Methos

This is one area where looking through personal ads on various sights has helped somewhat. (We got that advice here!) The sun rises and sets with her.

Maybe it was because of the way I was raised, or maybe it was lessons learned later in life -- But I've never had any physically possessive feelings toward my wife. Physical stirrings, certainly! But I've known and understood clearly from day one that it's her pussy, not mine. I've had the privilege and joy of her sharing it with me, but I don't own her or any physical part of her. Owning her heart and mind is all that has ever mattered to me (and vice-verse for her.) If she ever wanted to give it to someone else, it's hers to do so with. Now, if that were done covertly, it would absolutely crush me -- not for the physical act, but for the deceit. (And she feels exactly the same.) With that said, it was strangely arousing to see her with another man. And it was thrilling to see and hear her expressions as she let herself go and became completely immersed in pleasure. Pride is probably not the right word to describe what else I felt, I mean I wasn't contributing anything by watching. But I did feel an immense feeling of satisfaction watching her reel and buck through what was probably the biggest orgasm I had seen from her in a long time. Look, to be totally honest (for which she may not forgive me, but we just got home and she just went to bed, so here I go...) After 8 years together, our love life has been less than spectacular as of late. I've had quite a few more experiences and exposures in life than she has, which seemed for a while to place the "suggestion box" for creativity and exploring right in to my hands. I don't know if anyone can relate to that position, but I will tell those who can't that after a while you just get sick of coming up with ideas and suggestions all by yourself. It can get a bit frustrating, to be succinct. So, the weekend was a great weekend of pent-up release, but it was also a huge door-opener for us. Here's the only anomaly for me after a great three-day camping trip... We went for a late breakfast after we packed up and left the camp grounds. Well, she and my buddy ordered dinners that came with the salad bar option. And, after ordering, they went together to fetch their rabbit food while I waited at the table. Later that day, while unpacking and cleaning our gear, my buddy tells me that she slid up next to him at the salad bar with an evil little grin and said, "You know, I came like ten f*cking times this weekend!" Nothing else, and she didn't act any different before or after saying that. So what? There is nothing covert or sinister about that observation or with her sharing it with him. Yet, that was the moment I felt the smallest pang of jealousy ( or envy if you read Fundamental Law's remark on jealousy thread. ) I attribute the pang I felt to it being our first time, and the thought that she had shared an intimate thought with him while I wasn't there. Not so much an issue of insecurity as an issue of not being there to share in the moment -- I felt sort of left out. Probably strange, but this board seems to reward honesty with advice, so there it is.

Very true! But that begs the question: What is a beautiful body? I can only speak to my experiences over the years, experiences which are relative and do not actually equate to anything factual overall. But the fact that I have found some people to have deeper, kinder, and more meaningful personalities than others does guide me when I seek out things such as companionship or conversation. People like what they like. Overall I agree with you. I believe that ignorance, evil, and ugliness can manifest itself in all sorts of sizes and shapes. Further, I apologize for the above post (only because it seems to me that I have derailed this thread) and I do not want to turn a thread full of great insights in to a rant about judging books by their covers. I was only trying to be supportive of the above poster that I responded to, but I seem to have used more emphasis then I should have. I'm still learning!

Mr. Marvin, we hope that you will continue to keep this updated. We have been looking around at some sites over the last few days, and to be honest, the online arrangements all seem less than thrilling. Especially (now) considering the amount of time you have put in with meeting couples one at a time. My wife and I already (sort of) have our first experience behind us (though, I'm not sure if it "counts" since it happened before we happened upon this lifestyle.) However, while everyone's experiences may vary, reading about your adventures has us leaning a little more toward a social event rather than trying the web first. We don't really have any question about our willingness, rather, for us it has become an issue of understanding just what we are jumping in to. And the generous sharing of your experiences thus far has somewhat helped us with that. Thank you (and please keep posting.)

Yikes! Not trying to be critical, but BBW's have all the fun. We haven't hit the club scene yet, but just from everyday life I know full and well that gorgeous people (of the magazine-cover grade) are about... Okay, I'll refrain from being negative. But I will say that "gorgeous" people make me run away (fast!) And it's not because I feel inferior or lacking. That it is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth! I don't know you personally, but I do know that many people have an innate ability to be beautiful long before looks ever come in to the equation. Back in the early 90's I spent about two years working a few strip clubs downtown and down in the flats. So, maybe I'm biased, but I learned long ago just how ugly physical beauty can be. I'm sure there are beautiful people out there whom also have exceptionally gifted looks or physiques however, I assure you, they are far and few between. Real beauty comes from how a person treats their waitress when they go out to dinner or what someone does when they think nobody is looking. Uh-oh, I'm doing it again... My apologies. Well, if you're anything like my wife, all that goes in one ear and out the other, lol! I just told someone else tonight that life is short and we are easily biodegradable (translation: Get out, live, and make the most of it!) I truly believe that Tribbles said it best: Words to live by!

Spoken like a poet! A man after my own heart! Well, I certainly hope we find that one night for my wife. She deserves to feel better about herself (and if one good night can make that happen, then it can't happen soon enough.) She's not here while I'm typing tonight, so just for the record: She is a sexy and amazing woman who has made me the happiest man on this planet (and there is nothing I will not do or give in my attempt to see her just as happy as I am.) Bring on the local stud, please! I'm pretty sure this just became our mission statement! - Ya know, we've covered so much (from cloned wives to awesome feedback) and I am very grateful to all of you. As I said elsewhere, just our participation on this board has made our relationship even better than it was a day before we landed here. I'm pretty sure things will only get better as we progress in to deeper waters (in real life!) My warmest thanks to all of you!

UPDATE: Holy crap! Just took a quick stroll over to SLS again and did a basic quick search... The first 22 ads are from right in our little suburb! The remaining 28 were all within 2 freakin miles of us The search didn't go past 50 (one of the limits of a free account, I believe.) Wowsers! I realize some of you pointed out Ohio as a great place for fun, but do ya think anyone might have understated things just a little? Now we have to decide if we should really be looking in our own backyard... Too many implications to mention. And we haven't seen that thread on the forum yet, so if anyone knows where it's at, could you point it out for us, please? (I know there has to be a topic in here somewhere about locations close to home, etc, we just haven't found it yet. So much reading left to do, lol.)

Well, gee, I guess when you put it in to a perspective like that... That site was quite annoying, but perhaps if I just set my holier-than-digital attitude aside long enough to see what they have to offer, well, perhaps we can reap some of the benefits that do exist there. I have a feeling that it might help her quite a bit to actually get a better idea of who's out there. SZC is next on our list. Perhaps tonight, if time permits us. Apparently we have the same wives and the same tastes!

True words, my friend. If I had to guess, I would certainly have guessed on experiencing the polar opposite of the reaction that I did. - John, you started this thread, so I hope you come back and tell everyone how things worked out and why. I don't mean to pry, but me and my wife have learned so much here (all from the stories and advice of others) and no matter what you and her decide, your words might help someone else down the road that comes here with the very same question in mind. I hope things work out for the best.

Hmmmm... Seems I have an uphill battle with evolution on my hands! I suppose the only way we're going to get through this is to step up to the plate, take our best swing, and hope for the best. But I feel better knowing that we're not alone on this. Perhaps a social event will help to temper some things when we get see the many variations of people in attendance. Oh brother... I spent 10 minutes or better just now trying to register an account on that God-Forsaken website, only to find out it has limited privileges unless we want become paying members (which I can't understand for the life of me why I would just take their word that it's worth paying for!) And after the pain and suffering of dealing with their registration process -- As someone who used to make a living coding sites, their registration process does not inspire a whole lot of confidence in what that site might have to offer other than maybe "losing" our credit card number. My apologies for the rant. Poorly done websites are just a real bad issue for me. We're looking at another one called Swinger Zone Central that was also suggested to us, and is supposed to be pretty popular for our area. And we have a few other suggestions to try out. As always, we appreciate the feedback. Seems like the time to dip our toes in the water is getting closer. Thank you! We decided to spend some time in that section reading some stuff together next.

Okay, even anonymously I'm going out on sort of a limb here. It was not a hard decision considering the openness and honesty I've found all across this board. But it is a bit different publicly opening up where even Google can find it. I need some help... Dirty Red (my pet name for wifey) is sitting right here, a bit unsteady, as I type this. We were talking earlier and she sort of let it slip out that one of her biggest concerns was us ending up with a couple of twenty-somethings, some time at some venue. (I just turned 40 last week, and she recently celebrated the 8th anniversary of her 30th birthday.) After some more talking, she sort of let it out that she is quite interested in exploring play with others, but maybe not with someone younger and hotter than her. Now, that's not really a problem in my eyes (though, I suspect it might be a more common concern for others in this joyous lifestyle.) Also, I know that weed can easily grow on both sides of the fence, especially for those who have not prepared or have overestimated their own strength or level of security (I don't mean that in a mocking sense, just calling like it is.) Here's the problem... SHE'S A F*CKING GODDESS! How's that a problem, you ask? Well, for some God-forsaken reason of terrible humor, she just can't see it. (And discount my 8+ years of trying to convince her because my opinion is apparently biased.) Seriously, she's got curves like a Ferrari. She's not a big girl (though, I wouldn't complain if she was -- Hey, bones are for dogs, a man needs meat!) But (thankfully) she's not a stick figure, either. She's worked hard to slim down a bit over the last year or so (somewhat to my dismay) but she looks and feels great for it. Which means she doesn't feel bad about her body, but she just doesn't have a lot of confidence in it either. She has confidence and poise in every other aspect of her life except for her body. WTF? Now, I'm wanting to head in to this (just like her) purely for fun. Life is short, get out and live, right? So, I harbor no twenty-something fantasies or whatever else. Just take it as it comes. But I'd sure like to know that she felt a lot more confident, no matter who we might encounter, under any circumstances. Finally, I don't think it's a fear of losing me or my affection to some twenty-something, either. We have worked hard to build a rock-solid and open relationship. And based on today's conversation, it seems more like an issue of, "How do I stack up against this person or that person?" Look, I'm not terribly good at translating thoughts in to written form, which why my posts often turn in to small novella's, but by now somebody out there has to know what I'm trying to express here. I want her to feel confident about her body (whether we ever play or not.) And, if we do go out to play, I don't want her to miss out on anything because she might be more focused on the comparison of appearances rather than the issue at hand, so to speak. Anyone else have a similar experience before? Anyone else heard of this? (I'm sure there's probably something here in the forums, but we've been doing sooooo much reading as of late...) - Challenging as it has been, she has sat right here and watched me type this the whole time, and she's approved of every word - and I love her so much more for that strength.

Well, see, I was watching this Nat-Geo documentary about sex in the 70's and...

Well, that has been the best two sleepless nights of reading I have ever done. (She, for the parts she stayed awake for) and I learned so much (and laughed so much) from the great experiences posted here over what seems to have been many years. To think we could waltz in here with barely any experience at all and leave feeling like we just graduated from basic training. Amazing! For those still here and those who are not, thank you so much for all of your sharing. We look forward to the days when we will have such useful advice to pass on to those who follow. . And the Visual-Of-The-Day award goes to... :lol: :lol:

Brother, I'm going to speak to you from one limited experience (and it was just about a week ago), so just know that all of the above advice is far more valuable and insightful than mine. Last week we went camping with a buddy of mine. He's been having a rough go at things in life lately and his sex life is about as exciting as an old copy of Reader's Digest (does that damn thing even still exist or did I just date myself?) Well, we were having some drinks around the campfire and relaxing when the conversation suddenly turned a little kinky. My wife is a hell of a woman and a team player all around -- I just didn't know how much until that night! We often make jokes with my buddy, and she even harmlessly flirts with him from time to time. She once mentioned to me that was curious what his reaction would be if she flashed him her breasts. My only thought was, "I dunno, let's see!" I've never really been the jealous type, but I've also never been in such a position before either. Well, later that day she was rubbing the damn things across his face. And while I could never predict how I might feel about something like that, I'm pretty sure I would have never guessed I would be as turned on as I was! So, back at the campfire now,, he gets up and heads off to get something from his truck and she turns to me with an evil little grin and says, "I'm about to fuck his whole world up." She then proceeded to take off all of her clothes. And when he returned, he didn't notice at first, just sat down and started talking. Well, he looked up and stopped speaking in mid-sentence, jaw resting on the ground, and staring in disbelief. A little more conversation and a few more drinks and there he was going down on her. I couldn't believe my eyes (or the new stirring I was suddenly feeling below the belt.) A few minutes later and there she was returning the favor. A few minutes after that and she was bouncing back and forth between us! I don't know about him, but she sure rocked my damn world! That turned in to three entire days of playing! (And me thinks I might have gotten hooked on something here.) If I had to think about it before, I would have guessed that the sight of my wife with some other man would have set me on a fucking warpath -- to understate it the best that I can. Who would've known that it turned out to be something I suddenly couldn't get enough of? The key here for me was that I was able to play as well, though, I thinking about it now I guess I could just watch and probably be pretty happy about it. And I'm starting to suspect she might get just as excited watching me play with another woman... But I believe that these things are possible only because of where we are in our relationship. We have had many conversations about our relationship and about monogamy, etc., and we both agree that it's where our heart is at that matters, not much else. It took us a long time to get to a point in our relationship where we could even talk of such things, and it was probably a year after that first conversation before anything ever happened (the infamous camping trip, woo-hoo!) This was never a fantasy of mine, I always opted to dream about another woman joining us. But things turned out different this first time, and I was so okay with that. So, I don't think there is any real predicting of anything until you guys are actually experiencing something hands-on, so to speak. Like most others have said, start slow and see what happens... Just remember, if you find real life as enjoyable as fantasy, then you two will always have something else to share. And if it turns out that you don't (or she doesn't) like the experience, shut it down and go home together. There's lots of other stuff you can try with just each other. - (We newbies should band together and make our own book. We can call it the Codex Newbus.)