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findinganswers

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findinganswers last won the day on December 30 2021

findinganswers had the most liked content!

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About findinganswers

  • Rank
    Swingers Board Addict
  • Birthday 10/06/1974

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    NYC
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx

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  1. We play with the same small group primarily with one of our friends being more aggressive. I once asked if he was hurting the women never hearing any complaints. It made me become somewhat more forceful too.
  2. Is a hot tub ever safe? We have a hot tub at the gym that I loved. It was my gift time after a hard workout so relaxing. No sex fluid just sweat. 😩. I wondered how often they cleaned it even though I could smell the chlorine. My mind went in the wrong direction so I stopped using the hot tub. Playing sexually in a public tub never crossed my mind, sex in a private hot tub, a friend’s jacuzzi, six friends naked having drinks is something else.
  3. Why do we men are more interested in dick size from the women. The first time i was with a girl I worried if I was big enough or smaller. I wondered what she would tell her girlfriends or if if girls talked about it. I found out they do talk schoolgirl talk. Guys bragged about who they fucked and girls talked what fucked them. I got married and we didn’t talk size even if I wondered how I measured up. Swinging for years now I still wonder what the other guys have, again she hardly ever mentions it. I asked her to be honest if size matters or if it ever mattered. She always said size doesnt unless…. I push her about Big Ones, I don’t know if she just said because she thought I wanted to hear she gets excited at larger then adds very few are that large. She doesn’t take a ruler to bed not needing to know exact size. On one occasion when dick size came up she learned way back how to measure without measuring. A few of her school friends were high talking about guys they knew and who had a big one. Her friend taught her a trick, her hand is 3” wide. I said a hand is 4”. She was right, her hand is just 3”. She said almost every guy she dated were two hands, a few had a dick head sticking out. I asked was anyone 3 hands, she said almost but not a full 3. She added she was able to wrap her hand around most too.
  4. Our friends are all about the same age, we did search for younger. I only took viagra to see what it does not because I need it. The women in our group are more concerned with hormone changes and hot flashes and lubrication, that’s life.
  5. As racist as this is the attraction to the unknown is real. Intellectually we know how wrong searching out a partner based on the BBC stereotype is, many white women have a fantasy and many men feed into what was that forbidden buck. Even answering here feels wrong with that expression. I feel guilty that we searched to fulfill a fantasy that is so wrong.
  6. We joined experienced friends when we were entering our 40s a time when we both felt secure in our sexuality. Now that I look back I’m not that secure in my memory or secure in watching my wife having sex with others and me worrying if I could keep up with others. Over time my insecurities faded while we experimented looking for new thrills pushing our own boundaries, I became more comfortable in myself and my fears. Now entering a new age decade,(midlife?) new fears have emerged. My wife entering into changes has scared her. We laugh off the inevitable changes that face us that go way further from greying. We are just like everyone else with changes in age and changes in bodies, how have all of you dealt with the inevitable?
  7. There is a gallery section where you there are “real” pictures.
  8. We have swing friends that were vanilla friends first so we know how to have vanilla fun with them often. Over the years our frequency of swinging went from constant to special times meaning it was so new to us that we couldn’t wait to get the sex going and it became a big focus of our friendship. What we learned was our friendship is much more, sex doesn’t have to happen to have fun.
  9. We have a special couple, the first couple, the couple we were friends with before ever thinking about swinging. The wife is my wife’s best friend. I trust them without question and enjoy being with them socially. We consider them Special just not our sole partners.
  10. Never thought about this as a gangbang in the true sense as it happened years ago in high school where a girl we all knew was screwing many guys at different times took one of my friends back to her parents apartment after school. Guys talk and the one guy told another guy to give him a half hour then come to the apartment. The word got out and a friend of mine coaxed me to go to the apartment too. By the time I got there I don’t know how many guys she was with before I got my 3 minutes. I remember seeing an empty box that had a dozen condoms when new. Over the next week it felt like most of the guys I knew said they were there. What amazed me looking back the girl came to school the next day. I still wonder how she was able to walk after those hours of plowing.
  11. We decided to have a first with friends my wife’s choice. Most will say to stay away from friends because it leads to hard feelings and loss of friendship and to find a stranger. We went the friend way and it has worked out fine for all of us. As a benefit I get to be with my wife’s best friend.
  12. Unfortunately many of us have been. Made me feel self conscious at times.
  13. I wouldn’t call any of our friends homophobic yet a male gay couple would be out of place at our get togethers.
  14. Vaginal sex can be very mechanical, oral takes more thought. Vaginal sex is mutual gratification, oral is one party pleasing the other.
  15. Your posting brought back troubling memories that i suppressed. I was very conflicted at the time with thoughts of why she was so interested in having sex with others. I couldn’t talk to anyone about my deep hurt and feeling of inadequacy I was feeling. I tried posting my thoughts looking for answers that I felt others would share. I found myself agreeing with the answers I wanted to accept and shun others that didn’t align with what I wanted. It took time to realize my fears that my wife having sex with others didn’t change our love or respect. I can now say to this group posting that I wanted to cry our first time I watched my wife willingly aggressively having sex. I tried to not see her as I also was having contact with our friend who was just aggressively taking my attention away from was happening just a few feet away. It is very difficult to express my honest feelings even now, years later. Good news is that my fears of what could have happened to our marriage were unfounded.
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