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tj680

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About tj680

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 02/16/1973

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    California
  • Occupation
    Technology Business Professional
  • Swinging Experience
    New
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx

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  1. Thank you all that have read and posted their thoughtful responses to this question. My apology for the delayed response, but vanilla life has a way of intruding and taking priority over the fun things in life. Wifey and I have been talking about playing after the second date while she is still hesitant she has at least agreed to consider it. Thank you GoldCoCouple, your suggestion of same room sex with your own partner as a potential starting point was a lot of help. She was more comfortable with that idea. We will continue to talk and discuss things as we gain more experience. Again thank you everyone for your thoughtful comments
  2. Hello, many of you play on first dates and many of you don’t. My wife is adamant about not playing on first date, in fact she prefers to wait until after 3-4 meetings. We had discuss this at length when we first got started 3 yrs ago and we didn’t want to just jump into bed with total strangers. We wanted to get to know them a little, primarily as a means to understand their risk propensity. I am finding that a lot of couples are not willing to wait 3-4 meetings, what are your thoughts and recommendations?
  3. If you FB or telegram chat app you can ping us directly for more help/ guidance. Hinduism has no prohibition on swinging! All the taboo/prohibition comes from western culture.

     

    Our FB ID is funcplcali

  4. Fullswapclt, chiccouplexx and goldcocpl; thank you all for your response! So the “no play on first date” doesn’t bother me at all, I think that it helps filter people. Slowing things down was initially our way of ensuring the other cpls were safe and disease free. We know that a lot of couples in the lifestyle don’t test let alone share test results. So the best alternative was to get to know them a little, understand their play profile and practices and see if they are being careful and playing safe. We have been talking about this fairly regularly and she has come a long way (she comes from a very conservative family and upbringing). I guess I was hoping there was a way to bring out her adventurousness out. BTW Goldcocpl - we don’t take 6 months to get naked ?!!
  5. Jane, i have adhered to this very motto, and while I am not looking to completely do away with the no play on first dates, I am looking to be a little more adventurous and open minded.
  6. Thank you for your thoughtful response. Not sure that she is ready to drop the no play on first date, in fact I am not sure that I want to drop that rule. But i do want us to be able and willing to move a bit faster.
  7. Background: My wife and I got started roughly 3.5 yrs ago with our first exp. Our first exp more or less found us vs us going out looking for it. Our friends introduced us to the lifestyle and they helped convince my wife to give it a try and led to our first full swap. It took me another yr to convince her to meet with local cpls. And another yr after that before our first srsp date. 6 months later we had our first full swap (the same couple we met for srsp). We have since had a 3sum with each wife (MFM). So in the 3.5 yrs we been with 2 cpls (2nd cpl :- a srsp, a full swap, and a three-sum with each wife(mfm)). Currently, our process involves finding a potentially compatible couple thru one of the websites (SLS, ....). And meeting them for drinks or dinner, we don’t play on first dates. We try to get to know them a bit. I am fine with most of this but I don’t think too many couples have the time or the inclination for this. Question: How do I encourage my wife to speed up our process? looking for suggestions.
  8. Having played with our friends - we vote don’t do it!!!! It can and does lead to complications. It’s not about bonding or jealousy but things will and do get weird and it is not predictable!
  9. Thanks - you guys always give great sagely advice! Much appreciated. TJ
  10. Having had sex with our long time real friends, I would certainly advice to tread very very carefully - there are no u-turns. We have had difficulty & things have been stressful ever since - however, we are trying to patch things up and hopefully we are on the path to recovery but only time will tell. If we had to do it over again - I would take a different path!
  11. Thank You - very encouraging! Sorry about the late response - have been away from this site for a while.
  12. So need advice to help wife overcome one final question. She ask the following question "Why do I need to swing? I am happy with what I have!" A bit of back ground - we have one experience so far - a full swap with a known couple. It happened as we were planning a vacation and the vanilla vacation was revised to be our introduction. Over the course of a week we escalated our play culminating in a full swap in the same room. The exp overall was good but not great. She has clearly indicated that she would play with them again. A large part of the issue is the strangers vs known couple element. We have been on several dates, but most cpls don't want to invest the time to get to know each other before playing. Suggestions or responses to the question? Thanks for your help.
  13. Hi Tj

     

    would like to check if everything is ok with you guys experience

  14. HI TJ

     

    Sorry to respond super late. we have been bit occupied and were not visiting this page quite often. we started in this lifestyle seriously last year and so far so good and w ehave been enjoying. pls feel free to ask if u have anything in midn

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