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iIANVARIVS

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  • Content Count

    7
  • Joined

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17 Good

About iIANVARIVS

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 07/29/1972

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Canada
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. I realize I'm late to respond but I would like to toss in my two cents. I would not assume what your husband says and reality are in fact the same thing. My wife and I have been in the lifestyle for years. We have had a few full swap encounters but we really have moved at a slow pace. Slow to always move at a pace that my wife was comfortable with. When we would go to clubs or a resort my wife would always describe me as being the ready one. She is the one moving at a slower pace. I am as you describe your husband, no reservations at all. Recently we were on vacation at a lifestyle resort and we meet a very attractive, much younger than myself, single male. My wife was smitten with this man. They flirted none stop for days. He asked to fuck and she spoke to me about it. I said no! We have sinse talked it through. I admitted I was insecure. They were showering each other with attention and I felt left out. Looking back on it I really wish I would have aloud her to play with this man. He was/is a ten in her eyes. The dude has a six pack! She is still on cloud nine that he chose her. Anyway I said no and she told him no! That was the end of that. We have talked it through and I'll be better equipped to deal with these kinds of feelings in the future. She better understands that I need attention during this courting process. More so than normal lol! My point is your husband can be 100% confident he is fine with you being with another person (even saying you can have a regular guy) and that can change in a moment. You need to know what you are feeling is NORMAL. Communicating is key. I wasn't jealous until I was! When my wife seen I was uncomfortable with the situation it was the end of the situation. Now I know it's her and me and the rest is just a little fun. She will shut down a perfect 10 if I need her to. The next time these feeling s come up I'll be better equipped to continue on. Knowing she would pass on an opportunity like that because she see's I'm upset gives me the confidence to know we're in the right place. She is ready to be with a single guy alone. I'm rambling on. Feeling jealous and insecure is part of swinging. Working through this and communication is also part of the lifestyle. Don't assume because your husband says it's all good that he won't in fact need you to reassure him in the future. He is likely feeling more like you than you imagine. Good luck, enjoy the fun and sexy times ahead.
  2. Thanks for the advice everyone. I didn't realize it's common. I'll talk to my play partner and let her know I’m really turned on by her. The fact I have a hard time finishing has nothing to do with her turnng me on. I'll let her know if things start to run long I’m ready to wrap things up anytime she is. Last time we played we exchanged text messages the next day and she said she was a little sore. She didn't in any way indicate that was a bad thing, but it's kind of added to the anxiety. Maybe just knowing we can stop without me popping will be enough to allow me to let go and I'll actually finish quicker.
  3. I’m curious as to how to handle an issue of not being able to cum. With my wife I am able cum somewhere between five and ten minutes. When I play with others it seems impossible to achieve orgasm. A condom is definitively part of the problem. When we play with couples we don’t know very well we always use condoms. I don’t think the condom is the real issue though. We have a close play couple that have been our friends for over fifteen years. We full swap with this couple without protection. Even without wearing a condom it takes me upwards of a half hour to cum. Even then, to cum in a half hour I have to fuck hard and I’m not sure she’s enjoying twenty plus minutes of pounding. I don’t know why but I start to feel pressure to wrap things up and that seems to make things worse. My wife and the other guy are done and it seems like everyone is waiting for me to pop. How do I tell our play friends I’d rather not always cum? At first I was thinking yeah, I'm Superman. Now it's stressing me out. Nobody wants to feel stressed when they're playing. I'd prefer to fuck long enough to know we’ve all had fun and then just quit. I’ll finish later with my wife. I don’t want to offend anyone. It’s not her, it’s me… And… why does this not happen with my wife. She can climb on top of me and slowly ride me to orgasm in five minutes???
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