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adamszekely

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    5
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18 Good

About adamszekely

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 03/06/1987

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    couple
  • Location
    hudson valley
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. Thank you all for your responses. The reason I want a swinging relationship is because my situation right now is not a very satisfying one, where my wife treats me as I am a cheater and not trustworthy. Obvious for me now is that swinging is very far from accomplishment in my situation but my dream is that I will be in a relationship where me and my partner are so deeply connected to one another that the physical desires that come naturally would not interfere with the love we have. I think that traditional marriages are behind us and swinging is a natural evolution to a stronger and deeper relationship.
  2. This is very interesting what you just said because she is under the impression that I am somehow too good for her and that I can do much better. Also she mentioned that "if I disappear you would have me replaced in a second". This phrase explains a lot and it's very frustrating because I want to be with her and she wants to be with me BUT she is so afraid that I can do better than her that she destroys our relationship because of her imaginary fear that I will leave. The paradox though is that if she doesn't stop this destructive behavior she will succeed into pushing me away completely forcing me to leave her. Me leaving her, would translate in her mind as exactly what she "expected" this whole time. I recommended couples therapy as well and her reply was "we either get along or not, no therapy bs" which I find puerile. I guess I hoped that after we got married and we have a serious relationship she won't bug me with stupid childish jealousy crisis, but oh boy I was wrong... If anyone has any ideas on how to proceed, I would be grateful because unlike your case, I'm not sure I will last 10 years in this rhythm. It is clear to me now that I won't be able to bring anything related to swinging anytime soon.
  3. I don't think I can do it without her, I would feel guilty for cheating and is not even about the sexual act but about the experience of being in a room with married couples that are fine with doing this yet I am not even close to be able to ask her about it and be scandal free. I am not interested in this because of the sexual act alone, I think there's more than that. I hope you get what I mean, I don't know how to explain. Also, isn't it creepy when a single dude is wandering around the swinging club? I may be wrong, I have no idea how this works.
  4. The main thing she mentions is that I was still with my ex girlfriend which she knew about when we were first dating. I traveled overseas and I had in mind to cut ties with my 4 year girlfriend of the time and that's how I met my wife which I have been ever since. I never did anything stupid, always rejecting women who are hitting on me and I always told her that X or Y hit on me and so on but that doesn't seem to make any difference in her mind. Sometimes I searched on facebook for my EX and some other women I work with out of stupid curiosity to see how people live in USA and generally how people I work with are outside of work with no bad intentions behind it whatsoever, but she checked my facebook account (which I gave her my password in order to make things as transparent as possible) but she saw the searches and hell broke loose. (let me tell you that I never had a single time when I added some girl on facebook as a friend that she would not get weird and ask me stupid questions and in the next fight we have she would mention that I am interested in some random girl I added on facebook that I don't even remember doing it) She told me how all her boyfriends betrayed her in some way and since the beginning I was very firm about it and told her that I don't have to pay for other people's mistakes and I tried to make her understand that I won't tolerate being punished for what happened to her in the past but it doesn't seem to change anything. I am in an impasse and out of ideas of how to make her trust me and how to make her not check my phone or anything. I wonder myself many times what did I do wrong to make her so jealous and paranoid about me. I ended up with the conclusion that I am guilty of meeting her. P.S I am not from US, I live here now but my english can be challenging. I probably jumped ahead of time a little too much to swinging considering her issues about little things that can make someone jealous (like adding someone on facebook). It probably won't be anytime soon where I can come up with the approach of swinging. Funny thing is that my ex girlfriend was all OK about bringing a girl with us to play with but we never did because we couldn't find anyone. Problem is that I know her for 3 years now (living together for 2 and a half), and we are married for a year and I don't see any improvement coming from her, she keeps telling me how she has issues with men because all men in her life gave up on her (including her dads). What can I do about it, I told her she should seek therapy on the matter but she won't do anything about it.
  5. Hello, as the title suggests, I am very curious about the swinging life, I think it can offer a experience that everyone should feel in their lifetime but I have no idea how to approach this subject with my wife which is a little jealous (the kind of jealous that checks my computer when I get into the shower). I do not accept or accepted her behavior but I guess I am waiting for a change over the time? I don't know. Point is I want to try swinging and I am afraid that if I mention anything she would flip and it would make things even worse. Did anyone else had the same problem? How do you tell your partner about this? What options do I have in this situation? Right now, writing this, I feel like I am doing something wrong and if she knew what I was doing she would feel very betrayed. Am I betraying her by being curious about this? What should I do?
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