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BuiltForSin

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BuiltForSin last won the day on October 14 2017

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About BuiltForSin

  • Rank
    Active Contributor
  • Birthday 11/24/1979

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Boise, ID
  • Swinging Experience
    2 Years
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx

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  1. It usually goes away after a few encounters. I think from the teenage years on men work at not getting hard in public situations as it is *extremely* embarrassing. It's difficult to turn that off. Our first few club adventures this happened and on or last two it happened for the other guy and it sparked a conversation - pretty much every male had it happen the first time in public or group situations...
  2. We've been on SLS for about three years now (the year in-between we took off so really two years) In that time there has not been very few new people on SLS that are actually active... In fact after taking a year off there was almost nobody that was new and active (but almost all the previous people were still there). We tried other sites and they were virtually dead for our area. We do hear hints of KIK groups but I'm not going to spend my time wading through KIK groups. There are a few couples we enjoy but we are not that active locally. Most of our activity is going out of town to a club for a weekend and now trying cruises and planning to attend hotel takeovers. I think this is going to be how we operate going forward.. A few of the local group events and for actually playing doing an out of town club/hotel takeover/etc every month or two. It's more money but less of a time investment.
  3. Everyone has their own comfort zones. The area you play in is where you and your wife's comfort zones overlap. This is sex, you are allowed any hangups without having to feel guilt as long as you don't push those hangups on others. The easy solution seems to be finding other couples or playing separately (or at least your wife doing her thing on her own and getting with you later). If you are hoping to get comfortable with MFM think the only thing that will help is time and maybe a little forethought into what positions work best in an MFM and the usual things of turning the lights down low and building a little bit of camaraderie with the guy beforehand - that way its the two of you working on her as opposed to your and your wife trying to work with him if that makes sense.
  4. We visited Club Privata a couple of weeks ago.. Here is their stated dress code: Men: Casual Slacks, Designer Jeans, Dress Kilts (no utili-kilts) Collared Button Down Shirt, Pull-Over Collared Shirt, Dress Shoes, Designer Boots or Upscale Modern Comfort Shoes. NO t-shirts, NO exceptions. Women: Sexy, Flirty, Sassy!…Skirts, Slacks, Designer Jeans, Booty Shorts, Lingerie, Dresses, Blouses, Halters, Hose & Heels, Sexy Stilettos & Flats, Thighs & Boots...whatever makes you feel sexy & sassy. The expectations are a bit different
  5. Because men are trying (at least the ones that make the effort) to convey a masculine sense of "sexy" where as the the items you mentioned is more applying the traditional feminine sexy to a male body.. Nothing is 100% but for who the hetro male is trying to impress that Borat bikini generally isn't going to work beyond being a joke. I'd be happy if we could just keep the flip flops and shorts out of our local clubs.
  6. We had a large place near us that held regular parties up until about a year ago. They had beds (rooms) that were off limits to squirters and rooms that were not - presumably those had some protection added to the mattresses.
  7. It depends. If the message is basically "Sup?" or something similar then no.. Otherwise sure.
  8. It's been popping up more and more in profiles on SLS. We tried kik. Its great for endless texting and wasting time.
  9. Sorry for you are going through, been through a divorce in the past and it was a horrible horrible experience. Here is the thing - you need to look a little broader rebuilding your social life. I understand the appeal of swinging to single guys but the reality is unless you are really into MFMs you are better off at "normal" singles venues. Single men in the LS are treated like dirt. They are not allowed into events and clubs. When they are allowed in they pay much more, get the riot act read to them upon arrival, are not allowed into certain areas and are treated as guilty until proven innocent if anything happens. Things that were just fine as a couple and don't even register if you are a female will get you marked as a creep and have people flipping out on you. On top of this nobody *nobody* really cares if you have any fun or your needs are met in any encounter, you are just supposed to be grateful to be included. Is this really what you want to be doing while rebuilding your social life?
  10. We generally avoid couples with bi males and if I'm being totally honest it is because I've had several people at meets whisper into mine and separately into my wives ear about couples where the male is bi and to "watch out." If you then play with them you are so marked. I'm sure it is not universal but for the largish groups here the whisperers have been exclusively the straight females (or their husbands). Having said that there was a thread on reddit a year or so ago with a group of bi men complaining about being avoided by couples with straight men when they were perfectly capable of playing it straight. Then later on in this very same same thread they started going on about how they had done things on purpose to make the straight male uncomfortable during play and laughing about it - started up by the same person who first complained that straight men avoid them. As to the OP's question: If you are uncomfortable with the situation don't do it, you don't have to justify it.
  11. DDF - Drug and Disease Free not to be confused with DTF - Down to Fuck
  12. This has happened to me twice. The first time was at our third Party. The first two parties were fun and we fooled around but did not go farther than that. The third party my wife grabbed my hand and ran into the orgy room. The male/female ratio was about even but within a couple of minutes three of the guys left and it was two guys. I laid down on the bed and had three women working me, all very pretty.. and NOTHING. I've never had an issue getting hard its always just happened. I excused myself to go to the bathroom and just starred at myself in the mirror having no idea what to do and had a small freak out. I went back out and tried again but no luck. The second time was at club Privata. This was our first encounter since the incident above and it was playing on my mind.. This was a straight swap and the woman was a little uptight that I was not ready to go form the start and honestly so was I... I took some time off after that. Since getting active again it has not happened. When we go out my wife and I will play a little bit (just your basic heavy breathing and rubbing/dry humping stuff) that usually gets be going for a few minutes and once it has gone up for the night it seems to return much more easily after that if we do bump funnies with a new couple. The hard part is you have to not stress and try to live in the moment without trying not to stress and living in the moment. So yeah probably not her - but the first incidence may be the reason for the second.
  13. Very very regional. For our area SLS is where there are active swingers, meets are posted, etc. Two hundred miles south most of the people use Swingular and SLS is a ghost town. We have lifetime accounts on these two sites. We were paying members of Kasidie until a few months ago, it was never great for our city but it was decent for the Portland area that we like to visit. Much of the active swingers in Portland are now in private facebook groups.. You are in Kansas, not idea what is popular there. You are going to need to create profiles on several sites and see where the people are at for your area. I would start with SLS (most popular overall) and SDC (popular in Texas, closest location to Kansas that I know what page is popular). Good luck.
  14. A very friendly spoken innocent sounding question to the husband should make the situation clear: "Oh! Are you not allowed to play with others?"
  15. No.. The risk is lower and we choose to take that risk. Kissing is a risk, hell touching involves risk.. Not all risks are the same. If you decide that the risk of unprotected oral is too high and don't want to play with us we understand. If you decide to do oral but only with dental damns that is also your choice - we will not try to change your limits into ours - we just won't be doing oral with you Everyone is free to go sans condom. We are free to think that risk is to high and avoid those people. That is our choice, that is our line where the risk is no longer worth the reward.
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