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Ready2JaM

Registered
  • Content Count

    25
  • Joined

Community Reputation

17 Good

About Ready2JaM

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 11/28/1978

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple Male/female
  • Location
    Florida
  • Swinging Experience
    3 years
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    ready2jam
  1. I've heard of a lot of horror stories and can't decide which is worse, so I will tell you our worst. We had a vanilla party and invited a couple that we used to play with on a regular basis for about 2 years. I will call them Bill and Barb. Now we hadn't played with them in several months but were still friendly. The day before the party I (mrs jam) gets a text asking if they can bring a friend and I said the more the merrier. So bill barb and we will call their guest tom show up to our VANILLA party and things get strange really fast. Barb is sitting on Toms lap and Bill is serving food to Tom, while Barb feeds him. Our kids are there, friends kids are there, this is a family vanilla event! Later on Barb admits to a vanilla friend that her and Bill are swingers but getting a divorce and Tom is her BF! They didn't tell us any of this before hand and they came out to friends of ours they barely knew! So the next day I confronted Bill and he told me that Barb had created a single female profile on a site without his knowledge until she met Tom. They them started a MFM relationship that ended in the divorce of this couple that had been married for about 12 years. I couldn't believe they came out to our friends! We took a long break after this bc we were afraid they would out us something we do NOT want. Scary but we've moved on thank goodness.
  2. I love your avatar--taking into consideration how well it fits with your name! :D

  3. I just read most of this thread and we were once in an ongoing swinging relationship with a couple like you guys but at the time we didn't know, she was selfish and narcissistic, he was a doormat/enabler. The difference is they got into swinging as a couple and they were our firsts and vice versa. A few years later she set up a single profile on one of the sites and ended up with a boyfriend on the side, which caused their 12 year marriage to end in divorce. Her husband even offered to have a poly relationship with the two of them just to stay with her, needless to say it didn't happen. They almost outed us to our vanilla friends when she showed up to a vanilla party with her husband and boyfriend (we didn't know who he was at the time). Because of our experiences with them we took a loooooong break. Trust is essential and I think you are being an enabler because you are afraid to be alone and he is narcissistic and selfish, I've seen how this ends.....it doesn't end well.
  4. Completely agree with everything lascivious said! Understanding and communication may have greatly helped the situation
  5. Thanks for the input. We will be there Wednesday-Sunday and want to make sure we go a few times since we have to buy the membership and all. Thanks again!
  6. Hubby and I are heading to NOLA in about 2 weeks. We plan on visiting one of the two clubs while we are there. I was wondering which is better to attend? LOL. While I'm sure both are great, what are the pros and cons of each? TIA we really appreciate it!
  7. I will, we haven't made our profile public yet. We did change it up though since we hadn't been on our old one in about 2 years. I'm excited and so is my hubby to give it another go around. I think we have discussed boundaries more clearly now since this experience, which is good. We both learned a lesson that's for sure.
  8. I'm afraid to hurt feelings and I am a very nonconfrontational person, I would rather avoid the problem all together. Which I know isn't healthy, just the way I am, lol. But that being said if it does come up, we need to be honest. Thanks
  9. I really appreciate the advice, I can tell yo that it was exclusively her bringing things to him at work. I never received anything from him or her, although one time her husband told me he considered all of us polyamorous, I absolutely did not and neither did my husband. I guess that should have been another red flag that they were looking for more than we were. I'm just worried now, if they discover we are back on the scene that they will want to play with us again and I don't want to go down that road with them again.
  10. I trust my husband implicitly. That has nothing to do with it, I know he would never do anything without me. We have been together for a long time. He was more oblivious to her obsession than anything. I do trust him to handle come on's, but he didn't see it, I did. He is sitting next to me as I type this and said he still doesn't see it, he thought it was her being nice, lol.
  11. Thanks for your replies. It just seems so many SLS profiles I read want to be friends too. At this point in time I am almost wanting to keep the two things separate because of what has happened. How do you get around the whole friends thing? I'm not saying that a friendship couldn't develop over time, but I don't know if I want that going in this time. How do you all feel about that, do you look for friends first and then playmates? or The other way around, playmates and if they end up being friends than great?
  12. OK here is our situation. Mr Jam and I started to become interested in the lifestyle about 3 years ago. We met this one woman who ended up a little crazy (and an alcoholic) that ended after a very short encounter with her and her husband. No biggie there. Well next we began spending time with this one couple and at first we hit it off really well. They are very nice people and we did a lot with them in and out of the bedroom. We have kids the same age etc. Well, I believe she became very interested in Mr Jam. She would go and visit him at work during his 15 minute breaks, she would leave him treats on his car at work, text him all the time, and even came over to our house alone once while I was out of town (nothing happened and I was pissed), I confronted her about that and most of the rest calmed down, except for the texting. We have spaced ourselves from them quite a bit over the last 6 months and only talk to them occasionally and haven't swapped with them in at least that long. Mr Jam and I took a break and that's what we told them. Well, we want to start back again and I am hesitant to find people who want to be friends because of her over interest in Mr Jam. He says he doesn't see her interest but I keep telling him she had a thing for him. Anyway, should I be hesitant to find friends this way again? Or was this a one time thing? The other thing is since we are getting back into the lifestyle it is possible they will find out before long and I don't want to swap with them anymore because of what has transpired int he past, how do you get around that? TIA!!
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