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freakyweds69

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    36
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15 Good

About freakyweds69

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 04/13/1988

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Georgia
  • Interests
    Both: listening to music, sports, video games; Him: fishing & camping; Her: photography & scrapbooking.
  • Swinging Experience
    Newbies
  • Anniversary
    12/27/2006

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    freakyweds69
  • Favorite Club(s)
    We haven't been to any just yet.

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  1. First of all, thanks to everyone for taking the time to respond! I've been inactive for awhile because my husband is deployed & he decided to knock me up before he left! Every single one of you has basically said the same thing: get out there & have fun. We're going to as soon as the hubs gets back & I'm down to my ideal weight goal (not for potential partners but for my confidence 'cause confidence is sexy)! This may sound a little blunt but if you can f***, you can run! In all seriousness though if you're ready to lose weight start off slow. Start counting calories instead of jumping straight into a strict workout routine. They have free apps for your smartphone you can use to help you count them! If you feel like you're just not doing enough by only counting calories start walking or go swimming. These are two things that are good for you to help build your lung capacity that aren't too strenuous on your body. Work up to doing things faster and before you know it you'll be running (or swimming) laps without having to stop because you can't breathe! Good luck! - I
  2. They actually e-mailed us back and said they understood and if we still were interested that there was no pressure to play. I really appreciate your suggestion to make a list of things we'd like to know and will take your advice on that! Thank you
  3. Even at my thinnest I was above average thank you for the compliment though, I appreciate it I don't think my husband will have any problems. He doesn't have huge muscles or anything but he's fit and super sexy! I don't think any picture I could take of him would do him justice. You nailed it! I trust him enough to know that he wouldn't tell me that if he didn't think it were true but I can't help but think that as well as "Well duh YOU think I'm sexy. If you weren't attracted to me you wouldn't have married me!" Very true! The thing is I'm a bit more concerned about what other women will think of me vs other men. It seems to me that because women have the most say, like DigginIt said (quoted above), that we are also the most critical. Regardless you're absolutely right. There are plenty of fish in the sea
  4. (1) Are you the jealous & possessive type and can't imagine seeing your wife with another man? (2) Do you think you will be unable to meet the expectations of your wife and anyone else involved? (3) Do you fear someone performing better than you and your wife never looking at you the same? (4) Do you fear never being able to look at your wife the same? If I'm not mistaken all of the above are the questions you answered "yes" to from a previous post of mine & I think it's safe to say they are all common. Jealousy has its own section in this forum so I would read up there if I were you. As far as performance anxiety, if you are pleasing your wife now then you'll please her no matter what and her opinion should be the one that matters most. Not to say that you shouldn't care whether or not you please the other party but if you don't it's not the end of the world. Heck, you may not ever see them again if you choose. The last two are inevitable. You won't ever look at your wife the same & she will never look at you the same. Get used to it now. Just because the way you see each other is different doesn't mean it has to be bad though You should ALWAYS consider the other people because they are in a committed relationship as well & they don't want to risk damaging it. Don't forget that anyone you play with has fantasies of their own that they want fulfilled. So, even if what you stated were true, you'd be "objects" to them as well. This is very true. Marriage needs constant tender loving care. I recommend that you both go back to counseling because it's not meant to just be a quick fix when things get bad. The sex has been great now but that shouldn't be used as a glue to hold your marriage together figuratively speaking. I'm happy to hear that things are going well between you and your wife but there are still latent issues that require attention before your relationship can be 100% successful. Once you're there THEN AND ONLY THEN should you take the plunge into the swinging lifestyle.
  5. Wow I never thought of the lubes that numb as being potentially bad but you're right, I could hurt myself (or the hubs hurt me unintentionally) and not even know it. He's already started using his tongue and fingers on me to start. I'm glad I didn't already go out and buy any one lube. With all of the recommendations you all gave me I might have to do some eeney-meaney-miney-mo to pick one!
  6. I agree this is great advice! I will definitely be much more relaxed after an orgasm or two
  7. That would definitely be interesting to have to explain to say the least! I guess I am paranoid but if my husband weren't in the military I really wouldn't be as much. I just don't want something from our personal lives affecting his career though I hear swinging is quite prevalent in the military community. I don't know how true that is though.
  8. I really don't think you should force yourself to do something you don't want to do just to make your wife happy. Period. If she loves you then she will understand whether or not she agrees. Why is it that you don't want to swing? Here are some questions you should ask yourself: Is it against your values and morals? If so, are you worried that you might actually like it and you'd be opening Pandora's box if you went through with swinging? Are you the jealous & possessive type and can't imagine seeing your wife with another man? Do you think you will be unable to meet the expectations of your wife and anyone else involved? Do you fear someone performing better than you and your wife never looking at you the same? Do you fear never being able to look at your wife the same? Is it all of the above? If you can get to the root of "why" you are not comfortable with the idea you can probably make some progress from there. Out of curiosity: have you considered letting her swing without you? Is that something you might be comfortable with or would that be even harder for you? As unconventional as it sounds, even here, I recall reading about a gentleman who actually preferred to start out not swinging in the same room as his wife so that he could focus on the woman he was with without worrying about what his wife was doing with the male half of the couple. It makes sense. Different strokes for different folks! Sorry about the 20 questions; I'm just trying to help out as best I can.
  9. I feel much more confident now! I like to think I have an easy to get along with personality. My husband sure does and we both love to laugh and make others laugh. I'm comfy in my own skin for the most part; I could stand to loose maybe 15 more pounds but the main issue is my tummy area and skin that got stretched a lot (my pregnant belly was HUGE) that will eventually go back - I hope - with time. I just didn't know what the physical expectations were in this lifestyle. My expectations are realistic but via our online profiles it seemed that a lot of people are expecting porn star material and that is SO not me!
  10. Thank you all for your advice! I've heard some people even after getting used to it still don't really enjoy it. Then I've heard others who almost prefer it over vaginal intercourse because they climax more easily and/or harder. This may sound like a naive question but how is that even possible? I just googled silicone lubricants and pulled up one called Backdoor by Pjur (sp?) that actually has a muscle relaxer in it. I think that's the one I'm going to get because I have a feeling I'm going to have a hard time relaxing initially and if it's anything like being in labor the more you tense up, the more it hurts.
  11. First of all let me commend you for having the strength to open up about this and seek advice. I know we're all a bunch of faceless names on this board for the most part (I know some people actually know each other in person). Still, this takes guts. This is definitely something that you should not keep from potential playmates because it will never 100% be removed from your body and can reactivate later. The truth shall set you free! I think it's better for the both of you to let the cat out of the bag right from the start to current and new partners. I'm sure you and Pete would've appreciated a heads up from whoever you picked this up from. Do unto others. It would not only be for your potential playmates' benefit but for your own as well so you can truly enjoy play time without a guilty conscience. You should approach it honestly and let whomever know the facts: that you are most contagious if you have any kind of intercourse during an outbreak & the chances of spreading it when you're not experiencing an outbreak is greatly reduced; by about 90% I believe. Also, let them know that you understand if they are no longer interested but if they still are that you are on a treatment for it and would not object to adhering to any precautionary measures deemed fit by the other person/couple for you to be able to play with them. I know everyone will appreciate your honesty and you'll be surprised how many people will still be interested regardless. One of my friends from high school has it and she still gets plenty of playtime in the vanilla world! I hope someone with more experience in the medical field outside of WebMD can give you some better answers and I am truly sorry that this has happened to you. *Hugs*
  12. I have never had anal sex nor have I ever considered it up until recently. It used to completely disgust me. Before anyone gets all hot & bothered (and not in the good way) about my previous statement let me give you some of my back story [pun intended ]: My best friend is bi and we'd played together on many occasions starting when I was still a virgin to men. I always promised her that one day I would join in a 3some with her if she ever wanted it and she promised me the same. Too bad she's in a committed relationship right now with a vanilla guy so the hubs & I can't take advantage but I digress. Flash forward a couple of years and she is in relationship of two years with a guy named Levi. I'm single so we go for a 3some. Red flag #1: He was drunk and not just a little bit either. Things get going and we are making out while he is running his mouth and fingers all over our bodies. We take turns licking and sucking him to get him good and hard. She moves to get on top of him and ride him because he is very notably excited and instead of focusing on her, he literally grabs me and pulls me on top of him. I thought was hot that he wanted me so badly. Red flag #2: He showed absolutely no interest in my friend the entire time which worried me a bit for her sake but at the time I just copped it to me being the "shiny new toy". Anyway, we're going at it and now he is pounding me from behind while I take care of her desires orally. She is ready to be drilled so we go to switch off and he again denies my friend and went right back to me. Then he decided that it would be ok without even asking me to just stick it in my rear. WHOA! That was the end of that. I couldn't go through with it anymore and I pulled the plug. I couldn't sit right for days and I'd literally only gotten the tip of the iceberg. Now I find myself interested in anal. We watched a movie recently where in one of the scenes the woman was enjoying some DP and it really got me going. My husband - like most men - got excited about the fact that I'm starting to come around to the idea. I've even expressed willingness to try. That being said I have NO idea how to go about it. I definitely want to be comfortable doing this with Mr. Freak before I try with anyone else. I already know the basics: lots of lube and relax. What else is there that I can do that will make the process easier on me? Mr. Freak is sitting right next to me and wants to know if there is anything he can do as well that would help. Any tips from how to start to what is the best lube would be greatly appreciated!
  13. I know what some of you are thinking, "It's not the size of the boat; it's the motion of the ocean!" That's not what I'm asking in this particular case. My husband is perfectly secure with his size. He's not too big, not too small. Just thought I'd say that ANYWAY what I'm talking about is me. I'm younger than most of the people we've come across so far (I'm 24) but life still happened to me. I have 2 kids and am thick. I've always had a thick lower body but after becoming a mommy - which I am grateful for because I love my kids & now I have b(.)(.)bs - I also lost my flat stomach. I'm the kind of person who would look past someone's physical imperfections if they are someone I click with both personality-wise and sexually so how important is being fit in this lifestyle to most of you? After all we're all here for the physical aspect of relationships: sex. I'm 5'8'' and weigh between 170-175 depending on what time of day I weigh myself. I was originally at 220 . Am I out of my league here? My husband is in the Army so he does PT every day and is in the best shape of his life so I'm concerned that we won't find anyone who wants to play with us because of me.
  14. I couldn't have said this better myself. It needs to come out and I commend you for taking that first bold step in bringing it up to her. Now that she's let you in to her fantasy (preferring a threesome with another woman) the lines of communication have opened and your relationship is now that much more likely to make it! That being said another poster mentioned a great idea in bringing a porn movie into the mix. My husband and I did that when we were still dating and just starting to become intimate. We learned based on the kind of movies we'd pick out what the other's likes and dislikes were. I also agree with the idea of bringing in a toy to the bedroom to kind of open your partner up to the idea of another man. Her letting you know that she is more receptive to the idea of having another woman might be her way of offering you a golden ticket though
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