Bristol65

Update I have signed up for kasidie and am really just absorbing what other couples' stories are. The wife and I are thinking of a Vegas trip in the next few months and think the Red Rooster might be our speed for a first try. I'm still not convinced were made of the stuff to be an active participant in the lifestyle, but investigating and the interesting conversations between my wife and I have been fun. Thanks again

We live about 30 minutes east of LA. Yes there are quite a few clubs, but again our reluctance and insecurities have us second guessing. Some of the popular LA clubs sound as if they are a playground for young and Hollywood perfect couples and there are others that sound sketchy. We talked last night and we thought that maybe we could make a visit to vegas around January or February. We were kinda getting the impression that vegas has clubs with more people just seeing what the scene is like. If someone has a glowing recommendation for an inland Empire club, we'd consider it.

First, let me say thank you for the replies. In this last year we have visited sites like SLS and AFF, but we always shied away from paying for a membership in which we might not take advantage. Are the sites worth the membership fees? Are they a good fit for a 40 year old couple. Are people patient for a hesitant couple? We were very close to visiting a club a while back. We decided that we were going to find a club and we had established ground rules that we were going to visit without any type of participation. I was given the job to find one that seemed right. A lot of the local clubs seem to make her uncomfortable with bra and panty dress codes and descriptions of orgy rooms. Actually, not only her, I am uncomfortable with that too. Also, although I find her absolutely gorgeous, she feels her forty year old body after two kids have made her not fit into something like that. We even talked about visiting a club during a trip to Vegas but that trip fell through. We have become more adventurous though and discussing the real possibility has become a favorite activity of ours. Use of sex toys with threesome fantasies, dressing sexier for a dinner date and talking about men at the bar that she'd be interested in, and we even almost skyped with a guy once have all led to a very fulfilling sex life. As I said before, I really feel that since I did not push to make any of these fantasies a reality, she was much more likely to share more and thus more adventurous in role play. I can't help wondering though, if we ever find the perfect combination of circumstances in which we might take that next step, well, that just might be beyond our wildest imaginations. Anyway, I still contemplate what could be the next step that we could do together and I appreciate this board for those that listen and help me work though these steps. So, maybe a Vegas trip and a visit to the Red Rooster in which we decide to just get used to what a club visit is like might be a good plan? Advice on finding a newbie friendly local Southern California club could be helpful. Recommendation on websites that fit us and would be worth membership fees?

I first joined the board and posted a question about a year and a month ago. Back then my wife surprised me with her fantasy about watching another couple have sex. I got a lot of helpful advice and realized how supportive this forum really is. We played with the idea of visiting a swinger club as newbies with the understanding that nothing would happen on our first visit. We decided we were not ready to take that step and I really didn't want anything forced. I'm glad I didn't because I believe she felt safe to share other fantasies without the pressure of fulfilling them. I have enjoyed a year of exciting bedroom role play due to this "trust". So, why am I posting my second thread? We recently had the conversation around the question "which of our fantasies that we pretend to act on would be the most likely you'd like to bring to fruition?" I shared first and when her turn came she again surprised me with how serious she was. She shared that she would like to watch a man masturbate for her. She actually shocked me by telling me about her research on craigslist which she decided would not work (too creepy). Anyway, last time the advice was really helpful and I'm unsure what would be the best thing to do. Would the club be the best thing to consider again? How would we know if and when we might be ready for that step? Any advice on how a rather conservatively raised 40ish year old couple might best overcome the initial uncomfortableness?

We have discussed it and we are not going to be visiting a club at this time. We're just not ready to take the next step, yet. Even though, we are looking for clubs that would at least limit single males, have something like a voyeur room, and allows watching while remaining clothed just in case we feel differently later. We have been searching the websites mentioned on this thread, the club section, and the Internet but we can't seem to determine if a club is for us. Are the replying posters allowed to recommend clubs to newbies like us? We live in Upland, Ca. She is mid thirties and I just turned 40. We might prefer to travel just out of our community for our first time, but not for hours. We also might be in Vegas this Winter if that is a better option for us. Thanks again for all the helpful information.

I spoke with my wife at dinner tonight and thought I replied using the iphone. Guess not, I'll try again. My wife was very shocked that what she asked me to investigate was actually considered part of the swinging lifestyle. I think that we both had negative connotations with the word "swinging" and she did not seem very interested in visiting a swinging club or taking a personal ad out. She did continue and ask some questions that I did not have answers to, so I would like to ask a few more questions from our conversation. This is why I tried to post from the iphone, I think I might have forgotten some of what we discussed. I'll do the best I can. - What is a club experience like? What kind of people would you meet and talk to? Do you show up at a house? Is it fairly discreet? - Are there primarily single men that go to the clubs? Are there couples only clubs that would fit into what I described earlier? - Are there any websites, videos, or movies that are close to demonstrating what a real experience might be like? (Every Google search seems to take me to what seems like staged porn) - How would we be able to discern what club would be best for us? Obviously were looking for a more mild club that has voyeur rooms that would be ok if we remained clothed at least the first time. If you cannot tell, we are leaning to not visiting a club at this time, but we would like to make an informed decision and not one just on ignorance and fear. Thanks again.

My wife and I were discussing fantasies and I am here trying to find out if what she asked for is something out there and if it would fall into the swinging lifestyle. She asked me to find out if there is a way in which we as a couple could watch another couple have sex. She said the first time she would want us to stay clothed and watch another couple. She admitted that if she liked it she could see being naked and possibly having sex in the same room, but strickly no touching between couples. Please no harsh responses. It is a real question and actually a very big step for us. Thanks