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GregandLori

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About GregandLori

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 01/02/1970

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Georgia
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx

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  1. First off – I am new here and cant' figure out how to TRACK posts. If someone can PM me I would be grateful. I would like to thank you ALL once again for the prior and added comments and PM's since I have first posted. Each and everyone of your insights have given me so much to think about and consider. And sadly the story continues to unfold and in a very negative way. I wrote the the woman he was playing with a message to apologize for any discomfort I brought to her and anyone else affected. What I got back was from them was a note saying that in their eyes HE did nothing wrong. He only did “ what ANY man would do in the situation”. WOW is all I can say. You men can chime in here if you'd care - I am interested on your take. My guy in turn then apologized to them as well, however, for MY bad behavior. He took NO responsibility for to them for his, to tell them that he broke our agreement. And if he had not done so things would have been OK. Yep, back to blaming me for his lack of respect for us. He was more worried about his reputation with them than working on this in order to move forward in a positive way. He told them that clearly this is not something we can do together (because of ME, I am not cut out for it, but he is ) and he will be pursing it on his own as a single agent. It is very clear what is important to him.........and it isn't me and must not have been for a very long time. I am sure all of you must already know how this story is going to most likely end short of a miracle............sigh. This is NOT what I was hoping for for sure. I am a women who is ALL IN when I am in a relationship. I work VERY hard giving my all. But even I know when I have exhausted myself. I believe on working together and alone when together isn't working and to not give up. But even I do understand I can't do it alone for too long and nor do I want to! But if this is what it takes to see the light, I suppose it was meant to be. As I said. I do want to take the time to individually respond to each or you all as soon as I can. You have all been so kind and insightful and I am grateful for it. But new job, kids back to school and all of this mess along with lack of sleep makes for a time shortage.... Bye for now and big hugs to all and thank you again!!! Lori
  2. OMG - Thank you ALL for taking the time for the wonderful replies. SOooo much great advice, thoughts and things to ponder. WOW I do not have time to properly reply right now but will when I do. But I did want to at the very least take the time to say THANK YOU - to ALL. Lori
  3. Greg has cheated on me with one nighters more than once in our relationship as well as continues to (even though he say's he won't) have contact with old loves from days gone by via email, text, phone, Facebook and yes even planned visits to them when he is out of town and near them on business trips. Even though he say's he wont' and knows it's wrong he still does! After a long discussion about 6 months ago or so he FINALLY admitted (of which I was grateful for and and thanked him for his honesty) that he does not have the ability or desire to be monogamous. Hence, here we are exploring swinging. It would not be my first choice but I am open to it and have to say I am finding it intriguing but still not really mentally all in yet. I have a slower learning curve than he does But am finding it interesting to say the least not loving it but not hating it either. I think I just tend to be more picky than most women That being said: We have been to several different venues now . A few ended up OK. We have played with one another and others as agreed BUT most have ended up disastrous. Mostly in part because HE does NOT stick with our agreed rules! We agree and review, agree and, review, and review again just before we walk in the door so there is no misunderstanding but then 3 hours into the night he breaks at least one of them almost every single time. Most recently: We were at a home party of 30-40 people. There really was no one that I was interested in and I told Greg that it was OK for him to find a solo and have fun without me. BUT going back to our rule, WE BOTH agreed over and over again that we are supposed to tell one another who we are going to play with and where. Not to just disappear. So off he went to troll the group, I am fine:) But then he ended up, yes, breaking a rule. He came outside to check on me asking me if he could bring me anything. “She came out as well shortly behind him asking if I was having a good time? Nothing odd as she was the hostess after all so I thought she was just roaming and being a good host. Nice girl, I liked her a lot. At that point my guy say's OK going back inside see you in a bit etc. She then goes back inside as well, but not directly together maybe 30 seconds apart. Still no reason at all to think they are hooking up. Our rule is WE SAY WHO WE ARE GOING TO PLAY WITH AND WHERE-NO DISAPPEARING ACTS. 5 minutes later her husband came out to me to and said “Hi your husband is inside fucking my wife, I hope that is OK”? NO word from my guy, NOTHING like “ hey honey, Jane doe and I are going in to play, I love you see you in a bit”. If he had done so I would have been 1000% fine. That is what I wanted him to do and told him to do. And so I told her husband - Um HELL NO it is NOT OK ! He asked why? And I told him that once again he broke a flipping rule like he does each and every time we do this and YES, I got upset and went into the room told him I was leaving and ended up making a scene because he got mad at me for it and we left. I have tried everything I can possibly do to make this man happy, but he can't even abide by a few AGREED shared rules in order to make this doable, I don't see the point in trying. I feel totally disrespected by him over and over and over. He of course he is now livid with me, telling me It is all my fault as he always does when this falls apart. “I am too uptight. It is a swingers party that's what we are supposed to do go fuck other people. He said he didn't have to tell me, he sent the husband out to tell me etc....and he was just doing what I told him he could do....and how I embarrassed him and now he cant show his face to them again”. And to rub salt in the wound he told me he now tells me he is repulsed to even sleep in the same bed with me. If anything it should be the other way around. WELL........My take is if he were a man of his word he would have had a great time and we wouldn't be having this issue right now would we? I was NOT mad he found someone, I was mad because I can't trust him to keep our rules right even in front of me for God's sake. I was mad because it was NOT HER husbands job to inform me, it was his! I ask a few simple things , that's it and he can't even do that. I thought this was about trust. I continue to find it intriguing how he say's one thing when he is trolling to set these dates up. More or less telling me what I want to hear to get me agreeable, but then things change once we are there. He has a proven VERY RECENT history of not being able to be trusted when I am NOT around. I wanted to give him the opportunity to explore this for US so we can do this TOGETHER as AGREED so he didn't feel the need to sneak around behind my back. All I asked for were a few simple agreed rules. Because he can't keep them I can't even feel like I trust him right in front of me!!! You would think that after several times of these debacles he would be thinking OK gonna play by the rules this time – don't want to mess it up again!! How many times does it take for the rules to sink in if ever? Remember – in his mind this is ALL MY FAULT because he didn't follow the rule. What am I missing?????
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