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Sweetdee

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  • Content Count

    7
  • Joined

Community Reputation

15 Good

About Sweetdee

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 08/09/1975

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Illinois
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. Hi haven't heard from u Any More everything ok? Contact us Cathy&Ruben

  2. Kmcouple thanks for the insight - no he hasn't been an ass this whole time, I've been with him for a long time. I just can't believe he's willing to throw our marriage away over this girl. I've been willing to experiment with swinging (not poly tho, that's not my thing) and it's not cool for either of us to be hanging out and developing emotional relationships with members of the opposite sex. And if one of us is being hurt by it, then it should stop, end of story! I appreciate hearing the other side.
  3. And not that it should make that much of a difference, but I have never let myself go during the marriage, I'm 40 but look younger, I work out all the time I look better than I did in my 20's - this isn't a situation where my husband found someone sexier because his wife let herself go (which I think is a crappy thing for any man to do). Things were seemingly good before this happened. And the girl he can't stop talking to is not like a stunning woman, but I guess there's some connection there that I'm not seeing. Maybe just the that that she's not me?
  4. I have had numerous conversations with my husband to find out what his intentions are in staying in though with this other girl, and none of them make sense. First he said she is a 'cool chick' and a 'good friend' who is easy to talk to (while he literally gives me the cold shoulder and acts like speaking to me is an act of charity). Now, the other girl has a boyfriend and SHE sneaks around to make secret phone calls to my husband so that she doesn't ruin things with her new relationship! And the kicker is that my husband told me that this made him angry because she knows how much 'grief' he had to take from me in order to talk to her (meaning me expressing the pain he was putting me through) and he's now upset that she is not willing to do the same for him. Oh and by the way, he thinks I have completely overreacted by leaving and has suggested that I get a hobby or something so that I stop obsessing over this. I have been with this guy for 13 years and he has never been this heartless or cruel and I can't figure this out, nor is it worth it at this point.
  5. Hi sunbuckers, when my husband first brought this whole thing up I was devastated and I continually asked him to stop contacting the other woman. He refused, insisting they were just friends. I am no longer a workaholic because (to add to all of my other stresses lol) I lost my job last March - so I have plenty of free time. I am (or was) willing to work on our marriage on the condition that he have zero contact with this woman but he refuses. Now I am learning more about the depth of their relationship. He claims that the only physical part occurred when the three of us played (which I put an end to a long time ago) but they talk/text obsessively and refer to each other as 'exes' now. And he refuses to stop talking to her and gets angry with me for being upset and hurt by what I view as his betrayal. I have since left because I realize that I married a real jacka$$.
  6. The funny thing is, that I was willing to explore the lifestyle and hit up a few parties and see what we could do as a couple - but he can't let his girl go. So that's all off the table. I don't do open marriages, and after this I don't trust him enough to even think of swinging. What a cad he turned out to be. :-(
  7. Thanks for the replies you guys. I think that my grief over the loss of my dad made me doubt myself and buy into the whole 'there's nothing wrong since we are just friends'. And wow, what a creep to do this to me in the first place, but especially when I was dealing with my father's illness and passing.... And thanks again for the words of comfort.
  8. Hi everyone, I've been reading these threads for awhile to see what everyone's experiences have been (the good bad and the ugly lol) this is the Mrs (the Mr doesn't read these boards) and i had a rather rough introduction the world of swinging. Sorry if this is long but I will try to give you the cliff notes. In 2011, (Christmas Eve to be exact) while my in-laws were visiting I noticed that my husband was ignoring everyone and glued to his iPhone. When I got up the next morning I did the unthinkable and checked his phone and saw texts to another woman about how much they were attracted to each other etc... Yada yada yada. Needless to say Christmas Day was ruined. My husband claimed that she was someone who tended bar who he happened to know from his high school days and who happened to be bi and he was hoping to get me into a threesome with (something I never expressed interest in) and that he loved me but that this was a fantasy of his and would mean so much to him. I was somewhat intrigued by the idea of a threesome but distrustful of this situation - fast forward a month I agreed to meet up with this girl who seemed cool (although I was still distrustful) and I went through with it. Next thing I knew her and my husband are texting/talking daily. I was a workaholic and she would be over at my house and I would wake up and she would be cleaning my kitchen. She breaks up with her boyfriend and tells people she is in a poly relationship with my husband and I tell my husband this is over I agreed to a one time experiment not to him getting a girlfriend. They won't stop. I leave town on business and he takes her out on a date with his friends. Finally he agrees to end it. Now they are 'just friends' and still talk daily and meet at times for coffee. And he can't understand why I'm upset because there is no sex involved. And claims that they never did anything outside of our few experiences together so it shouldn't be a problem. I have already told him I am leaving him, he claims to be devastated but still maintains his relationship with her and thinks it's ok because she has a new boyfriend. Did I mention that during this whole debacle my father was dying and passed away and he actually invited her to his wake? I'm not sure what advice I need, but maybe just some affirmation as to what my heart already knows? Thanks :-(
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