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SA_NewtoLS

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SA_NewtoLS last won the day on February 28 2017

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About SA_NewtoLS

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    Swingers Board Addict
  • Birthday 12/17/1980

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    M. Male
  • Location
    San Antonio, TX
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx

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  1. Curious, how well does that work out for you? Our first experience was great for me, but my wife did not really have a great time, he didn't even let her suck his dick and barely even fucked her, mostly just ate her out the whole time and I had to go fuck her while he then did not even fuck his wife, just ate her too. He never even took his underwear off. She was willing to give it a second chance, because I had fun and she did enjoy watching, but I kinda felt like that was asking her to take one for the team, so we decided against it. Plenty of people willing to actually give it to her out there, so why give them a second chance?
  2. Just because you can have sex at the club does not mean you have to. Just let any couples you meet know that you are looking for friends first right up front. On our second trip to the club we met a couple who let us know right away they were not there to play that night but were interested in getting to know us. We chatted for a few minutes but let them know we were there to play tonight, with another couple we had met previously. We swapped numbers and plan to meet up with them again soon. You don't have to think of it as a place for sex, just a place to meet like-minded people.
  3. Gotta remember too, some of them may just be pic collectors. Just a male, with the female half not a real person, and they were only talking to you to get photos. Once they get them, they may continue to chat more, to try to get more pictures, but when they realize that is not going to happen, they just say sorry, you don't seem to be right for us and they are gone. They obviously can not give you the real reason. There also seem to be lots of people online who just go online and talk to others for a thrill but, despite what they may say, they have no real intention of ever meeting up with you. Don't take online rejection to heart. We just chalk it up to them being fakes or flakes and move on. Much better luck at the club than online. Our very first experience was actually the first couple we talked to online. However, after that, no luck at all online, despite having conversations with several couples and even moving some over to kik and having ongoing chats. Nothing turned in to a meeting.
  4. Yeah, I am sure my daughter will eventually figure it out. She's really smart. In first grade reading at nearly a 4th grade level, highest marks possible and teacher never has anything but great things to say about her. Of course, since she is so young, maybe by the time she's a teen it will just be normal to her that we go out once or twice a month and she'll never question it. Either way, we will not volunteer the information unless directly asked. She knows she can ask us anything already, so I am positive it will come up at some point, but we'll deal with that when it happens.
  5. They thought that because their kids had anxiety issues it would be better to tell them then not tell them? That seems backwards to me. That's just one more reason to not tell them. Why does my daughter need to know anything more than, "We are going out on a date night." If they have anxiety issues or not, it doesn't matter, that's something you would tell them even if not in the lifestyle and if that really was all you were doing. So just tell them that and carry on. I agree with what others have said, It really depends a lot on age and maturity of the child. My daughter is 6, so it's really hard for me to really understand the situation, as I have not been there. I still do no think we will ever tell my daughter unless she is in her 20s and has suspicions and asks us. I would not lie to her when asked a direct question like that, but no way would I bring it up. If the question was simply what are you guys doing tomorrow when you go out, then yeah, not gonna volunteer any additional information. Just, "we're playing it by ear, gonna go grab something to eat and then decide." No reason she needs to know any more than that.
  6. At the club I have seen people with some scars from the same type of thing and in other places as well, including C-Section scars and stretch marks on women, on the side, where I would venture to guess a kidney was removed or added, and other various scars. The only reason I saw the scars was because they were playing in the group/voyeur room where they were playing with others and plenty of people were enjoying watching, so it didn't seem to bother anyone and I can say with certainty it would not bother my wife or me. It may bother some people, then again, your personality may bother some, or the way you dress, or any number of things. Almost no matter what, you can likely find someone accepting of your situation or someone else in your situation. Not a thing to worry about really.
  7. Well, sadly, wife ended up throwing her back out Saturday while I was out running errands. She was hurting so obviously, no trip again this weekend. Oh well, maybe next weekend. On another note though, the pic has been approved and is up now.
  8. I did forget about the photo section. I just think about this as a place to talk to people and kinda use this thread to log our adventures. I guess for those reading it some pics would be nice. Nothing sexy up there yet, but I added one of us dressed up nice before our firrt trip to the club for you.
  9. Well, our clubs theme this Saturday is "Little Black Dress" and seeing as we just purchased two new little black dresses for my wife and they got here Monday, we took that as a sign we are supposed to go to the club this Saturday so are going to make it happen no matter what it takes.
  10. IMO, that falls just short of a soft-swap, very close but not quite there. Soft-swap is where you basically swap for foreplay, but don't actually have sex with the other spouse. Definitely a great first step towards swinging, but if there was not any contact with the other spouse, not quite swinging. Definitely a great experience and sounds very exciting though.
  11. It was years ago, before my wife and I had ever even really seriously considered getting in to the lifestyle. We had discussed threesomes here and there, but never really seriously talked about it. As for the guy, well, once he and his wife made a move on my best friend and he started to tell everyone about it, the guys family found out. They owned a large portion of land just outside of town and while his parents lived in the main house at the front of the property, he lived in another house at the back of the property. They kicked him off the land. He stood his ground, explained why he did not see anything wrong with it and why it was really none of their business. Having no place to live, they turned to his wife's family, who let her move in, but not him. So he was literally out on the streets. Then his co-workers found out somehow and he was treated much differently at work and ended up losing his job. I was not that close to him, more a friend of a friend of a friend kind of deal. His wife was also my wife's sister's boyfriends cousin. One of those small world kinda things. But neither of us really knew either of them very well. Perhaps he could have handled things differently, I don't really know. Either way, it has scared me shitless about getting outed the way my best friend reacted and then everyone else I knew. I actually do not associate with any of those people anymore, except my best friend, who also felt terrible about telling everyone after he found out what happened. He is still not a person I would share secrets with as when this guy gets high or drunk all sorts of things come out. He's been sober for a few years now, but that has been the case before as well, so no telling if he will relapse again or not. Sorry to kinda hi-jack this thread with this information, but I guess it is kinda relevant.
  12. I'm with bb and JandK. Now sure, I would not want my vanilla friends to find out about this at all, but if I run in to them AT a swinger event, well, they are not exactly vanilla friends are they? Keep in mind, I am VERY VERY paranoid about friends finding out. It happened to a guy I know and it destroyed his life so bad he ended up commuting suicide less than a year later, so I am probably more paranoid than most about getting outed. I still probably would not play with them, but wouldn't mind them knowing as I know they do it to. They would have to out themselves to out me anyway. I'm not gonna go announcing this stuff to my neighbors or co-workers, but if I run into them at a place only swingers go, no big deal.
  13. My wife has pretty severe social anxiety as well. Luckily, the mood in the club is pretty chill and that helped tremendously. After being there not that long, she was the one who wanted to go back to the play room, not me. You don't have to talk to people, just go early sit and chill. At out club at least, they open at 9 but things don't really get going until about 11. So go at 9 when it's slow, grab a table and leave if it gets too crowded for you. That was our plan, we ended up not leaving until we were getting kicked out though. What do you wear? Whatever! I saw people there in suits and ties, in bras and panties, in jeans and t-shirts, slacks and polos, revealing dresses, lingerie...all types were pretty much covered. Just wear whatever you are comfortable in. For me, no, watching all that sex is not weird, it really turns me on. If it's weird for you though, simply do not go back to the play areas. They are sectioned off from the main areas. No phones and stuff allowed back there either. Depending on the club, some do not allow any clothing at all back there, but not at ours. Here, you can go back there fully clothed and just watch if you want, as long as curtains are open and you don't linger in the semi-private area too long. If you are uncomfortable watching others have sex, you don't have to go back there. If you are uncomfortable having sex in front of others, don't go back there! Just use it as a place to meet people and if you ever do change your mind, the play area is still there. Honestly, to me anyway, it sounds like you are more scared of the play area then the actual club, but in your mind it is not a separate place. Be scared of the play area all you want, that's where all the things you are saying you are scared of or weirded out by are happening. Just don't go back there your first few visits, or at all, until you are comfortable with it. Stick to the main area which has none of what you are worried about. As far as people looking at you and wanting to play with you...don't know what to say there. For us that's a turn on. However, at our club, at least in the main area, people are not staring at you. You may catch someone glancing your way now and then, but really, IMO, it's no different then looking around the room at a restaurant. Yeah, you occasionally see someone glancing your way, but most people are minding their own business, dancing or talking to the people they are there with. So far, other than the couple that approached us in the play room(only because we left curtain open) and one other couple, who really just the wife said hi to my wife, we have not had people staring at us or otherwise bothering us in the least. As for people finding you lacking, you have to go to see there are a wide variety of people there of all shapes and sizes. Yeah, you may not be attractive to some, but to others I can almost guarantee you will be. Myself for example, there were some ladies there, you know the type, super skinny model type, skin and bones. I find that sickening myself, but they seemed to be getting a fair amount of attention, people just saying hi and chatting a bit as they passed. Different people have different tastes. There will always be some that do not find you lacking, that's a fact of life, sorry. It will not be everyone though, I can promise you that. Keep in mind though, this is the club in my city, yours may be different. Don't take this as me trying to get you to go either, I am just trying to let you know, it's likely not what you are envisioning in your head.
  14. People watching us just made it better for us. When people would stop and watch, she take my dick even further down her throat to show off, or I would give it to her a little extra hard, because people were watching. Big turn on for us, but different people are different. As far as parties, that's another great thing about the club, it's a great place to meet people. Just because you meet people there does not mean you need to play there, but it is a great way to meet people in the Lifestyle and just hang out with them. Yeah, both times we have gone we ended up having sex, but we saw plenty of other people who did not. They were just there, mingling, talking to other people and then left by themselves. So you can meet other people there and if you click, they may invite you to a house party or something, or let you know of one they heard about or something, and then you have already gotten to know them since you met them at the club and either did or did not already play with them. Long and short, and I know this from reading here and tlaking to people at the club, most people expectations of the club is that it's a place there only for the sex and it's one giant orgy or something. That's not the case at all. Both times we went, most of the people there did not go back to the play rooms and most had all their clothes on as well, with quite a few just dressed normally, not even extra sexy or anything. That's not to say there were not plenty of women walking around in bra and panties and plenty of people in the play rooms playing, just that it's not most. Most are just there to hang out and meet other like-minded people. We have had 2 different couples tell us straight out they are not there to play at all, just meet people. Don't go to the club expecting to have sex, even with each other. Just go expecting to have a good time and meet people. If the mood strikes you, you can have sex with each other of course and if you meet the right couple and things click, great! Just don't go with that expectation at all. if you go with that expectation, it's going to make the nerves higher and make things more difficult for you.
  15. I did not think the club/party scene was for me either, but this is not really the same thing as a normal club/party. It's totally worth a visit. With people online, you are not even sure if they are really who or what they say they are. At the club, you are looking at them and know they are really a couple, not just a guy. You know what they look like, not what they may have looked like 5-10 years ago. You know they are at least interested(if not totally ready) in actually meeting other couples, not just teasing around and talking online. After spending so much time dealing with fakes and flakes online, it was very refreshing to go to the club and find actual real people looking for the same things we were. It's amazing and we are hooked, despite feeling exactly how you do right now.
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