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lwg8tr0514

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    13
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15 Good

About lwg8tr0514

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 05/01/1966

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Pittsburgh
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. Well I am in no contact now, it is over. I am moving on and going to get be in a mindset of being single again. Learned a little about myself in all this. Stings like hell now but in a few weeks or months will see this relationship for what it was, I was a good bf until I "went on the carpet", till she lost a little control. My boundary crossing was not about sex, it was about her controlling me.
  2. Lunch did not go well, was ambush, she spent an hour haranguing me and sounded more angry than ever, relationship right now in limbo, ehhh wome?
  3. Well yesterday got a text, I think some of the fury of her anger has abated. Meeting today for lunch to talk and discuss what happened. Really all I kind of wanted, to have a civil conversation away from the heat of acute jealousy and hurt feelings. I was never a peace at any cost kind of guy but I am willing to talk and discuss the issue last week and some of the deeper issues why the situation provoked such a visceral response. I won't accept any browbeating or berating, never have. I chose this relationship and don't need to be in it. Being a successful, educated , reasonably good looking and caring guy I could be in the arms of another woman fairly quickly or choose not be in at all. Can't say I was always like that but lots of therapy, getting over a painful divorce and the help of God made me put romantic relationships in perspective. What will be curious if she can accept it was the half a bottle of rum, the fluidity of the situation and the raw lust in that room that caused some boundaries to be treaded on. I do care for this woman, she has many qualities I am looking for but this last episode has me very concerned. I don't need to swing or engage in unconventional sexuality, this was a fantasy we both wanted to indulge in. I would never sacrifice love or a good relationship over it.
  4. Well as of this AM still no word from her. I know this is not a realtionship board per se so I wont inflict my relationship drama on the rest of you. I learned a lesson here about the person I want to choose to spend my time and share my heart with. Being with a person who expects perfection and is intolerant of flaws and human foibles is not someone I can spend time with long term. I am a little disappointed in her. I know I transgressed in our agreement but there was no malice or deciet involved. I was a good, loyal, loving, caring, thoughtful BF. I won't do the sour grapes thing but now I know why her past at 45 years is littlered with about dozen failed relationships including a lone 2 year marriage which he walked out and never looked back. I was so stupid not to see the signs. Oh well why they call it dating not marrying.
  5. I agree with what you said and I am getting on with my life. I was contrite and told her I am here to talk when she is. All I can do. Better to find out at a year as bf/gf than 5 years into a marriage. I really expected more of her, but then again some people love Pyrrhic victories to the detriment of their long term happiness. No more swinging for me, I leaving this one as a fantasy I keep to myself.
  6. Well that is water under the bridge at this point, we had rules I violated them. I make no excuses, I was weak and took liberties. I think this is a self answering question. I am really trying to empathize here with her, but she will not talk to me about it. All I get is the attempts at making me feel guilty, to get me hang myself in the basement over her hurt.
  7. Well I am bewildered about this scenario. I can understand breakups , I am a big boy had quite of few, been dumper and dumpee too many times. Our relationship was awesome I thought, but I imagine I hit some deep painful nerve that caused this reaction. If she wants to remain in this stance, fine she was not for me and I was not for her. I would like to discuss it. I am puzzled if you have serious jealousy and control issues wtf agree to go to a swing club. Like taking a dieter to a Crispy Creme and beating them unconscious for licking a doughnut. My swinger friend are advising me run don't walk for this one, you got shit tested royally and failed the worst possible way. Some women shit test, looking for failure in men.
  8. GF and I have been attending a local swing club here in New Jersey. We had boundaries where she would play with women and men could not have intercourse with her, I was only interested in watching no contact at all. She encouraged me to pursue this fantasy to make it happen, to express myself. We went to the club about a 1/2 dozen times, no incident, she had some same room same sex contact, was fairly r-rated. Saturday we go and we are a little drunk, we head upstairs to the couples room, we see a couple we had talked to downstairs, Us guys are getting blown by our women on a large leather sofa. The girls are groping each others tits and sneaking in a kiss or two. All good so far. GF and I decide to retire to a private room, I invite the couple in, GF makes no objection. Well we all get naked and all manner of things happen on the bed, the guy and I sucking my GF's tits while his wife fingers her, him fingering my GF, etc. I at this point have not touched the other woman. My GF eats his wife from behind while him and I jerkoff and watch. Ok so far so good. Later I am on my back on one side of the bed, GF is blowing me, The other wife on all fours he is fucking her. He leans over and sees my GF ass up in the air and well uses her pussy like a sock puppet, which from her moans and pauses she loves, he is really finger fucking her. Ok my crime, the other wife leans over and kisses me on the mouth, my GF sees but says nothing. MY GF is cumming like crazy and the other wife scoots her head down and sucks my cock for 30 seconds. GF seees this freaks and hops off the bed. Later after a silent ride home she explodes, calls me a cheater, liar, etc. I broke the rules. I know I did, I am so sorry I did. I thought we could calm down talk about it. I explained I had no excuse I got caught up in the moment, I was sorry and we could table swinging forever. She left the car, slammed the door. Three days went by no contact I get a text yesterday.."I do not want to see you anymore, come pick up your stuff, I am heartbroken you threw away a year and my unconditional love." I thought it was a little melodramatic, I again apologized but she would have none of it. Officially as of this AM we are broken up. She has sent me a couple of texts saying how much she has cried, how I disappointed her. She also went into this diatribe about how could a man want to swing, a larger philosophical attack on why I brought her there. I swear guys on a stack of bibles this idea was totally mutual, we talked about it as neausuem, I kept taing her temperature on it. She kept saying how it was naughty, sexy and fun. Obviously she lied and WAS doing it for me under protest. Is it me guys or am I getting the death penalty for a parking ticket here?
  9. Read through this thread and the OP reminded me of myself 3 years ago. Well what broke our logjam, what ended the selfishness, the depravity, the dishonesty, was my ex dropping the bomb on my on the night of her 40th birthday that she was no longer in love with me and wanted a divorce. Wow, was I shocked, my whole world disappeared under my feet. My narcissism kicked in and a few angry weeks of me yelling at her telling her I was the best she could get, all the way to down in the gutter to outright insults like, "Well you're a fat prude anyways." I descended into a much deserved hole of black depression, anxiety attacks and 40lb weight loss. My ex was resolute and was done with me, finito. She filed quickly and refused to talk anything about our marriage, no counseling, she just wanted out, she was DONE. Took me a solid year to get my sea legs back, to become a better person to fess up to what an absolute piece of sh*t I was. After the initial anger of the divorce subsided, took a whole year. Ex and I began talking, really talking, we came clean about everything, mine was the rare woman who had NO idea what I was doing. She admitted to me a sexual dalliance and an emotional affair a few years ago with a guy she met at karate. That floored me, but I listened without judgment. We realized we had no passion as a couple, we were friends sharing bills, got married too young, I was a typical jackass but completely ignoring her needs on a regular basis and she said she after a few years began to ignore mine. What we had was not a marriage of intimacy, but a marriage of lies, airs and appearances. It was cathartic. Tears rolled down my face as I asked her for forgiveness , how I was awful, how I made her feel all those years. We had a warm embrace and she looked me in the eyes crying and said she would always love me and I was forgiven and she wished me happiness in my life. Owning up to your sins and asking forgiveness is part of being human. Also what is part of being human is NOT DOING THEM again. I went through intensive therapy, went on meds for depression, and took time for myself to know who I was. Well a postscript is I met a great woman, a woman I was honest form day one with. She is a sexual tiger and enthusiastically into the sex the way I like it. She was a great fit. We talk about anything and I feel no desire anymore to be BAD, to be dishonest. I fixed my compass and take precautions not become THAT guy anymore. I have no female friends, the internet is for entertainment not social networking and chatting. We have been to a club now a few times and it was MORE than I expected. My squeeze the other Saturday night says to me.."I am so glad I finally met a guy open about what he wants and his sexuality, men brag about being sexual but really are not on average." I have better moorings now, a better sense of self and no need anymore to cheat and be dishonest. If I feel that way I will break it off with her, save her the pain and me the shame.
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