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benawyl

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About benawyl

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    Active Contributor
  • Birthday 11/09/1969

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  • Relationship Status
    M. Male
  • Location
    north carolina
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    xx/xx/xxxx

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  1. The point I was trying to make is that I'm not chomping at the bit to go play with new women like some of my male friends in the lifestyle. I don't have a burning drive to seek out play partners outside of maybe one FMF. If we are at an event and meet a couple and I'm feeling it sure I'll play. But I have just as much fun just going with my partner and lifestyle friends I don't play with and dancing and having fun. The other thing is group and public play is just not my preferred style. I prefer one on one separate room play when possible. That's the most enjoyable for me. I'm not bi. I'm not a voyeur so same room ads nothing for me personally. Now I do that in order to indulge others. I just sometimes find that more stressful than sexy. And I especially find performing in front of a large crowd where they are close enough that I can hear their comments like sports commentators to be difficult to focus and perform. So my current attitude is yes let's go play once in a while. Once a month or every 60-90 days or so. I don't really want regulars maybe 3 to 6 times a year max with the same couple. So a variety of couples probably would work. So I'd say I'd like this to be more of a hobby than a lifestyle. I've met a lot of cool people that I don't play with but enjoy seeing at events or clubs a few times a year and I've made good friends from an event where we get together or talk on a monthly basis.
  2. I know several people male and female who have told me personally they married young and never got to experience a variety of partners or that they had been married a long time and now divorced or widowed they want to see what they might have missed. You are right about one thing I don't get any satisfaction from my partner's pleasure with others. I want to give them their fantasies. And I would never in a million years say or think that any male or female in the lifestyle is doing it because they aren't happy with their partner. That would be terrible.
  3. I didn't introduce her to anything. It was her idea. Swinging was never a huge source of contention in my last relationship. It just wasn't some huge thrill for me. It was something I could take or leave. I had no intention of doing this with my current partner but she has some fantasies so I'm going to help her make them come true. There's a lot of difference between the two women. I think this might be a better experience.
  4. I haven't reluctantly put my penis in any play partner while swinging. If I fuck them I wanted to and I give them an incredible experience.
  5. Here's the deal and it's going to sound terribly arrogant. I don't have a huge need for this because I've fucked so many really hot women around the world that the chance to swing and fuck really hot women just isn't that big of a deal to me. I could see how it would be different for a guy with a low partner count who maybe got married young. It could be a chance to see what he may have missed. So there has to be a reason for me to play. There has to be something irresistible about the women where I say I need to try that. My current GF is really hot. All my GF are really hot so I have really high standards.
  6. I really don't know why you all think there was drama. I don't show any drama or have any types of discussions in front of others. All my play partners have a great time with me. I have tho since this thread started ended the relationship with this woman. She moved cross country I'm on the East Coast. I'm just not leaving my children for somebody. I helped her move and talk to her. She semi regrets leaving. She misses me and she really misses fucking me. But that was her choice and she has to live with it. So low and behold I meet another woman on a regular dating site. Hit it off great she wants sex three times a day with me we have even more in common than my last partner plus she's my age and not 13.5 yrs older than me. So the other day she drops the bomb on me saying hey we can get an extra girl. I'm bi. We talk further and I tell her about some of the things that's happened and good god she wants me to take her to clubs and parties. So I got a hold of a guy I know by reputation to make her MFM fantasy come true. Turns out his wife wants to do a full swap. So we'll see. I told her why don't we do the MFM and FMF first. See how it goes and then we can talk about couples. But we are getting inundated with emails already. Some from couples half our age so who knows. I told her I'm cool with it as long as it is an every now and then thing. I don't think it should be the focus of nor the fuel for our sex life together.
  7. The only things we've been to have been full weekend hotel takeovers and three clubs. Going into clubs I always assumed it would be everyone for themselves you find somebody and go play. What I've been experiencing is we only play together as a couple so it has to be a four way match. There have been multiple women at these places that wanted to have sex with me but it wasn't a four way situation. I'm getting the impression that most guys won't let their wife just go off and play. One of the clubs we go to is a private residence with only 30-60 couples at a time so I guess you could call it a house party and club at the same time.
  8. Couple swap play is lower at house parties? Is it much different than clubs or hotel takeovers? It seems at every event I've been to it's four or nothing.
  9. If you are steadfast against swinging then you should not go. The only reason to go to a party, takeover or club is to fuck other people. That's the sole reason for going. Now finding somebody to fuck while there can be an issue but that's a different story.
  10. I won't ever go hair free I'll trim down to a 2 guard and shave my balls but that's as far as I'll go. My SO likes hair and wants me to go 100% natural but I won't do that. I personally don't care if a woman goes down on me if she wants to great if not no big deal.
  11. Ok so little update. Today we played with a very young couple M29 F22. We did same room and I was pretty comfortable. No issues getting it up. No real issues when a little brief MFM happened with my play partner and her guy. I had good sex it was pretty fun and the girl wants a repeat. Unfortunately my GF did not have a great time and not sure if there will be a repeat. I didn't really have jealousy or negative feelings for the most part. I was a little envious that she used her favorite position but oh well. Maybe the more I do this the more comfortable I'll get.
  12. I can share her but it's not always easy. The more I do the more comfortable I get. I never said I have to be her best. My fear is that I will lose her lust in doing this. That she may find something so good somewhere that she stays with me but no longer craves sex with me. She craves it with someone else. That would not be a relationship I would like. What do I like? We get along so well. She's hot smart, fun, funny we share common interests and life experiences even with our large age gap. The sex is incredible (I don't want to lose that) Why am I on this board? Simple as a place I can air all my concerns. I can't do that with her for multiple reasons. One is she is very solipsistic. Last night I was asking what she thought about a couple and she got aggravated. She said if you want to go fuck her just do it. You don't have to ask me. I looked at her and said you do realize that most of these women unlike you don't have the freedom to just go off to playrooms with me right? That you are a unique situation that I don't require us to play together or nothing? Her response? Why? What's the big deal with these people it's just sex! Why do they think we are here? I had that happen last night. Girl was dancing with me kissing me I was fingering her while she stroked me. I said let's go play and she said I want to but we only play together and her husband was wasted. My GF was like I don't get why ppl go that far and just stop.
  13. Well ot would depend on the accident but yes if I was paralyzed then of course I'd tell her to take on some FBs. If I just could't get it up? Implant or prosthetic would be options along with possible supplementation but yes I think the relationship would take a bit of a hit. Sex between a couple is way too important otherwise you are just friends. But I'm still capable now. I need to be my partner's number one choice not the guy she bangs cause I'm convenient, not just because she cares about me.
  14. Well he just rescheduled at the last minute. I said I'm sorry. Even tho I'm worried about it I still felt bad at her disapointment. She got this puzzeled look on her face and said I don't give a fuck (lol) I could take it or leave it. Then she asked if I had already cancelled our reservations for the club ( I had told her I was staying home) I said not yet. Now I'm thinking about going again.
  15. The reason I say Death Warrant ( could have used Pink Slip) is this. My number one job as a man in a relationship is Lover. It's my responsibility to provide her with great sex and orgasms. If I sub out my work to somebody else and they do a great job kinda makes me less valuable. Right?
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