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happilyplayful

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15 Good

About happilyplayful

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 09/15/1963

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    M. Male
  • Location
    US
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. Julie...thank you for the very deep, personal insights. Unfortunately, the Mrs. is currently too consumed by her depression to be able to deliver any sexual play with "gusto." In part, it is not her nature, even when she is 100% well, to deliver hjs or bjs with enthusiasm when intercourse was not on the menu. She has always been an intercourse-centric lover. She sees no value in what she considers to be foreplay without an expectation of intercourse. It is good that you can see the need to tend to your hubby even when you are not feeling particularly sexual. Again...thanks for sharing.
  2. Thanks for the thoughtful replies. Candidly, I feel as though I am venturing into uncharted and uncertain waters... I guess my problem is that I really want her to be bothered by her lack of sexual interest and by the thought that I might be relying upon others to satisfy my sexual needs. However, my sense is that the depression simply does not allow her to think that way or to feel that way or to want to be sexual that way with me or anyone. Intellectually, she sees the distress that the lack of sexual interest and activity is causing me. So, she is urging me to find other outlets. My problem, candidly, is that my concept of a relationship requires some level of physical interaction with my partner. I am finding it hard to let go of that concept no matter how much I love her and want to remove the pressure of sexual intimacy from the current situation (one less thing for her to have to deal with). So, even if I have playtimes with others, I don't think that is going to resolve my frustrations completely. Sure, it will take a considerable edge off--but it will not be a complete, long-term solution. And, I am afraid that she will want to feel as though allowing me a continuing hall pass is a complete solution. I am trying to look at this as only a temporizing move while she works her way out of the current depressive cycle or she and her doctor can find a combination of medications that address her depression without killing her libido. Meanwhile, I simply am uncomfortable approaching any of our existing playfriends as a single--even though I think a couple of them would be receptive. For whatever reason, I feel a whole lot more performance pressure as the odd man in. Anyway, thanks for listening (reading)...
  3. Hello everyone. I am interested in everyone's views and impressions on the following situation. Mrs. and I have been married for over 20 years. We have been semi-active swingers for the last seven years--playing between 5 and 10 times a year as our family obligations have allowed. In the last year, Mrs. has been suffering with severe, clinical depression. The depression, and the drugs that are being used to treat the depression, have really done a number on her sexual interest. Meanwhile, for me, sex is a great stress reducer. And, her illness has really put me under a lot of stress. So, I have been extra, extra horny in the last several months. The difference in sexual desire is adding to an already very complicated situation. As an accommodation, Mrs. has repeatedly suggested that I go out and play with some of our friends without her. She is willing to tell anyone that she is completely ok with and has actually encouraged my playing separately. Setting aside whether I want to play without her (a lot of the fun for me came from us playing together), I am very uneasy about being "one of those guys" who is playing without their mate. I am curious what others think about this situation. Has anyone else been confronted by similar circumstances? Does anyone know anyone who has? What is your reaction generally to playing with someone under these circumstances?
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