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weifensi

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weifensi last won the day on October 27 2013

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About weifensi

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  • Birthday 10/05/1974

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  1. sunbuckus, we're a couple both 37 with kids and as u curious about swinging. we haven't tried it out yet so I can't give any advice on that. but u certainly mention some points which go throuh our heads too. we started talking about swinging about 2 months ago and I can definitely say that our way of communication has deepened and got more open. we could always talk very well with each other but the topic of swinging has added depth into it. we both feel very comfortable in our relationship with each other and my wife is my best friend in life. we feel very happy to have each other on the journey of life. the topic of jealousy is something we discussed as well. like a lot of men I've fantasised about my wife with another guy. now that we talked about swinging I definitely want to take it slow as I realised that I'm actually jealous. you are asking an interesting question, where does the jealousy come from. I've though a lot about it and I'm far from over it yet. For me it's definitely an aspect of insecurity. I know that my wife will stay with me because she loves me and wants to spend the rest of her life with me. nevertheless, If I imagine her with another guy now, I wonder how I would react when she gets really into it. There's this feeling of being in competition with the other guy. difficult to explain but at the moment I would definitely feel the need to compare myself to the guy (did he make her come harder etc., u get the picture). The other point u are highlighting is the separation of love & sex. something where my wife is defnitely ahead of me. she was always very closed about her past experiences but as part of our talking she came out that in her early twenties she regularly had one night stands. whereas I tried one night stands two or three times but it never really worked for me. Logically it makes sense that sex is not love but there's definitely the way I was raised that u have sex only with the one u love etc. hope I did not take over yr thread. just wanted to put some of my/our thoughts on here.
  2. thanks again everyone for your advice. much appreciated. two4youinswva, I was trying to find the website of that club again but couldn't anyway, from everyones comments and surfing on this forum, we'll have an eye on that we only to things we are comfortable with. If we'll hit a club, we'll make sure that we check with the mgmt what their rules are. one more question : Reading different posts, some couples seem to have a silent sign to communicate with each other if they are comfortable with a couple. Any advice what sort of sign(s) could be used ? I'm imagining a situation with a couple we are chatting with and they are fine with same room sex with your own partner. I was us to be comfortable with it but at the same time also have certain courtesy to the other couple. Trying to prevent a situation where we need to discuss with each other if we feel this is the right couple. hope I'm making sense. would appreciate some advice on this. thx
  3. hi guys thx vm for taking the time and putting some points together for us. very much appreciated. The advice is very helpful. two additional questions : - should we check with mgmt of the club, if it is accepted that we only play with each other ? I visitied a website and one of their rules was that you are sort of expected to play. Not sure whether that meant with others or with yr spouse. - from reading on this website, it's obvious that communication with yr spouse is key. how did u guys talk about it on the day after ? any special advice on how to handle that ? thx again
  4. my wife and I (married for 10 years) have been speaking about swinging for a while. for both of us it's a turn on and we like it as a fantasy. we are not sure how we would feel in practice though. Me (the husband) think that I might get jealous watching my wife playing with another guy and she has similar feelings. we thought a good way to test the waters is to go to swingers club and just watch i.e. have sex with each other. a couple of questions in this regards : - do other couples test it out like that too ? - what are the things my wife & I should discuss beforehand ? - It might sound silly, but what do u actually wear to a swingers club ? for females I could imagine some hot lingerie. but what about the guys ? - any other good advice ? thx vm
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