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Bob and I

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Bob and I last won the day on December 26 2012

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About Bob and I

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  • Birthday 07/04/1976

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    Nebraska
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  1. That makes so much sense to me. Carol (the conventional, legal wife of my other husband Tom) is bi (and wishes she could be bi with me) and she and Tom have a history in the swinging world, while Bob (my conventional husband) and I have never touched the swinging world. So there's one more data point confirming the study. Would love to have you point us all to the study.
  2. 25 Jan -- what would the Commander-in-Chief think? The US Government put me through veterinary school (bet you didn't think that was possible) just like they put doctors though school and I loved "paying for it" with my military service. I was happy and proud to be serving and honored to be allowed to pay for my schooling through service rather than, gulp, student loans. And I got some very interesting assignments. As a large animal vet I never had to fuss with officer's wives' kitty-cats or embassy pets either. Instead I got to look after some base horses and also look after livestock in places you don't know we have military. That gave me a chance to facilitate the operations of some of our elite military and to do win-hearts-and-minds work by tending to local citizen's livestock. Could it get any better for a farm girl? And the sex was great too. As previously mentioned, while in the military I remained engaged and loyal to my life-long partner and now legal husband, Bob. But Bob and I were always good to go with hall passes and so I got to make a lot of soldiers happy, while getting lots of good sex too. There were obstacles to navigate of course. I can be strong and intimidating, so it was almost never a problem for me with the soldiers we're been reading in the papers about who think they can casually rape the women soldiers. Two things were more of a problem, though not as hard a problem as you might think. One was guys two made the mistake of falling in love with me; the other was the women who wanted to have sex with me. I wasn't the least bisexual in those days, though I wish I had been. That could have led to some tender moments and some more lovely sex. But it was not to be, and I had to carefully dance in a way that communicated that I wasn't available for sex but I was available for soldierly sisterhood. With a few bumps on the road it all worked out. Rank was another problem too. The military is fussy about sex up and down the chain of command and sex across disparate ranks, especially officer and enlisted. So that got a bit tricky. But, for the most part, I got to fuck who I wanted without repercussions and without being taken as a slut. Who dares call a Captain a slut? The military so strongly admires the personality of the kind of person who knows how to take command. And so people easily understood who and what I was and nobody messed with me. And every man I slept with knew I had a fiancee at home who I was fiercely loyal to. But all that above isn't what inspired me to be writing this. What set this little essay in motion is recent events in our military. The full and complete acceptance (in policy, if not yet in practise) of our gays and lesbians. And just now, just yesterday, the announcement that combat positions will become open to our women military. That's just great. The next frontier for our military, I guess, is the bushel of lifestyles that we all find on this board. Example, me. I now have two husbands. I know What Would Jesus Think, thanks to my pastor and my prayers, but what would the Commander-in-Chief think? That's an interesting question.
  3. 12 - Jan 25 -- talk to my minister I was raised to be a good wife and that's how my mother measured her own life. I began to wonder what kind of person I was. Eventually I needed to talk about it to my minister. I hoped for guidance; expected criticism. What I got was a rambling lecture on early life on the prairies for Lutherans and what it meant and what they had to do to survive and what it meant for them to thrive and what this meant and what that meant and so on. And how life was hard for many widows and widowers. I came away confused and felt I hadn't been helped at all. Later I came to the conclusion that he was telling me something else. I think he was telling me that if I was a Good Wife each day, the rest didn't matter. Just he didn't have what it took to say it to me straight, so he gave me his old-times-on-prairie routine. In subsequent church meetings, his wife seemed to make a point of giving me a warm hug. And said to me one day, "You can be a good wife. Each day we can chose to be a good wife. Be that good wife." I think she knew what being a good wife each day meant for me that isn't the same as it is for other women. The most telling thing I heard from my pastor, which his wife echoed, was that I shouldn't feel I need to come to church alone. They're telling me that each of my husbands would be welcome at services. My take-a-way was that they know I'm now living with two husbands, in alteration, and they're not disapproving of that. They want me to be a good wife to each husband and be a good Lutheran. I guess the values that the rigors of sod-busting settling instilled in the church of Luther live on a century and a half later. This hasn't meant a thing to either Bob or Tom, my two husbands, but it means a lot to me. Bedtime with each of my husbands has felt better, in a subtle way that's hard to describe. And I feel more at peace working with my animal patients.
  4. Tom and Carol told us a rather sweet story Tom and Carol told us a rather sweet story. Some years ago they were going to vacation at a nude resort and although there’s usually plenty of action at places like that, they didn’t plan to do any swinging, but just enjoy themselves in the sun. Carol had a vanilla girlfriend who like to sun and wasn’t prudish, so they invited her to join them. For the several days they were there Tom and Carol kept it vanilla so that the friend would be comfortable. When they were out in public they acted like, well, like they were out in public. On the last full day there, though, while they were lying out in the sun, Tom with a towel over his face and a girl on either side, felt Carol’s hand fondling him. He was surprised since that strayed from their keep-the-friend-comfortable rule; but of course he was enjoying it. Then he felt another hand join in. Soon he went from just a little aroused to fully hard. The hands withdrew and moments later Carol’s friend got up and straddled him, sinking onto his cock. (Later Tom learned from Carol that she encouraged it with silent gestures. We wondered if Carol and the girlfriend hadn't planned it all earlier in the day, but Carol wasn’t saying.) So the girl began a slow steady rhythm up and down Tom’s cock. Tom went on to tell us that soon the tempo picked up and the girl friend had a climax. (Tom and Carol had made love not long before, so Tom wasn’t anywhere near coming, even with the thrill of being inside someone new and nice.) The girl sat still on him for a while and then began moving again, continuing until she had a second climax; then she climbed off and lay down where she had been. Carol told us that she could see that Tom hadn't come, so she climbed on him as the friend had done and they slow-fucked until both of them came. Carol lay down, as her friend had done, and not a word was spoken. The rest of the day passed with seeming innocence, but that night they had a three-some which both Tom and Carol described to us more like friendship bonding than swingers swinging. After they got home, their vanilla friendship continued, as though nothing had happened. They said it was a "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" moment. Which they were very pleased with. They knew, intuitively, that Carol's friend wasn’t going to change her lifestyle and they had been worried that the friendship would be damaged; but it wasn’t. Some time later, having moved, they lost touch with the girl. Carol said about her friend "there will come a time or two in her life when she will say to someone, Let me tell you about an adventure I had . . . " I found this a very sweet story.
  5. Jan 16 - Carol came over for coffee. Carol came over for coffee on Wednesday and we bragged to each other how terrific it was to each have two lovers. Then she asked me if I’d like to have three. Never done that before. But nothing ventured, so I went to bed with her. It was fun but it’s not me. I wasn’t built for that. Don’t think I’ll be doing it again. Oh -- and I wasn't being a good wife, either. I'm not embarrassed about have taken a little fling with Carol. It was an experiment, it was an adventure and it was an opportunity to learn something about myself which might have been true but turned out not to be. No regrets, no shame, no embarrassment. And not disappointed with myself. But just to complete the ledger; I wasn't being a good wife.
  6. Jan 8 - a report on our fourth week end with Tom and Carol This week was much like the last and also much different. The week began on Monday like the Monday before -- recovering from the weekend with Tom and Carol and rushing into holiday preparations with all of our relatives. Of course celebrating New Year's is simpler and calmer than celebrating Christmas with all the children. Still, Monday was all holiday prep, Monday night was all family partying, Monday night was going to bed late and drink and bunking down in Mama's spare bedroom. Hung over and bleary Tuesday. Home Tuesday evening and spending the rest of the week getting ourselves back into shape, physically, mentally, spiritual for our next weekend with Tom and Carol. By Friday afternoon, we were bright eyed and bushy tailed and ready for our friends to arrive. What was different from the week before is that we weren't dying with lust; we were just eagerly looking forward to being together wtih them again. And they arrived, and we rushed into separate beds with them. When we emerged from our bedrooms, we were those two couples Bob and Carol, Tom and I. Friday morning I was Bob's wife. Friday evening I was Tom's wife. I've become very comfortable with this. And I know my Bob is too. During the days on Saturday and Sunday, there was this strange feeling. As couples, did we want to have sex with those other people, the ones that we are legally married to. That's a very strange thing. I felt strongly that I must be faithful to my weekend husband Tom (as I was not faithful to him last weekend). It would not be right to have sex with my Bob. But I could play with him when all four of us are having sex play. That's kind of a funny thing, isn't it? So, some things went on this last weekend and it was pretty sexy. But mostly we were just two couples together for the days and the nights were willed with really wonderful sex with our weekend spouses. Friday night and Saturday night, I really loved being with my weekend spouse, Tom. The sex was great and just being intimate in bed with my weekend spouse Tom was great. Yet, Sunday afternoon, Bob and I, arm in arm, waved goodbye to Tom and Carol as they went off to their home, with no regrets. Sunday night, last night, Bob and I were very married. I don't feel any hesitation, any pause, any uncertainty when I change from my weekday spouse and my weekend spouse. I feel very comfortable with this and I believe I am a good wife at all times. I was brought up to be a good wife and I find, to my surprise, that I am a good wife each day of the week. I'm getting ready to talk to my minister about this. That's the story of our fourth weekend with Tom and Carol.
  7. Those who can read between the lines will know that I'm drunk as I write this. But there are things I believe I owe you. I believe I owe you a more honest exposition of what's going on in my emotions. And I believe I owe you something more about what's going on this this strange group of four people, Bob and I, Tom and Carol. And I owe you more in context about our life on the prairie. You city and mountain and coastal folks have no idea of what prairie life is. And I owe you some insight into one -- just one -- of the many hidden things about America. In this case, about how American history has swept through the Great Plains and left . . . shall we delicately say, left it's mark? And I owe you stories, unresolved stories, about what is happening with the four of us. It is very much pulling in two directions. For simplicity I'll say that we're being pulled into the world of the SwingersBoard and we're being pulled into the world of our ancestors -- which on the one hand was very conventional yet on the other hand was very, well, sexual. I owe you a number of essays, and I'll try to fulfill that debt. Why do I feel there is a debt? Because, unbeknownst to you folks, while we (I) have been blogging here about us being strangers in a strange land (with constant thoughts of we're-just-visiting, we're-not-one-of-one, we've been learning from the board that we are much more one of you than we had the courage to admit to ourselves and to you. So we owe you some essays and since I'm Mde Articulate in this group of four lusty bodies, it falls to me. Stay tuned.
  8. Since my Bob and I have connected with Tom and Carol, our sex life, my sex life, has really changed. Yes, you know that Tom and I are spending nights together so I am having sex with him. And you know that we four are doing some sex play together as friends who went from being friends who spend weekends together to being friends who spend weekends having sex together. That's all be laid out there in these little messages. These posts that I have written to get off my chest what I might otherwise burst out onto someone who would be shocked. No, this is about how Bob's and my sex life has changed. You won't be surprised, I think, if I told you either that Bob and I were exhausted from our weekends and we cooled it during the week; nor, I think, would you be surprised if I told you that our weekend experiences had us totally energized, and our sex life together had gone up. Well, it's the later. Bob used to want sex about every other day; I wanted sex every day, but just once a day ("one and done" that was me). Now we've become, as they say, like rabbits. Bob wants to have me every night. And most mornings. And calls me during the day saying he wishes he could make a quick trip home. When he's home from work, we usually pounce on each other. So that means we now have sex every day, most days twice, some days three times. Geez. Thirty year olds acting like twenty year olds. This can't go on forever, but boy is it sure good now.
  9. Before going any further with relating the experience of our weekends with Tom and Carol, I should pause to note how it has changed our lives. I'll do it in two parts, before Tom and Carol and since. It will set a lot of context for you to understand what's going on. I should tell you about our sex lives, Bob and I. Sex has always been easy and uncomplicated for us. Completely uncomplicated. We have sex when we go to bed. Every night, just about, and only then, just about. Bob and I have had a very conventional and very gratifying sex life. From what you read, a lot of people would call it boring, but it's far from boring for us and we've never needed any extra thrills. How can sex ever become boring? That's what I don't understand when I hear of folks becoming bored with their sex life. Bob likes to have sex about three or four times a week. Dandy. So when he's feeling frisky, at bedtime we have a nice screw, cuddle and fall asleep. There's only three things we do, missionary, cowgirl, and doggie; cowgirl is my favorite, no surprise, but I love them all and there are times when each one is better than the others. We do nothing weird, no toys, no bondage or whatever. I think that's all a couple needs and Bob agrees. While Bob wants three or four times a week, I'm a once-a-day girl. I need my daily dose. Don't need more, but I do need that. So the night's when Bob isn't up for it, I usually rub off a nice one, while Bob hugs me and enjoys watching. On occasion he'll go down on me instead and that's a treat, but I don't feel the least bit deprived rubbing it off myself, especially when Bob's there with me. (It's less satisfying when he's away and I'm masturbating by myself, but that's life and I still get my daily dose.) I love putting him in my mouth, so often after we make love I'll lick him clean and maybe keep on licking for a while too. When Bob isn't on, I'm tempted to put him in my mouth, but then if I take him all the way and make him come, then I've just deprived the two of us of a roll in the hay together later. If I make him come in my mouth, I love it, but it also means it will be longer before he is ready to give me a good fuck. So I almost never do that. Except when I'm having my period. Neither of us likes it when I’m on my period, so I masturbate then and if Bob’s horny, I suck him off nicely. And there were two weeks or so when I wasn't allowed by my doctor to get it on with Bob, so I got to suck him off during that time and we did it nightly. We both loved it -- but once I was healed, neither of us wanted to continue with that. So that's the story of our sex life as it has been, until. Until we started getting sexual with our long-time friends Tom and Carol. Next I'll explain what impact that had on our sex lives.
  10. I have always known I was strong and safe, as my family raised me. Then I married my husband and I became even more stronger and safer. Sometimes after dark I walk out into our field, into the quiet, into the wind, into the moon and star light and into the smell of the earth. I stand with feet stride and arms folded and I know I am strong and safe and I can protect my husband, and my house and my domain, and all the animals under my care and any children whenever there might be children. My husband is strong and protects me. I am strong and I protect my husband. Each day. Each day my husband is under my care and he is safe. And the next day my husband is safe and protected. Both my husbands are safe and protected because they are under the bond of my care. Nothing can move this because I am under the protection of the God of Luther and I am a good wife. No harm can come to them. This is my testament.
  11. Dec 31 *- the completion of our third weekend with Tom and Carol Tom was jealous, I think, after my Bob had joined me in the shower and shagged me rough. Tom grabbed me after breakfast and also fucked me hard on his own. We rested for a good hour after than, and then rejoined my Bob and Carol. Dunno what they were up to, but that's their business. When Tom and I were resting, I said to him "don't worry, it's the weekend; I'm yours. I'm yours all weekend." And we kept it that way. I think everyone quietly sensed that for this long weekend, a weekend that would stretch through Sunday or Monday, that's four or five days, we had to be acting properly. Nothing behind people's backs. So we played it straight. For the rest of the weekend we behaved just like two married couples who like to hang out together; but Tom and I behaved as one married couple and my Bob and Carol behaved as the other married couple. We all knew what we wanted and we all knew our roles. We kept to them. This was something we discovered in an invisible way and we all understood in an invisible way. That didn't mean there wasn't four-play, hanky-panky, and lots of slap and tickle. That was a different matter. Friday afternoon we splashed in the hot tub, braving the chilly air. Saturday between lunch and afternoon nap we did our little orgy, as we had done before. And Sunday we played some sex games, which I'll tell you about later. But something had changed. We now knew all four of us that we each had two spouses; our weekday spouse and our weekend spouse. And it mattered that we were faithful to each. That's the part that really hit home emotionally. There was faithful behavior and there was unfaithful behavior. My letting Bob privately take me in the shower Friday morning was unfaithful to Tom; no matter that I'm married to Bob. Tom flirting with Carol, which he did, was unfaithful to me. We knew who we belonged to one day and who we belonged to the next day. And while swapping, away from the group, wasn't off the table, it was understood for what it was: unfaithful. And why cheat on one spouse, when you would soon be with your other spouse, freely, faithfully? I was brought up to be a good wife, a good wife in every way. And I understood what being a good wife now meant in this new situation we found ourselves in. If I wanted Bob when I was Tom's wife, tough for me. I would have to wait. And how hard could waiting be? After all, longing is a big part of love and also a big part of sex. If I wanted Bob when I was Tom's wife, all I had to do was wait until I was Bob's wife again. How hard could that be? If our first weekend of having sex together changed everything, as a beginning, this weekend changed everything with clarity. Each of us understood that each of us was married to one person; one person at a time. But we got the special privilege of it not being the same person all the time. Oddly, we didn't talk this through for some time. First we came to understand it with our guts. Later, days later on Monday morning we talked it through to our heads. So that's what really happened on our third weekend together. The weekend lasted from the Thursday afternoon when we greeted Tom and Carol dressed in our bathrobes, and extended to Monday morning, rather than the customary Sunday evening. Nearly four full days, four rich nights with our new weekend spouses. I have it so rich. It's so rich I just can't understand it, it's so good. (Now it's New Year's Eve and like Christmas Eve, we'll be spending it with our families. Then on to continuing our new lives.)
  12. Friday Dec 28 * the start of our third weekend with Tom and Carol The holidays are, of course, crazy. Last Sunday afternoon we said goodbye to Tom and Carol, closing our second weekend with them. Monday was devoted to all kinds of Xmas prep and cooking and such. Monday night, Christmas eve, over to relatives, ping-ponging between my family -- two branches -- and Bob's -- three branches, but happily all in one location. Overnight back at my folks and then the usual Christmas day madness. Then back home. What was our third weekend with Tom and Carol going to be? The holidays and some days off work (and some days not off work that you think should be off work) complicated everything. Last weekend we made a mutual decision that we would play it cool and keep our next get together to the two days, the 48 hours it had been each weekend so far, even though the opportunity for a lot more presented itself. That was very sensible. By Wednesday afternoon, the 26th, Bob and I were getting nudgy. By mid-day Thursday, yesterday, we were going nuts with lust. We called Tom and Carol and they weren't surprised to be hearing from us. Over a few hours we and they dispatched some holiday obligations and they were headed our way. Bob and I answered our door dressed in just bathrobes. I grabbed Tom, Bob grabbed Carol and off we went. It was the longest and I think most enthusiastic separate bedroom bout we had yet had. Afterwards we play backgammon and Monopoly in front of the fire, accompanied by some touchy-feely. Dinner was Christmas left overs. After, we watched a game on TV. Then we retired to our bedrooms for a night of cross-wedded bliss. The next morning, now, Friday morning as I'm writing this, while I was in the shower my Bob grabbed me for a quicky. Bob and I have mostly tender loving sex, but this was different. From time to time it's nice to be manhandled by your man. We came out smiling broadly and I hope it didn't make Tom or Carol jealous. I'm writing just after that. That's the report on the third weekend so far. More later.
  13. Saskatchewan! Your province makes our Nebraska look practically urban. (We know, we've driven the prairie provinces for two fun camping vacations.) How ever do you find people to play with, let alone other bi's let alone other bi-bi couples? Sounds very NiN (Not in Nebraska).
  14. This is a very late comment to this discussion, but I think I have something key to add. Humiliation can be a very hard thing to get over. I think many people will be willing to do themselves a great deal of harm, while running away from humiliation. And it can be all but impossible to turn around and face the humiliation, get past it, and move on with their lives. That's what I think is going on here. I don't have any useful ideas about mending this marriage, I just have my insight into what's really going on here. The I of Bob and I
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