Jump to content

BaronV.S.

Registered
  • Content Count

    4
  • Joined

  • Days Won

    1

BaronV.S. last won the day on October 29 2011

BaronV.S. had the most liked content!

Community Reputation

16 Good

About BaronV.S.

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 04/22/1971

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Married male
  • Location
    Ohio
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. Thanks for the welcome!! I, too, wish it hadn't been so heavy.... First, the tragedy (which was the violent death of a friend that we both witnessed), didn't make us do this, but it dropped in our laps as we were beginning to discuss things, and sort of accelerated things a bit. Second, I found out in July, and it had been happening since March, so I guess it's 7 months now. I think she just went ahead without me, because she thought I was "taking too long" to get "into the swing of things" (no pun intended). I thought we were still in the "talk, talk, talk" phase, but I was wrong! Oh so very very wrong... Third, she saw how upset I got, and then decided that she would have an issue that she couldn't handle if the roles were reversed. I told her that it would probably improve the situation, but she doesn't seem to get the "fair is fair" and the Equitable Playing Field concept to well. She told me that if I go and have sex with someone else, she will run to him and do the same, but if she goes to him to have sex, she doesn't want me to go with someone else. ...yeah...I said that too... Fourth, her friend didn't realize that there was an issue until late in July, and has been distancing himself from her since then, because she won't respond to his "You need to be fair about this" speech that he keeps telling her. However, they are in love with each other (yeah....got that issue too...), and he is having trouble with self control. To be fair to him, though, he is doing a far better job of it than I would in that situation.... Fifth, she keeps vacillating on whether to accept one-on-one time between me and another woman, and won't commit to "I won't be mad and hate you forever if you do", so I operate on the principle that she won't accept it, so she can't be mad at me... Sixth, I thought worry was an appropriate response. I just needed confirmation... As for repairing the marriage, I'm trying to do that without causing a further issue with her. I'm trying to get her to work on it without seeming like some kind of asshole. She keeps telling me that I've changed the rules on her, and I keep trying to explain that the rules didn't change, I just thought that the game wasn't as far along as it was... I appreciate the sage advice, and I DO have some difficult decisions to make. For me, my marriage to the woman I have adored since we were teenagers (we didn't get married to each other until long after high school and other failed marriages) is FAR more important than the recreational sex, but I'm trying to get her to see what is going on. I just don't know how to make her objectively see what is happening. I was trying to be agreeable and do something for her that would be fun for me also, but all it's done is add more stress and cause more issues. She's told me that she will stop, but that it will put a barrier between us, and that is something I do not want to have happen...
×
×
  • Create New...