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sandy_paws

Registered
  • Content Count

    30
  • Joined

Community Reputation

15 Good

About sandy_paws

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 05/25/1979

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Florida
  • Interests
    hers: Dave Matthews Band, reading .. His: classic cars, beaches
  • Swinging Experience
    just thinking about it
  • Anniversary
    06/26/2004

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    sandipaws
  1. Wow. What great advice. I'm so glad that I asked the question. I was just tearing myself up inside my head, beating myself up about it. Now i know I'm not crazy. It's so nice to know that I'm not weird.. For the longest time, I just felt so different. Thank you all. Baby steps. That's just my speed. I was freaking out about walking into a party or club and not knowing how to handle the expectation of "the other couple/people" want to have sex with you. At least now I know that doesn't have to be the first step or even the next step. Huge sigh of relief.
  2. Awesome. Great ideas!! I'm going to search for that movie right now! Just talking about it here makes me feel not so alone or left behind.
  3. Fear of the unknown is definitely stopping me. Talking it out and trying to get past it is one of my new years resolutions. I have to learn that I can't *control* my entire life. Thank you ALL for your advice. It really is great to hear from others who have been there and can help me think thru things. I appreciate it! I am going to show this post and advice to the Mr. and keep the dialog going... And then work on *getting physical* whenever possible.
  4. Just wanted to say THANK YOU for this. This is exactly what is happening, the dialog at least... so that's a step in the right direction.
  5. That's where my head is stuck. I don't think about sex often, if ever. Until this swinging subject came up. To be honest, I don't know what I want. I always went with the "can't miss what you don't have" in regards to sex.. and I enjoy my sex life with Mr. but, I don't know if I really *want* or *desire* to have sex with others... How do I know, if I've never done it?? Of course, I don't want to have "relationships" with other couples (friendships yes, romantic no) - but I can't figure out how to separate the two. How do I get in the frame of mind that it's just physical? And sex is just that. Sex.
  6. no. I'm using the catholic as an identifier because it's understood. I stopped going to church and practicing religion at all, when I moved to college and got out of my parents house. but the "morals" are still there. I just don't think in a sexual way. If it was up to me, I don't think we would have sex at all. Mr. is a big player in that, he's always the initiator (which is ok by me).. I am excited about swinging in the ability to meet other adults to hang out with, make friends with, and I believe that it is Mr. who is truly in it for the sex. Not that he doesn't enjoy our sex life, but that he feels that I am missing out, that he doesn't want to deny me of any experiences in life.
  7. Hi! I am going around and around in my head.. so I thought I would throw my question/mental issues out there and see what advice I can get. Thank you in advance. Mr and I have been married for 8 yrs, the idea of swinging sort of came up while we were researching adult only cruises.. and found a swingers only take over cruise.. and we started talking from there. Our plans are to try a few meet & greets in our local area, maybe venture to a hotel to test it out before the big vacation. My question or issue is: I was raised catholic. I was the notorious "good girl" thru the years, oldest daughter - setting an example for the younger siblings.. that kind of thing. I was a virgin when we met (i was 25) and the ONLY person I have ever had sex with is my husband. So my head is conflicted. On one hand, I am now 32 and feel that I should move on with my life. I am no longer 14 (ya know?) I am curious about having sex with other people. On the other, I am terrified. I used my virginity and lack of willingness to have sex as a safety net while dating and growing up to be in control of the situation and not get too close to any relationship for fear of rejection/getting hurt. Also, I was never a girly girl. I was always the t-shirt and jeans, tom boy girl who was buddy buddy with the guys... not really dating much at all. So, now how do I get over my old childhood hangups? How do I find my sexy? I don't know how to all of a sudden become "sexy". How to find the "want" and "desire" to have sex with others, because I am having trouble turning off the "catholic guilt conflict" in my head..
  8. I personally have the copper IUD, no hormones - and love it. It was an SOB to put in (tilted uterus) and leads to more cramping/heavier periods.. but I'll take that over additional hormones any day! Plus it can stay in 10 - 12 years, unlike the hormonal one (max of 5 yrs) .. so no need to worry about becoming pregnant any time soon! just my two cents! Since we haven't started swinging quite yet, I appreciate the thread - good to get others experiences.
  9. I wear glasses, and on our profile pic on SLS.. I have them on. I think they are cumbersome to keep on *during* .. so I tend to take them off. I'm lucky that I'm near sighted - so close things are always clear! it's the far away things that are blurry, and who cares about what's far away?!?
  10. Thank you everyone. This is great advice. Mr. and I have decided that we can put one G rated picture up as a profile pic, and since we can't really get involved for a few more months, it's all just chatting with others via email and no meet and greets .. (plus people would have to actively search the site for our profile) so he's not as concerned anymore.
  11. Thank you for sharing. We are also brand new, and have not had any experiences yet. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. I read your post, and just nodded my head... Thank you for putting all my thoughts into words so well!
  12. Thank you all for the great advice! I appreciate it!
  13. Thank you for the information. I'll discuss getting a paid membership with the Mr. and go from there.
  14. We are brand new. Mr. Paws and I have just created a profile on Swing Lifestyle. How secure is the site? Mr. is concerned about putting pics of us up - we are worried about his job and we have to tread lightly... but we want to meet people, make some new friends & he's NOT the club type. Any thoughts? Advice? Thank you in advance!
  15. I didn't mean to add any doubt or fear, I just wanted to lend a word of caution. I was speaking in reference to the first guy you mentioned who was the ex (and if that's done and over, great - move forward) and i believe you would/should be able to have trust in your wife if she says it's just physical. Hoping for all the best for you both.
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