COUPLE4XXXFUN

I didn't mean to sound a "little strong". I only have what you wrote as a background.. point 1: HE is in love with YOUR wife #2: she feels strongly for him. #3: HIS wife is not happy... just curious how you meant to sound.. cause it came across as a story of doom. Didn't mean to rattle your cage, just addressed the points you brought to the table.. Good luck with this.. No problem Junglecouple. Thanks for writing. Just a little misunderstanding in the post. We are good

Thanks for writing and sharing your experience Gordo. It is helpful to know that others have been in a similar situation. It is to bad you are so far away, you sound like a couple that would be fun to get to know that really has it together. All the best to you guys

Just to clearfy Junglecouple there will be no divorce atty etc. in our marriage. We are both committed to making our marriage work. Just to further clearfy nothing in my post said anything about me thinking what you wrote was "tough". I just said you came on a "little strong" by wanting to shake some one through the monitor. Actually I thought that was a bit of a humorous responce. So you can take a deep breath and chill a bit. No offense taken. Original intent of the post was not so much about me and my wife as it was how to deal with this other couple and their issue. Please see the next to last line of the origianl post and I asked the question weather it is "possible to go back to a lesser relationship with a couple once it may have become to intesnse between two in the party or would that just end the friendship" (which both in the other couple claim they do not want) I am only looking for a way to take out a little of the intensity of the the relationship so we can all focus more clearly on making both of our marriages the best they can be. Ultimately each couple is responsible for their own marriage and we know that, but at the same time we would feel really bad if something were to happen to them and their marriage which may or may not been caused indirectly by how we handled things. My wife and I do not feel good about being a part of their hurting and hope they can get the romance back in their marriage, but ultimately we know they will have to be the ones to work through it and knowing them they probably will after all they have been married for 36 years and have had worse problems than this.

Thank you all who have responded with some thoughts and view points which are interesting. Well all except Junglecouple that may have came on a little strong "... wanting to reach through the monitor and shake someone". A little more back ground on the situation, I feel my wife and I have a good marriage and neither of wants to end it. Nothing was said about as was mentioned in one post about her and her boyfriend "moving into an apartment" That is not the case, but it is a little more involved than just walking away form this cold turkey, they basically are good people in a lot of ways. We interact wiht their family, their kids and grand kids and are involved to some degree. Thye like wise are good friends with my wife's family, which by the way are 1200 miles away and do not know that we are in the lifestyle. Their family on the other hand dose know a little about us 4 being in the lifstyle. We would have prefered that they would not have told them that detail and just let them asume we were close vanilla friends. How be it it is out there. So you can see just cutting this off cold turkey would affect a lot of other peoples lives to some degree. Someone asks if the wife was on board with me wanting to see other couples or at least go to a swingers club and she is. She at times misses this too, but probably not quite as much as I do. She and I have talked on numerous occassions that we need to try to take back control of our life some and not let them control it so much. We have tried to an extent to limit our engagement with them to every other weekend instead of every week like it was there for quite a while. They always seem to want more of us though, except when they have something else that they want to do. The main problem seems to be that the boyfriend seems to have his feeling quite a bit to strong for my wife, although if his wife asks him he says that my wife's feeling and emltions are too strong and deep for him. In the mean time his wife is hurting quite a bit and at times is physically sick because of all this and yet she doesn't wan to end teh friendship either. I am just not sure what the answer is here. Again thanks for all your thoughts and view points and more are welcom Thank You Paul

Hi All, we are a couple in our mid fifties and have been in the lifestyle for about 7 years. About 4 years ago we hooked up with a lifestyle couple that we became very fond of and soon were seeing them almost weekly. They have alway been a little insecure and were jealous if we wanted to just visit another lifestyle couple or a cub without them. We became close enough where we started doing seperate dates with them and even a few long weekend seperate dates with them. Along the way over time my wife and the guy in the other couple have developed some really close and emotional feeling for each other even to the point of being 'in love' and yet she very much loves me as well. The other guy's wife (my girlfriend ??) is having a really hard time with this and feels her marriage/relationship with her husband is suffering because he is not paying enough loving romantic attention to her like he does to my wife. No doubt he has a great hot sexy loving relationship with my wife, but his wife feels she is missing out and feels like number 2. They have had numerous talks about this and yet nothing really changes. My feeling is I wish we could see other couples once in a while with out causing a lot of drama from either of this other couple. I als feel if we did this it may take some of the pressure and intensisty off the close relationship of my wife and her boyfriend. I am not sure how we got into this situation, slowly ovr time I guess, but wish some things would change and yet I don't want to hurt any of them. Is is possible to go back to a lesser relationship with a couple once it has become so intense between the two in the party or would that just end the friendship. Any thoughts or advise on this or a look at it from another view point would be appreciated. Thank You Paul