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Anyta90

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About Anyta90

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 04/14/1980

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    New York
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. I know I am not ready. I am not ready.But I can't stop thinking about it!!! And I think about it all the time...everywhere I am. It's kinda of frustrating at the same time. I mean how can I have so much fun with it in my imagination but be very much terrified of watching him touching another woman. I am a very emotional person. And an over thinker!!! Kinda of a whack combo...I have to analyze every emotion that i have...ugh Last night I had such an amazing night with him. I found out so many things about him...it was nice to see him allow himself to be vulnerable We're both very sexual. I mean the sex is beyond fabulous. He was blessed with a beautiful mind and a beautiful body. And so while I'm madly falling in love with him I can't stop thinking how hot it would be if I were to blow him with another chick ...both of our mouths on that beautiful man...mmmm How do I know when I am ready? How does it feel like?
  2. ...also what is the science behind being turned on when seeing your partner being satisfied or satisfying someone else??
  3. Ummmm before I make an update to the current situation...can you guys please start telling me about your first experiences? Was it a friend? Or friends? How did you feel afterwards? Anything on that first experience...
  4. ...that was not very nice Julie...I'm here for advice...not to be told how you would advise him to run away from me...
  5. Hmmm... So last night I got a little balsy(more like waay too much wine)and had him describe how the threesome would go. And the weird part again has happened...as he was going through the details all I wanted was to turn it into reality. But as soon as he finished I just went idiot on him and repetead for half an hour straight that I hate him ( How can this be? I'm so turned on by the whole thing but something clicks inside of me and I start feeling so insecure and scared. Things got even worse when he actually mentioned a friend of mine who he finds attractive... A couple of years ago I was actually on Craigslist by myself looking for couples where I can be the third person. Never actually got the courage to do it... I love sex. I can turn it into art... I just don't get what's wrong with me...
  6. Wow intuition897...that was amazing. Really amazing tips in there... We actually had another conversation last night and he is just so awesome...He just makes me fall for him every day more and more. I told him that I was thinking about going to a swingers club and see how it feels. I was also asking him how he can be in a threesome but he can't enjoy an open relationship(which is actually something that really baffles me...how can you have sex with a third person but not an open relationship) He advised me not to. He is totally certain that I'm not personally ready to be watching people having sex almost everywhere I would look and we should not be talking threesomes either since he feels that the relationship is not ready for something like that...he's not willing to have me change my feelings over that. At this point building blocks sounds like an awesome idea. Having him point out towards the people he's attracted to sounds like a good idea too ...putting it in practice though sounds like putting acid in my eyes So many mental blockages... Have no idea how to break them. How to accept that he can fantasize about someone else and not mean a god damn thing. I asked him how he makes the difference between love and lust. Simple,he said: one you feel with your heart and the other with your dick... Which makes perfect sense...First time we had sex it was lust. That's how I should know...remember how I felt in the begin inning. However, I have to come in and make it cheesy I never slept with a guy just for the fun of it. If I did not have the slightest romantic interest in him then I wouldn't be able to take my pants off...so somehow my heart always gets in the way. Even if it's just for a week... Why do I have to be so complicated? I wish I was a man...just for a day. And see how testosterone feels as opposed to estrogen )
  7. That sounds like an amazing relationship... I'm really confused about how come I can get turned on by the idea of him actually touching someone else but in reality I'd probably faint... Was talking to a friend about this and decided to try and venture a bit into a swinger club...see how I feel...
  8. And you've never ever felt jealousy? Never wondered what if lust turns into something else?!?
  9. I agree Mr.Discover The best thing to do for myself was to love and accept myself exactly as I am. And I do hear that for some exploring their sexual boundaries did help with their self esteem...Would you care to elaborate?
  10. Also...I think me being not ready stems from certain insecurities as well My self esteem does not remain on a constant high. I have days when I feel like I can rule the world and days when I feel like I'm the most horrible human being... And that is something else I don't know how to fix...
  11. The relationship is fairly new...8 months. I was previously married. For 7 years. A marriage that ended up in a disaster. And left me beyond broken and traumatized (Hubbie had an affair with a coworker of mine that resulted in a daughter for them) He had a couple of steady relationships, one that lasted about 6 years. But he has experienced plenty of fmf threesomes him being the male. No, I'm not ready for a threesome and neither is the relationship. But how do I get ready? How do I know that a threesome is just play and nothing else? How do I leave my heart out of this?
  12. Simple but not so simple. I agree...these 3(love,trust,communication)are the main and strongest factors in this particular equation. The relationship is fairly new(8 months)so it will require more building but its foundation is solid. The love and trust are there...no doubt about it. Communication though...not there yet. From both sides I guess. You're right...I should not have gotten mad at him sharing his fantasies. Guess at that point I was somewhat surprised by the fantasy itself and kept asking myself if this was his way of asking for a free pass. Days later I reopened the conversation by trying to find out how important was this fantasy for him... Looking to confirm myself that he is the quality guy that I find him to be. Pretty much the same thoughts as yours: if this relationship is conditioned by that particular fantasy then it would pretty much be a dead end for us. And his answer(although not a very detailed one)confirmed his awesomeness..."babe,don't read too much into it. It is just a fantasy" You're also right by me not being ready for it but interested in it. And the reasons why I'm not ready is because at this point I'm approaching it from a technical perspective(that's why I'm mentioning rewiring). I perfectly understand the theory... But how do I apply it?? Yes,it's just play but how do I know. How does one know to differentiate lust from love? How do I leave my emotions out of this "play time"? How can I actually picture it and get turned on by the idea of seeing him penetrate someone else but I'm freaked out by this turning into reality? I don't understand myself (
  13. Hello everyone. Not sure where to start or how to start... My boyfriend mentioned the other day that he would love seeing me with another girl. The more we discussed the more information I was getting. And he seems to be quite into threesomes...which from my perspective is soft swinging. I started feeling really weird and could not continue the conversation. Then I actually got mad because I felt that he should have told me this from the beginning and give me a fair chance at deciding if I want to start a relationship with someone that has this particular sexual preference. I am not a judgemental person but I am a very emotional person. I also like to think of myself as being open minded. But if I can't figure out how to separate love from sex then there's definitely some connections in my brain that need rewiring...right? Funny thing is...I actually always fancied the idea of a threesome. And not because I am attracted to girls or because I am not satisfied with my boyfriend. Our sex life is great. Best I've ever been with!!! But because I can actually imagine what an amazing overload would be on my sensory system. This is how far I can go though... I can actually picture him with someone else but the thought of actually seeing him touch someone else in reality really scares the life out of me. So...how do I do it? How do I separate love from sex? How do I not fall into the jealousy trap??!?
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