montcpl99

Thank you very much. Great to get on here and be able to talk it out.

My problem occurred at a house party. This was going to be an intense house party, like 10-12 fun couples. My wife was only interested in about three of the guys coming, one being the host. The party had a great layout. A large open basement with bar on one end and couches on the other end. There were a few play rooms off to the side. My understanding was at this party, there was not really a bunch of pairing off, but rather all kinda get together and start playing in the big room. By 9 p.m. the host wanted to get things started so he grabs my wife and starts undressing her. I in the mean hile ran upstairs to use the bathroom unknowingly. When I come back down to the basement, I don't see my wife. Well I find out from another guy that she is over at the couches on the floor playing, just her and the host. Everybody else is standing around the bar on the other end snacking and talking. We have a rule for "same room only" when we play. Also I felt disrespectfully, I did not know where she was. We have played with this couple before but in the same room. His wife was at the bar talking. After about 20-30 minutes my wife comes up for air and motions for me to come play with her and the host. By this time, I was just really getting upset, but did not want to say anything at the party. The Host's wife did approach me and kinda took me over to where my wife was playing and we all started playing. I did not say anything for 24 hours. After talking to my wife, she did realize that she forgot to let me know where she was or anything about the same room rule. Being a house party and she conceptualized that everybody would just start playing all together when they started playing, but that really didn't happen for 1/2 hour or so later. I am very upset. She broke a rule that if I had done the same exact thing she would have been furious. I did not let it consume our weekend, but Sunday night I sat her down and talked to her. I think I am just disappointed that she did not even let me know what she was doing or enough respect for me. I felt really stupid coming back downstairs and looking over the couches and seeing my wife and the host only playing. I kinda just looked around for like 20-30 minutes while they played. Not much fun at all. I am still very upset. I feel like may have lost some trust, or something. Please help wit any thoughts. My wife and I have a great relationship and this is a huge strain.