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Emmie

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15 Good

About Emmie

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 04/20/1983

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Land of Oz
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. My husband wants to have a threesome with my best friend. I know, old tale but here goes. We're in our late twenties and are relatively sexually adventurous. We are not swinging but have not ruled any such thing out, and we have talked about it with some interest. We are both shy, quiet people so naturally this will take some time and energy if we decide to go for such a thing so it's not going to happen tomorrow. I'd prefer it to happen with few people who we met for such a purpose, as we live in a conservative city with small minds and big mouths. He told me once he wanted to have a threesome with her when we were talking about "People we would like to boink," in general. This was OK, in fact I rather suspected such a thing. I wasn't worried. He's a man of his word, so I'm not worried about his fidelity and I did ask him. I trust them both. The second time he mentioned is while something sexual was going on and it was not as OK. He dropped it pretty fast. It didn't stop the activities but it took a while for them to continue. Afterward he said he was trying to get a rise out of me. He did but not the one he expected. :p The girl is lovely. We've been close friends for several years. Recently she's moved half a state away for law school and I miss her dearly. She's our age and she's bi. She's sexually adventurous, to the point of having had group sex and threesomes on several occasions. This may be part of the attraction for him, until recently a sexual situation for us with her could have been both achievable and convenient - at least from his point of view. I don't honestly think he's using this situation only as an excuse to have sex with her. She wouldn't help him cheat. However there is several things wrong with this situation that makes it awkward and generally turns me off. The first and most important one is I don't have any more than passing interest in having sex with other women. A group situation could be fun, as is sharing and definitely watching but intimate one on one girl sex doesn't work for me. Since I know her so well I don't think it would be right to ask her into a threesome with one guy knowing that I wouldn't want to give her my all. It's unfair, sex should be reciprocal and mutual in any case. The second thing, is that I know she's not attracted to him. She's mentioned it more than once. He reminds her of a cousin that she was raised with who she's not terribly fond of. In fact, she avoids family gatherings if that relative is around. My friend has warmed to my husband as of course he's part and parcel of being around me, and she likes him as a friend but anything else...no. My husband doesn't know that. I can't bring myself to tell him. Worst case scenario I'm a horrible woman who made him feel bad about his desires. Best case scenario I'm the woman who just kicked his dreams in to make herself feel better. I don't like those choices. I love my husband, and he loves me. I don't want to hurt him. I don't want to make him never tell me a fantasy again because I shattered a dream of his. I can feel something thinking "Why don't you just tell her and let her break it to him", well I want nothing more than to tell my best friend of 8 years all about it but you know...it involves her directly and that makes it hard. What if it turns out she'd be OK with it, and I'm the only one who's not? I know she's not initially attracted to him but it can be awfully flattering to have a nice man interested in you, and she likes threesomes, and me a little presumably. What if she's squicked out by him or by us or by the situation? She's my best friend, and I'm not trying to lose her behind some sex I wasn't interested in having in the first place. I don't want her to have to hear "I can't have sex with you! EEWWWW" from me. Because that's awful. If I had to have sex with a girl she wouldn't be my last option, sheesh. I also don't want to spoil her view of my husband, because she does like him, even if she's not "into" him and I don't want her knowing and him not being aware she knows to become a "thing". It's not right to use information to play games with your husband like that. but if I say nothing he'll keep bringing it up... *sigh* Halp. Please.
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