
  3. Thank you for your post. I like the way you think.
  4. I met a guy in the LS 13 months ago. Background: I have been in the LS for 6 yrs and he a couple of years. We can talk about almost anything but when it comes to setting rules, we suck. He told me I can see anyone I want, I told him I was working on the mixed messages I seem to put out and as we were getting more solid as a couple in the LS I was feeling more at ease. He knows I have play partners that I see outside of the two if us. I have been honest about everything and every one in my life since the beginning. When we first met we immediately clicked. We even told each other everyone we were seeing at that time. We had some up and downs the first four months. We started getting serious in September and spending a lot of time together. We started going to swinging events, clubs, hotel takeovers, houseparties and making many friends in the LS. We get along really well. Our friends and family think we are good for each other. He asked me to think about moving in with him. Last week he told me he needed to go see his dad about buying a car. He was acting strange and my gut told me something was up. The next day he asked me to go to Hawaii with him in February and we planned the trip. We went through the holidays with my gut screaming. The day after x-mas, I asked him, you didn't go to your dads, did you? He said no, he went to an exgirlfriends to drop off something, then shopping, then out for thai food with someone. Who? Someone he needed to break up with because he wants to be with just me. How long had this been going on? 10 months, started back during our ups and downs. I freaked, told him I couldn't do this, he lied to me, hurt me and I could never trust him again. I asked him to leave his house while i packed my stuff. He begged me not to do this. He wants only me in his life. I told him that every time he turned away from me with his phone or said he was going somewhere I wouldn't believe him. That I couldn't do this. I told him to leave his house, called my best friend and daughter to pack me up while I got sick and cried uncontrollably. He has since texted me asking me to reconsider about not going on the Hawaii trip. He told me he was with the other women about ten times and he knew she wanted more but he wanted what we had. I have since talked with a good friend of mine, she runs a swingers club that we both volunteer for. She told me that we were good for each other, she asked me if I love him, told me she knows he cares for me and she feels he didn't think he deserved me. That he doesn't think he deserves to have a healthily relationship. Some men self sabotage things when things are too good. She told me that she thinks we should go to counseling to work on issues or atleast have closure. That it would be good for me too because if I love him, it might be worth a try or maybe I would learn something about myself. I wrote to him and he said he wanted to suggest that but he figured I was done with him. Yes, he would go. I told him, "I do not know what will come from it. I do know I love you. Don't know if that is even enough. I do know If you are ever going to be completely honest with yourself and me, now is the time." He agreed. I told my daughter and she is furious and I don't even want to know what my best friend is going to say. I might be wrote off from her. She was really angry. She feels that I tip toe around him. She says he is a lier and a cheater. I am so confused now. Can therapy make a difference? I know I can't change him. He wasn't going to tell me about her. He IS a lier and a cheater. Do couples come back from this? What about if he was completely transparent? What if the rules were clear? Thank you, signed hopeful in Seattle
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