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rdywlngable

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15 Good

About rdywlngable

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 10/22/1969

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Florida
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. I'll try to keep this short....we started swinging about 3 years ago and have had some great encounters with other couples, mfm, and fmf. We've both had a lot of fun, and I've gone out of my way to make sure we are helping her accomplish her fantasies etc. Over the last year, she's been kind of hot & cold about the LS...parts of the month she thinks it's awesome, and others she can't understand why we even do it. It has become a tough roller coaster ride to endure to say the least. I've spent the better part of our 20+ year marriage doing all I can to make her happy...from dealing with her family....cleaning house...shopping, cooking, working etc. In return I've put up with someone who can't bother to put anything away...changes her mind back and forth about everything....providing me with 20 lousy birthdays and 16 shitty Fathers' Days. But I love her dearly....she is my soul mate. None of the negative things are ever done maliciously...it's kind of how she is...she's a tad ADHD and her parents weren't much for getting things done so she comes by it honestly. There are things in the LS I still want to try....and honestly I feel very at home with the people involved....I guess I'm kind of a perv in that way...but we stick together... She asked me the other night if we gave up the LS....would I want to go our separate ways...I honestly don't know. I know I'd miss her terribly....and it would hurt to see her or think about her. But...if we leave the LS...I know I will be very unhappy as well...and I don't know if she'd be able to live with me being that unhappy. Sexually...I have trouble getting to the finish line without thinking of something swinging related...and if we're not in it..I won't do that because that would be like sitting in a Ferrari every weekend despite never being able to own one...there's no real point. I'm really at a loss...no idea what to do. Does anyone have any experience with couples that were in a similar predicament? Did they stay married? Were they happy if so? I know it sounds selfish...that I'd be willing to give up our marriage so I can fulfill some of my fantasies, and have some fun...but at the same point... is it fair to stay unhappy, and possibly make her unhappy just to stay in the marriage? We saw a counselor and the counselor asked if she'd be ok if I stayed in the LS if she wanted to leave and it was a pretty quick... No. Even when I've discussed a few things I'd like to try with just the 2 of us...she typically forgets/ ignores....or whatever but it never happens. Sex is usually in the same order....She blows me for a few minutes... I go down on her for 30/40 min....we fuck for a while....maybe I'll go back down...maybe fuck again....and then when it's time for me to get mine...she just asks how do you want to do it? If I want her to jerk me off.....she loses rhythm and interest....she's tired...otherwise I jerk off and cum on her...and ask her to tell me a story...which she does from the point of view of what works for her ( despite my having asked dozens of times to tell it like I like it)....sometimes she starts to get herself off again...and I'm still just there waiting...and have to retreat into my own mind. I'm sure I'm not the easiest person to live with, and she has issues with me as well....You know...buying her flowers and clothes and stuff....how awful am I! Granted,, money has been tight and I should have maybe scaled it back....but for all I put in...and from what I get out....I guess I'm starting to answer my own question. Bottom line...I'll never love like I Have loved her again....I'll never trust anyone that completely...nor find someone as compassionate...and as hot.....but if she doesn't want to be in the LS anymore, and I'm certainly not going to force her....and I'm not sure I can be happy without it....what am I to do?
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