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JAPrufrock

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    550
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JAPrufrock last won the day on September 22 2015

JAPrufrock had the most liked content!

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588 Excellent

About JAPrufrock

  • Rank
    Super Contributor
  • Birthday 07/05/1985

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Married couple, she mainly posts
  • Location
    Ohio
  • Swinging Experience
    Curious, haven't started
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    JAPrufrock
  • SwingerZoneCentral Username
    JAPrufrock

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  1. I can see why playing bareback with others might be a dealbreaker. In theory, they're less safe because who knows who they've gone bareback with? Even if you use a condom with them, what if the condom breaks? I'm not saying I would automatically eliminate people who play bareback, but I can see that side of things.
  2. That's why you never put yourself into that kind of situation. This reminds me so much of child discipline. You cannot control other people's actions, especially through threats. I made that mistake with my four-year-old. We had a trip to my sister's we were looking forward to, and my daughter was being very disobedient. I told her if she did whatever she was doing one more time, we'd have to cancel the trip (thus depriving me of a much needed visit with my sister, and her time with her cousin.) Whaddayaknow, she acted out again and I was forced to follow through with my threat. The situation ended with everyone miserable. I have since changed my discipline tactics. Now I'm not saying your partner is four, I'm saying that ultimatums have a way of making people do exactly the opposite of what you want them to do. In general, people like to feel like they have freedom. I don't know of any slaves who rave about how awesome it is to not have any control over their lives. If Mr. Prufrock had this attitude with me, I'd tell him he could have a fun time coming in his hand for the rest of his life, (despite the fact that I would never, ever let anyone else come in me.) But Mr. Prufrock would never throw around ultimatums because he knows, as well as I do, that life is hardly ever black-and-white, and for relationships to last you have to be flexible and forgiving. He also respects me enough to not try to control me. If we had a rule and it was broken, there would definitely be discussion. There would most likely be hurt feelings and anger. But we would discuss it, we would work through it, and we would forgive one another. I am not a four-year-old to be told what to do and punished if I don't get in line. I am an adult who makes decisions for herself, and because I love and respect my husband I would honor any rules that we have made together. I would imagine that most people want their spouse to keep to the rules because their spouse loves and respects them, rather then because they're afraid of the consequences.
  3. I can't use hormonal birth control due to a blood clot as well. The only option for me is an IUD (copper or the Mirena) I am uncomfortable with the idea of an IUD, so I haven't gotten one, but I would never play bareback even if pregnancy wasn't an issue. STD's are one of the biggest things holding us back. All it takes is one person who doesn't monitor themselves. I'm also not okay with Mr. Prufrock going bareback because it puts us both at risk. If we ever end up finding a couple we click with, and are exclusive and comfortable with them, we may consider bareback, but there would have to be some serious friendship and trust involved. I digress, the main point of my post was to say that if you are interested in the IUD route, most insurances should cover it at little or no cost due to Obamacare. Just call the number on the back of your insurance card and ask how they cover IUD's/contraceptive devices. As to your play partner feeling upset, if he was really committed to going bareback, he'd have followed your husband's example and gotten snipped. He can't really be upset about it, vasectomies are much less invasive then getting your tubes tied. If he did lodge a complaint (I'm not saying anyone would, pretty sure he wouldn't want you to get pregnant either) I just wouldn't play with him. Everyone has their rules
  4. Hate shaving, as my skin gets bumpy and irritated no matter what I do, and the stubble is awful. Tried waxing, really liked it for the first day or two, then the hair started to grow back and despite serious exfoliation, the ingrown hairs were awful. I'm back to my natural state of...natural, kept neatly trimmed, and am happy to hear that some other women are too, and that you guys don't seem to mind. Mr. Prufrock also admitted to me that he prefers hair down there on me, and waxing was expensive!
  5. Love it! Well written, thought-out, and with just a pinch of "suck it, lady!" so as not to raise too many heckles.
  6. I didn't read the whole thing. In truth, I am a bit terrified that swinging will change our marriage, and not for the better. I think that is one of the reasons we haven't had any actual experiences with other people yet. At the same time, this lady only sees people who are having issues in their relationship. Let's be honest here, they likely would have ended up seeing her whether or not swinging was involved, perhaps swinging just sped things up. Relationships are hard. They take work and a good amount of putting someone else before yourself. This board has taught me so much about relationships and what it means to truly want your spouse to be happy. Putting each other in a box and labeling it 'mine' isn't necessarily the path to happiness; just look at the overall divorce rates. This lady only talks about one side of the coin, she's never seen the other side (swinging couples who are successful so they don't require her 'expertise') so of course, the other side doesn't exist to her. It would be interesting to see what she has to say to all of us, although she probably wouldn't talk to us heathens. EDIT: 'frosts my cookies' is the best phrase ever.
  7. I would keep opening up the communication. Talk about anything and everything, even if it isn't sexual. The closer you two are, the more open you two are with your innermost fears, desires, and secrets, the easier talking about swinging will come. A few folks on here started watching a swinging show (I think it's Swing on playboy? I've never seen it so I couldn't tell you) and that helped open up their discussions on swinging. If you've already brought up swinging to her, how did she react? Did she immediately say "no way!"? Did she contemplate it? Based on her reactions you could consider asking her to set up a profile on one of the online sites (like SLS) Be sure to set it up together, that's half the fun! You get to talk about what it is you're both looking for. What excites you, what turns you off, rules you want set. There are a bunch of threads on here about how to figure out rules, etc... Whatever you do, DON'T set up a profile behind her back. Then, get together and take fun pictures of BOTH of you, and put them up. Make sure to hide your faces if you don't want face pics up online. You'll have better luck with your profile if you have pics up. Make sure to have at least one face pic you like so you can send it to couples who you're interested in. Is it only another woman you want to bring in? If you're worried about her thinking it's only something you want, you may consider seeing how she feels about a MFM, or just trying out a couple swap, if that's something you're interested in too. That may help alleviate the "it's all for you" jitters she may have. Like Cplnuswing, I've never cammed so I can't give you any advice on that.
  8. I hate it when a couple doesn't include pics of the guy! If you're looking for another couple, then PLEASE post pics of the guy too! Yeah, I'm sure your wife is lovely, but I'd like to see the guy too. *sigh* so many profiles do this and I can't figure out why. I mean, in theory both of them want to play, right?
  9. It sounds like he's just not ready to share you with another guy, and you're frustrated (as I would be too, in your place) so I'd put the breaks on. Maybe talk about why he's unwilling to bring another guy in? If he's teasing you because he thinks you like it, then by now, hopefully, he should know you don't. I don't think there's a problem telling him that you are unhappy with how swinging is going and that you want to stop until he can come to terms with whatever is holding him back. If he can't come to terms with it, then swinging may not be something you guys should pursue. The object of swinging is for both partners to have fun together through new sexual experiences. I can understand people talking about not keeping score, and I wholeheartedly agree that scorekeeping is silly, but I don't think that's what you're doing. Your husband wants to have his cake and eat it too. He gets other women, but when it comes to you fulfilling your fantasies, sorry that's a no-go. You aren't okay with that (as some women are.) You want new sexual experiences, too. So, a serious discussion is needed about why he's willing to sleep with other women but doesn't want you to have the same fun with other men. Respect his feelings, if he says he's jealous, or worried or whatever. But make it clear that swinging for you is not chilling out watching him bone another woman. You want to participate, and if he's not on board with that, then it's time to find a different hobby. By the way, I understand how you felt after the couples 'swap', I would not be happy if that happened to me.
  10. I'm not bi, so I can't speak from a woman-to-woman perspective. I can say that there will always be some who find overweight people unattractive, but I think that within the lifestyle people tend to be more realistic and enthusiastic about themselves and others. I, too, feel like my own husband tells be I'm beautiful because he has to, but I'm slowly realizing that he really actually does think and feel the things he says. And that I am beautiful. I think, as a woman, we're taught that if we don't measure up to some standard that the advertising world has shoved down our throats, we're worthless. And that's just not the case, as plenty of men here will tell you. I will say, though, our first experience at a club, we were followed around by a persistent unicorn who desperately wanted to play with Mr. Prufrock alone. It was a bit of a set back on our swinging journey to be honest, because I felt like my secret feelings were validated: Mr. Prufrock was way out of my league, I wasn't attractive yadda yadda yadda. What the kind and good people of Swingers Board reminded me of was this: the persistent Unicorn behaved badly, and women lead in the lifestyle. Now, I'm not sure how well this pertains to finding another woman, but for us at least, knowing that I am expected to make the first move, as opposed to being approached helps immensely. We haven't started swinging yet, and due to a lack of the right partners, we're not sure we'll ever get to start but I am learning that sexy isn't so much what you look like, but how you act. Be confident, be happy, be YOU, and if anyone doesn't like that, they aren't someone you'd want to play with in the first place. That's the best part about swinging. You will never be going home alone.
  11. Well, there is no option for "I don't know, because I've never been with someone who was uncut." I'm not going to knock it unless I try it. Mr. Prufrock is cut, and since I don't have a penis, I let him make the decision in regards to our son.
  12. Hi guys. So, we've been feeling fairly frustrated with everything lately. We can't seem to find the right couple, and the singles we've talked to just don't seem to get the couple dynamic. Recently, we were contacted by a couple online. The wife (presumably) wrote us to say that her husband recently got a job that will take him to our area frequently, and that they were looking for friends for him. She mentioned that they're used to doing their separate things as their schedule doesn't normally allow for them to play together, and that they're both 100% ok with this. She also mentioned the fact that they are normally full swap, but understand that we're new and he is willing to go with whatever makes us comfortable (just watching, soft playing, etc...) So. I am hesitant because of the situation we had with the non-communication couple. How do you go about verifying a hall pass? Ideally, we'd love to meet both of them, and heck, if we all click, play with them both first, instead of just the husband, but they live out of state (about 3.5 hours). I just don't want things to end badly, and we have no idea what to do in a hall pass situation. That's where you all come in! How would you all handle this situation?
  13. From a woman's perspective, I don't think I'd care at all if my play partner's equipment had a malfunction, as long as he's able to rise to the occasion in other ways. Mr. Prufrock recently gave me one of the best orgasms ever by eating me out and rubbing my G-spot with his finger. Don't get me wrong, I love the feeling of a cock inside me, but there are other ways to please a woman. Now, if you got freaked out and then got up and left or stopped playing, then it would suck. So don't sweat it, it seems to be the consensus here that it happens to other men too, and it generally doesn't phase women. Other ladies, am I right here?
  14. Yeah, there are a few newbie couples that have contacted us, excited that we're new too. Maybe this makes me a hypocrite, but... I really don't want our first experience to be with newbies. It's going to be hard enough for me to get over my own awkwardness, let alone someone elses'. I don't know, I suppose it's unrealistic to want a couple to just take us by the hands and show us the ropes Also, I just assume that people who are swinging have had more partners than I. Since Mr. Prufrock's my one and only, that's pretty much a certainty. So, while people who've got so many notches in their bedpost that they had to buy a new bed aren't super appealing, someone who knows what the heck they're doing and can teach us a few things along the way just makes more sense.
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