StacyCat

I think Chicup hit it dead on. This entire post was selfish, all about what *you* wanted. You were even tired of cheating on her! If fucking other people is that big of a deal to you, then get a divorce and do it honestly. Your wife has made no indication that she will ever be comfortable with this, and yet you continue to ask her to do things that will be more and more uncomfortable for her. Grow up. Oh, and make sure you get a full panel STD test, those would be really hard to explain away.

Etiquette is to ask. If you are of the persuasion of "RegularGuy" and require all access to ones body to be ejaculated onto, then that really needs to be negotiated up front. I do not swallow cum, it makes my throat sore and my stomach sick. And, the vast majority of the guys that I play with will stop me when I get close, or ask me at the beginning. Oh, and, semen can be dangerous. I do not let guys cum in or on my pussy or asshole area, simply from the STD risk.

OKay, lets look at percentages. About 20% of the population has HSV2. (Actually, its about 1 in 4 women, and about 1 in 5 men). About 80% of the population has HSV1. They are defined as "oral" or "genital" by their outbreak site, however, in situations where one has not had an outbreak, you are not sure of which you have. Taking Valtrex or supressant therapy cuts the risk of transmission by about 50%. Using condoms cuts the risk of transmission about 50%. (It is unknown how this would stack.) Also, you have to look at oral contact as well. If 80% of the population has HSV1, which normally shows up in the mouth, and they go down on you unprotected, then, hey, you can get HSV1 genitally. Me, personally, in a swinging type situation, would have unprotected oral sex, and protected intercourse, with someone that did not know they had HSV2. (Even though I am actually negative for both kinds, I know most people have HSV1, that doesnt bother me at all). If someone had HSV2, I would get into a relationship with them, however, I probably would not fuck them as a one night thing. (But, I dont swing that often).

I was in a room with a few swingers. I was sitting on the dresser, and one guy was trying to get my pants off, while I didnt want them to come off. He pulled me off the dresser, bringing the dresser, lamp and TV down with us. Rather than doing anything about it, the "hostess" invited him over to fuck her, saying that I was mean for doing that! WTF! Basically, being a single female means watching out for yourself, and knowing who you can go to. In this situation, after the guys were obviously not getting the hint, I would have gone to the host/hostess, and explained the situation. Also, if you are comfortable with some of the couples, talk with one or two of them, and ask them to keep and eye on you, make sure this type of thing doesnt happen.

Blade, a lot of things have happened in HSV research recently. So, clearing up a few things. You can get a blood test that will confirm antibodies for HSV. I have several friends that test positive for HSV II that have never had an outbreak. You do not know if its oral or genital until you have an outbreak. Also, the forms do not mutate, you can have HSV II in the mouth region, and HSV I in the genitals. Also, genital warts are not the same thing as herpes. Warts are within the HPV family, and the strains that cause warts are not the same strains that cause cancer (however, many people carry multiple strains).

Just as a word of warning, IUD's and spermicidal stuff can make one more suseptable to STDs.

To the OP, you are being judgemental. I choose to use condoms when I fuck. Others choose not to. If someone is unwilling to use a condom with me, they do not get to fuck me. To some people that always go without condoms, I am a higher risk because I use condoms with everyone. To each their own. Everyone sets their own level of comfort.

I would also like to point out that many people who think they do not have any STD's are not getting tested for "everything." There is no HPV test for men, and herpes is not included in most STD tests without specifically asking about it.

I agree with Tia, why focus just on the drugs? I am much more worried about someone with an undiagnosed STD than with someone that smokes a little pot :-)

There is a big difference between "I dont play with black people" and "I have not yet met a black person that I am attracted to." The first implies discrimination and prejudice, the second aknowledges the prejudice, yet does not have active discrimination.

There has always been a trend to "new" and "different" things, simply from the openness of talking about them. I like anal, but could not do it with a casual play partner.

As someone who enters most of my poly relationships in a "secondary" (or at least a "not primary") relationship status, I would not stay with someone that wanted to keep me from dating other people. The whole reason why I am poly is to be able to date who I want. I don't object when my dating partners start dating someone else, or even if my partner who has a primary has another partner, why would they object if I found someone new? (Time issues aside)

Hi, im Stacy and i am poly :-) Polyfuckery tends to be where I lie, I like my long term relationships, but if I meet someone and want to fuck them then and there, I want to be able to do that. I tend to form quick emotional attachments during and after sex, and need a little emotion in my sex, which is why I have dropped out of the local swinging scene. I am still interested in swinging, if my partners are into it, one is not allowed to do it, but the other might be up for it. If I have the emotional part taken care of, I can do more of the fun swinging stuff.

Why not try softer swapping before going into the full swap, especially with couples that you just met? Same room sex with your own partner, or just light oral or finger play, not the full on swapping sex. Or have more foursome style sex, rather than breaking off into opposite couples. That way you wont have to feel like you are breaking up your husband from his fun. A lot of the one night stands that ive been with have had erection issues. Its a nervousness factor, and has nothing to do with you. Also, chat with your husband, try to set some ground rules (like, no fucking on the first meeting, always checking with each other before agreeing, etc). Perhaps that will help.

I like fetish stuff 🙂 I can't really handle the cum things. Cum is either a neutral, or it makes me gag. No scat play either.