Jump to content

TheBucketList

Registered
  • Content Count

    16
  • Joined

Community Reputation

15 Good

About TheBucketList

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 02/20/1976

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    WI and ND
  • Swinging Experience
    Still working on our first time
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. Wow - seems like a pretty large range. I don't know that we have an extra $300-400 a month to spend. Since we don't have much locally by way of clubs or events I have to admit that the cost averages that most are coming out with it a bit discouraging.
  2. I'm curious, for those that are active in the lifestyle - what would you say your budget is or what kind of financial impact has it made on you? For example - cost of memberships, clubs, costumes, dates, etc? What creative ways do you find to keep the cost down?
  3. We tried Kasidie, but like many others found there really wasn't anyone in our area. Has anyone tried Lifestyle Lounge? We were thinking of checking it out.
  4. We have pics of both of us on our Swing Lifestyle - however his are set to private. Why? Because he has a career that is EXTREMELY conservative, and even the mention of knowing someone who is in this lifestyle will send off HUGE red flags and could jeopardize his career. Sorry - sex isn't worth that kind of risk. The pictures of me that are on there - odds are anyone that knew us would have NO clue that it's me. I make sure that any tattoos, or marks that would identify me are not shown, face is completely out - hair is usually pulled out of the pic so that can't be identified either. It's actually sort of sad that we have to jump these kind of hoops. If we have communicated with someone and there is a personality match up - We are more than willing to share body shots of him (no - not the kind where he's sporting wood) But something that gives a correct current impression of what his body is. We make sure to include accurate descriptions of ourselves in our profile. (if the scale says 250 - it's not worth shaving 10lbs off and posting 240. It is what it is) The last thing either of us wants is to show up for a date and find out that the 30 somethings are really 50 something's that put on or dropped 100lbs in the last 12 months but never bothered to mention it or update their profile or pics. In our minds - it's purely bait and switch. Side note - photos of women - even if you're Vaictoria's Secrets model - the pic of you in your worn out cotton Hanes and no bra laying face first on the bed like you were just knocked unconscious...it's not sexy - (even if the sheets aren't stained) lol
  5. For those that it took quite a while 6 mos, a year etc. Did you find that you changed what you were looking for during that time? That you put yourself out there more? Was there anything in particular that you can see looking back on it that makes you think..."if we would have done that sooner!!"
  6. I would have less issue if it was a matter of us being decieving about our bodies/size. That is not the case - we have clear pictures of us - and a direct statement of our height/weight and activity. He's not flabby - he's barrell chested with large arms and legs (football in HS and College and has been military for over 6 years) I can appreciate everyone has different tastes. I have mind - he has his and so on and so on. I'm truly starting to think that people who are responding to our profiles quite simply are NOT reading them. On a side note - one of my biggest pet peeves thus far have been the people who share pics that are way outdated. We had a couple contact us that has similar body descriptions - they had similar interests and expectations - we though jack pot! So we requested photos - and they sent us pics that seriously made me question if I was talking to the same people. The pics were easily 50-70lbs lighter and obviously 10+ years old. When I questioned it - they got offended and explained that they were old pics and have since put on weight and weren't comfortable sharing the newer pics of themselves. All I kept thinking was - how are we suppose to be comfortable with them - if they aren't even comfortable with themselves?!
  7. We really don't want to "force" anyone or convince them that he's worth their time or that he'd be a great play partner. No one wants to feel like an play date is forced or someone is taking one for the "team". We had attempted to attend a hotel take over, but unfortunately I ended up with a nasty cold the night before and we had to opt out. For me personally- I prefer the teddy bear build on a guy over the gym rat. And as for women - I guess I feel the same way, I would much rather have her have some softness and curves than toothpick bony. But that being said - if there was a personality click - I wouldn't put in a veto vote solely based on the fact he looks like he lives in the gym and she's stick straight without any cushion. His preference - big boobs lol. But that's not a deal killer either. I guess when we decided to get into this, we had assumed that there wouldn't be so much body discrimination. *Of course we're not trying to lump everyone into that category* It doesn't help that we are sort of stuck looking in the WI and ND areas. Due to work, we live in different states so that doesn't help either. (ND - has been the most out going welcoming people that we have found, but unfortunately - we're not comfortable having our first experience with people who are 20+ years older than us - We have no issues with playing with older or younger people, but we'd rather work up to that, so in the meantime we are keeping them as friendships and hoping the rest will just work itself out)
  8. Since there is no such thing as safe sex - only safer sex, and being in the swing lifestyle already is a risk factor. We prefer not to increase that risk by engaging in activities with partners that have a STI. For us having sex with another couple I (the female half) need to be able to let my mind go and dissolve in the experience. Knowing that the people I was having sex with could potentially pass on an STI wouldn't allow that to happen. I would be non stop worrying during the sex and after about getting checked. We've actually come to the agreement that we ask people if they have ever had a cold sore - and take that seriously as well. (we had a friend who contracted genital herpes from a lip cold sore her partner had) Again - not a risk we want to take.
  9. I think if it came up that either of us had an encounter where the sex was better than what happens between us -we would be more than willing to bring it up and discuss it. The conversation would most likely include why it was better, were there things that were done that we don't normally do? Was it situational? What it hotter because of where we had sex, because of the state of mind the person was in, was there something that triggered it? (She said something sexy that triggered it) Things like that we tend to be very open with each other even in our everyday normal life. From our perspective great sex with someone else, just gives us more opportunity to increase the amount of great sex we have together.
  10. She is 5'4" 135 he is 5'10 250. He's military, so while he is on the bigger side - he's extremely fit. However we have run into issues more than once where his size has turned other couples away. Ironically they are the same couples that say size is not an issue, or they themselves are carrying a few extra pounds. I (the female) am a bit lost on how to ease the insecurities this is causing for him. Not to mention I'm a bit tired of trying to convince people that he's not obese. The weight in lbs is deceiving. That he's an incredibly giving sexual partner, and that we are a package deal. It's rarely the male half of a couple that seems to have the issue. It's always the female half of the couple that seems to take issue. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with the issue of where half of your swing couple is not considered play worthy by couples you are attracted to?
  11. We have signed up on a few lifestyle sites. Main issues that we have found. 1) Very Experienced people tend to have a set network of people that they normally play with and aren't eager to test out new waters 2) Those that are experienced and are willing to take a newbie for a test drive, they tend to be (from our experience) a high maintenance couple (ie unless you make 200k a year and are a ripped or a health nut - they won't even respond) 3) Newbies tend to want to email non stop, pic swap and never meet up.
  12. I (the female half) brought it up. Admittedly I was extrememly nervous that he was going to think that I was unhappy with our sex life or that I was looking to replace him. I was floored when his reaction was more like getting told he just won the lottery! I've more or less been left in charge of searching out our first experience (his work schedule and the fact we are in different states makes coordinating things a nightmare). We're not in any hurry at this point - we realize that there is still quite a bit of negotiating that we need to have over our comfort levels. But to some degree I'm convinced that we aren't going to be able to cover everything and that we are going to need to get in a situation and then talk it out afterwards and learn that way.
×
×
  • Create New...