Esophorus

Thank you ladies (and gentlemen too) for all your comments. I truly appreciate it. I think you two hit the proverbial nail on the head with this. Truth be told, my wife has not once used the word “bisexual”. I have been the only one to use that term. In part because I didn't know how else to describe or explain what I had witnessed. My wife has told me she has no interest in pursing a relationship with another woman. However, she has admitted that she would like to experience same-sex sex again (she really enjoyed her evening with those ladies). This is actually not the first time this has happened to her. When she was in college (before we met). She ended up in a threesome with two men at a fraternity party. From what I know of the story, she was apprehensive, concerned about her reputation, but also very aroused. She doesn't regret it, but has acknowledged that if the situation had been just a little different it would have never happened. My wife is wrestling with a lot of guilt. Since we are still new to this I'm not sure how you all will react to this, but the truth is we have a very strong marriage. Even though I have forgiven her and am being very supportive, I can tell it bothers her that she did this behind my back. I agree with this 100%. And I have told my wife this. Truth be told, my original thought when I first saw what was happening was that I was going to get to watch it all and one of my fantasies (i.e., seeing my wife with another woman) was going to be fulfilled. When the hostess approached I was in fact a coward. I should have spoke up and maybe she would have let me watch given the circumstances. Maybe not, but we'll never know. I would say that the situation took me by surprise as much as it did my wife. I was truly torn. I was upset she didn't talk to me about it, I was upset I was missing it, but at the same time I knew my wife was enjoying it so much on some level I would have felt guilty if I stopped it and ruined it for her. My wife asked me if she had come to me after being invited upstairs and asked my thoughts if I would have approved, and I can honestly answer yes. Thank you again for all your insight.

Ladies, I need your advice. I have tried asking for help on a forum for bisexual women but have been rebuffed (as in my account terminated and message deleted because I was not a woman). So I joined this forum in hopes that some of you can offer me some insight into the female mind. Here is the situation. My wife and I are in our mid-40's. We have been together for almost 20 years and have two kids. We have talked at great length about getting into swinging, but have never made a serious effort to do it. Several weeks ago we were invited to a party by a friend of a friend. We went with two other couples (our friends, and their friends whom we don't know that well). We didn't know anyone else there, but we are very social so we didn't mind. While we were at the party, we learned from the friends of our friends that our host and hostess (as well as several of their guests) were swingers. Since my wife and I had already discussed the idea of swinging we were not bothered by this (though I distinctly got the feeling that the other couple was telling us this just to gossip). Despite our not being bothered by this the husband of this couple felt it necessary to reassure us that this was not a “swinger party”. However, he did add the caveat that our host and hostess did throw very wild parties. Our friends had to leave early (a phone call from the babysitter that they had a sick child). Soon after that their friends (who had invited us) also left (they got into an argument). Since we had drove ourselves and had met a lot of new people we didn't mind. So we stayed, had a few more drinks, etc. About 11 pm I went upstairs to look for my wife. I had been playing pool in the basement with several other men and had last seen my wife socializing with a group of women upstairs. When I came upstairs I did not notice her in the living room (it was a split-level house). As I walked by the second flight of stairs leading to the bedrooms I noticed that there were two men hanging around the door to the master bedroom looking in. I walked up and glanced over their shoulder. On the bed was my wife, laying on her back, with a woman between her legs going down on her. Another woman was straddling my wife's face. Although I could not see her face I could tell that she was licking this woman's pussy. The woman was running her fingers through my wife's hair and grinding her crotch into my wife's face. I could also see my wife's hands moving up and around, caressing the woman's hips and ass. The thing is, my wife has repeatedly told me she is NOT bisexual! I was dumbfounded to say the least. I will not lie, I was incredibly turned on by what I was seeing, but I could not believe she was doing it. I stood there with the two other guys (in complete silence) and watched. Within a few minutes the hostess came walking up the stairs with another woman and loudly announced “Sorry boys, this is for ladies only!”. The two of them then proceeded past us into the bedroom. As the hostess began shutting the door I could see the other woman who had accompanied her upstairs begin to disrobe. I spent the rest of the night in the living room at the bottom of the stairs with one eye up the hallway. Needless to say I was feeling a wash of strong emotions. To be honest, I wasn't actually that angry about her infidelity (I call it infidelity since we had never decided as a couple to actually pursue swinging yet). I was more upset by the fact that she had always told me she wasn't bisexual and the fact that she was doing this alone (like most men I fantasize about watching my wife with another woman and I was missing out on the chance to see it!). I pretended to need to use the bathroom a lot and would sneak down the hallway from the upstairs bathroom to listen in at the bedroom door. I heard everything from moaning, giggling, small talk (which I could not make out), and all out laughter – it was obvious my wife was having a great time with these ladies. About 1:30 in the morning, when most the guests had left (or found other bedrooms, I honestly don't know). The door to the master bedroom finally opened up. Looking up the stairs I watched as the five women filed out and came downstairs. After reaching the bottom of the stairs they all told my wife how great it was meeting her and each gave her a full kiss on the lips (a couple with tongue), which my wife reciprocated. I honestly don't think my wife even realized I was there as this was happening. After the last kiss, I asked her if she was ready to go and her face turned ashen. She meekly said she was and we left the party. We drove home in silence. I wasn't sure where to start and to be honest I just wanted to get home. The next morning we had a long talk about what happened. My wife explained to me that she did not plan for any of that to happen. When I questioned her about her behavior (and even asked if she had lied to me about her sexuality) she said that she never had bisexual feelings when she was younger but she had been fantasizing about being with other women for several years and over the last couple years had found herself physically attracted to other women. She told me that she felt an immediate connection with the woman I had seen going down on her while they were talking downstairs. And that as the night progressed the woman became very flirtatious with her, until it culminated in a kiss and an invitation upstairs, which my wife accepted. Before going upstairs with her this woman excused herself and spoke with the hostess. My wife said she had no idea it was going to be a group sex thing. She said it started with just her and the woman who had kissed her. Then the woman who I had seen straddling her face came in and asked my wife is she could join in. My wife admitted to being both apprehensive and aroused by this but that she did tell her yes. My wife said that before straddling her this woman asked her if she wanted to lick her pussy, to which my wife again replied yes. It was after this that I saw what was going on. My wife said she had no idea that the two other men and I were watching. I asked my wife if she went down on any of the other women (after the door was shut) and she told me she went down on all of them, more than once, and that they all went down on her multiple times as well. I asked her why she kept saying yes and at first she said she doesn't know but then admitted it was because she wanted to do it. Here is where I need your insight ladies. I have forgiven my wife and we are working past this. However, I am still having a tough-time believing that a woman who was straight 20 years ago could end up in a “lesbian-orgy” in her 40's. My wife is sticking to this story and has told me that it isn't uncommon for a woman's sexuality to change throughout her life (she has a friend who did not come out as a lesbian until she was in her late 30's). Is this accurate? Is it plausible that my wife really was straight 20 years ago but could now be bisexual? If this has happened to any of you, I would very much like to know. If there is any truth to this I will accept my wife's answer and we will move on. If this isn't accurate then it means we have a lot more to work out and I would desperately like to know that as well. Thank you.