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luv2was

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About luv2was

  • Rank
    100 Posts Club
  • Birthday 08/05/1958

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Single Male
  • Location
    SW Oregon
  • Interests
    I am an old Hippie turned Geek... "Luv" Swimming too... ;-) ... V&E (voyeurism & exhibitionism) is a favorite kink of mine. Erotic Stories. Movies & Music. Tech Stuff. Nature .... Love to Watch & Show = luv2was
  • Occupation
    Technical
  • Swinging Experience
    The idea started back around 1980, in my "Hippie Daze".
  • Anniversary
    ?

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    luv2was
  • Kasidie Username
    luv2was

Recent Profile Visitors

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  1. I am convinced that there are as many ways to do a relationship (traditional or not) as there are people engaging in them. I would suggest not putting too much energy into how to "Label" yourselves. (To some, that term is an abomination.) As was stated earlier, just be clear & honest about how you like to play. While your style may put some limits on how many connections y'all make, it is more likely that most of the ones you do make will be of higher quality, as you hone your communication techniques. An "anomaly"? I hardly think so. Try to think of yourselves as what you are: Two beautiful people, deeply in love with each other, and fond of exploring intimate adventures with others. With patience, everything else will work itself out. Enjoy the journey! bud :-)
  2. Kudos for stepping outside the box. Here's to breaking the mould.
  3. If this person cares for you so little, an so selfishly, that they cannot respect your marriage, the the path seems quite clear to me. Cut them loose, by whatever means necessary. It seems to me that you will have much more to gain, than loose, by doing so. Just my humble observation.
  4. Well... Since you asked for advice, here it is: First off, since your wife agreed to even go to a Swinger Club, that puts you WAY ahead of the curve of the hopes of many a man. Be grateful for that. And do whatever you need to do to make your wife feel comfortable in any situation. One of the Golden Rules of Swinging (or any form of ethical non-monogamy), is to "only go as fast as the slowest person present". You've had a lot of time to think about this it seems. She needs time to catch up. Listen. Education is the key. And if that learning is something you can do together, all the better. This BBS is an excellent resource. Once you find a meaningful post here (and they occur fairly often), read it and discuss it together. Same goes for podcasts. "We Gotta Thing" (WGT) is an excellent resource related to this BBS. I highly recommend it. "Normalizing Non-Monogamy" (NNM) may be useful as well. Give a try for a while. https://wegottathing.com/ https://www.normalizingnonmonogamy.com/ Playboy "Swing" is a TV show that may be useful. Most of the episodes are online. While you do not need to watch them in order, it may help a little bit. The best part of the show is listening to the experienced "resident" couples speak on topics. A lot to understand there. Episodes vary in quality (of the story/information), and whether it illustrates the good or the bad varies a bit. But for the most part the experiences are good. Overall the program is a bit skewed, but it is as good a product you will find out there like that, so give it a try. Here is the 1st episode. I've never had a problem viewing that site. https://www.xnxx.com/video-5icgd04/swings01e01 The nice thing about streaming media is it is something you can do together. Pause / rewind, and discuss anytime. "No pressure, No promises" is another nugget I have come to love as I've floundered along in the Lifestyle. That door swings both ways too. "No Judgement" is another good one, and not nearly as easy to live up to. Work on it. Be Patient. Again: You've been thinking on this idea a lot longer. Give her all the time she needs to catch up. You may have jumped the gun a bit on your first outing. But what is done is done. Chalk it up to experience. I'm sure that there are quite a few couples that did not start out all roses and wonderfulness. (I know, I see them post here.) Keep the dialog going. Be patient. (Always.)
  5. Welcome! AFF is a bit of a zoo IMHO. Gave up on it years ago (and I'm a single male!). As for education, I've found this BBS to be the best. The Podcasts: We Gotta Thing (WGT) https://wegottathing.com/ & Normalizing Non-Monogamy (NNM) https://www.normalizingnonmonogamy.com/ ... are great resources too. I believe both those 'casts offer intro deals (discount codes) to a variety of good swinger date-type sites. IMHO Kasidie is excellent. SDC seems popular. APG (AltPlayGround) seems to be gaining some traction too. I've used SLS for a long time, but it seems to be less favorable these days (the site structure/technology being a bit dated seems to be the biggest complaint, and I tend to agree). Be patient. Keep an open mind. bud
  6. Everyone's experience and approach will be different. Part of the fun is the trying & learning. Expect that things will pan out no where near the way that you think they will. ... As with everything (especially relationships), change is inevitable, so be prepared for that too. There are not very many universal truth's or rules in the Swinger Lifestyle (the "LS"). However: Managing "Consent" is one for sure. So be sure you are up-to-speed on that. I highly recommend podcasts (and this BBS) as a resource for information on how to make decisions as you move forward. Like this BBS, Podcasts are a fun thing to do together, and you can pause / rewind at anytime, and have a discussion if something comes up that strikes a nerve. My favorite podcasts are: (NNM) - Normalizing Non-Monogamy https://www.normalizingnonmonogamy.com/ (WGT) - We Gotta Thing https://wegottathing.com/ I have heard numerous times on both these shows how folks start off with lots of rules, and usually, over time, start crossing rules off the list. This is OK. (Again, everybody does it a bit differently.) It is important to move at a pace that is comfortable for everyone. ... So another general rule that is typically considered to be universal is to "Never move faster than the slowest person present"... whether 2-some's (especially your marriage) or more-some's. As for talking it over... That (IMHO) is typically considered to be the best part of the growth opportunity. The experience, good or bad, is sometimes referred to as: "Another F**king Opportunity for Growth" (A-FOG). ... I distinctly recall one WGT show where Mrs. Jones said that for every hour of play, expect 100 hours of discussion. Mr Jones initially just laughed, be he did agree that can be the case. There are numerous other resources... like books. For every NNM show, they list on their web the "resources" that guests mention. Some of these also come up on WGT and elsewhere. A lot of them are great. Of the more popular books, these are a few to consider: The Ethical Slut - Janet W. Hardy Opening Up - Tristan Taormino Sex at Dawn - Ryan / Jetha Listen long enough and you will hear these and more. ?
  7. There is something out there for everybody. Be honest... and be real. (Looks like you are off to a good start there.) You may need a LOT more patience than usual... but I would not be at all surprised if you eventually found a couple that would help you along. ... And if that ever happens... you will likely get the answers to all your sex/swinger related questions, and more. If you keep visiting this BBS, you will likely learn a lot in general about the Swinger Lifestyle. Best of luck to you.
  8. Polyamorous. Oh... and I am a Trekker too. (True Star Trek fans abhor the moniker "Trekkie".) "Live long and prosper."
  9. " " ... that's a keeper... Thanks! I get called upon to fix the computer of many family & friends. Mostly run Linux now. Have lots of "Techie" gadgets, and love fooling around with that stuff. Most of my books are digital now (including an audio collection). "The IT Crowd" (Netflix) is a favorite show. Favorite PC game? ... Sim City! I'm an engineer and stuff. ... and I identify as Poly too.... Hummmmmmm But "Yes"... have not run across that many Geeks in the LS (through the usual channels anyway).
  10. I reckon there is no easy answer to this one. ... However... You may want to check out the Podcast: "Normalizing Non-Monogamy" https://www.normalizingnonmonogamy.com/ Here are some episodes (from my notes) that you may want to try first. NNM #64 - Molly + Greg - 190521 ... Interesting story, about their evolving relationship. NNM #57 - Catherine + Ray - 190409 ... Catherine Scantlin (MS, LPC, RYT)... (and Husband Ray). ... (From WGT #41 & #54) NMN #42 - Felice + Bill - 190101 ... Swinging as relationship building. NMN #37 - Elizabeth + Philip - 181127 ... Good for new (Swinger) folks… (&/or) taking your time… (&/or) finding your own way… (&/or) especially if you have young children at home. Another one that may be helpful is: "We Gotta Thing" ... (WGT) https://wegottathing.com/ I especially recommend the episodes noted above (#41 & #54, with Catherine Scantlin, who may be available to offer direct help). I like the overall format of NNM better. Each episode is an interview with someone different, and the range is pretty wide. Hearing the experiences of others may help you find (at least some of) the answers you are looking for. Some of the stories are quite compelling, and definitely worth listening to. On WGT the hosts mostly talk to each other, but occasionally have guests. Some of the topics are very insightful. :-) Listening to these podcasts may be something fun (& educational) to do together. It is easy to pause them for discussion, when something close to home comes up. If you want more options, try this thread: Podcast List....
  11. In the general scheme of things, perhaps it is. The more restrictions you have, the harder it will be to "hook-up". One of the most common messages I have seen on this BBS is to "not go into the LS with a lot of expectations". (i.e. Your chances for disappointments tend to match your level of expectations.) Try to arrange face-to-face meetings sooner, rather than later. You will learn more in 3 minutes of a meeting, than you will in 3 months of texts, emails, etc. I am reminded of the famous "Peanuts" quote by Linus: "I love mankind, it's people I can't stand."
  12. This is supposed to be fun... and "feeling bad and guilty and selfish" is no fun. If you've been on this BBS long enough, I suspect you have an idea of what is coming (in terms of replies here). This is a good topic to bring up though... so perhaps you may want to start a new thread for it, perhaps under "Swinging Situational HELP!". So... for a quick response... If you are not on equal footing with your spouse, then it will likely be a rocky road ahead. He seems open to the idea of swinging, which in itself is a gift. Cultivate that. I heard on the "We Gotta Thing" podcast the hosts mention (somewhat jokingly, but with a hint of truth) that for every hour you swing, you will spend 100 hours talking about it. Good communication is the key. And that for sure is easier said than done... but if you can manage it, my guess is the sky is the limit.
  13. A resort type setting will be a bit more controlled, in terms of who will be there, and thus offer better chances to NOT have an experience that will scare your wife off the idea. While you may run into some swingers at a "Naturist" resort type place... Please be aware that all (even most) of the folks there WILL NOT be Swingers. Folks who are dedicated Naturist types will not look well upon a lot of overt sexual behavior, and it is typically grounds for being ejected from the facility, or even banned. Rules governing what is appropriate are typically clearly established at the website for any facility. Do your homework first. Check out these organizations: AANR TNS ... as well as the webs for any facility you plan to visit. Naturist folks are about the most easy going folks you will ever meet. In a resort type setting you will have a MUCH better chance of meeting folks who will be able to put your wife at ease for being naked around other naked folks. And as mentioned earlier, this alone can be a huge step. (Even if swinging is not on the agenda.) Bottom line is... If you want to meet swingers, then go to a swinger facility, resort, club, etc. Your experience may well be the same as a naturist resort, just with a heavier slant towards swapping partners and such. One tip I will give you now... At any naturist facility, ALWAYS carry a towel with you, to sit on. Public beaches can be OK... But the problem is just that... they are open to the public, and there is no filter for who is allowed in. At some Public Nudity palaces (maybe even most), the odds of having an experience that could sour your wife for life (or many years to come) is pretty high. The answer now, should be obvious. Any AANR accredited facility should be a really good bet. Have FUN! Enjoy the freedom!
  14. Non-Monogamy & Sexual Freedom - Awareness, Education, and Acceptance Bringing about change in thoughts & ideas... regarding the openness and various possibilities in sexuality. ref> ... The above excerpt inspired this thread. (Credit where it's due.) ;-) When I was in my 20's, even my 30's, the Internet and the associated mass (global) communication outlets did not exist. BBS's like this one (as well as other websites, social media, podcasts, "dating" sites, etc.) no doubt are causing a shift in awareness & perception. An additional benefit is that at a younger age, folks can find out more information about how to more freely express themselves. It seems to me that above all else... it is about freedom. It is also (IMHO) a lot about understanding ourselves... and how we are evolving. Who & How we "Love" (or even "just have sex with") is for sure a changing landscape (based on my observation & experience). I almost see it as a mission, or a responsibility, to raise awareness on the subject of "open sexuality" (or anything else, I reckon) as we gain a better understanding of it ourselves, and are able to better communicate that. ... I have found this BBS to be an amazing outlet for education on the subject of non-monogamy (and, of course, the Swinger Lifestyle). As an example... One thing I have been thinking about lately is that it seems to be more socially acceptable these days to be gay (homosexual), than to be Polyamorous (or a Swinger). To "come out" as being gay these days is far less dangerous than it was say 50 years ago. (FYI... The Equal Employment Opportunity Act appeared in 1972.) Likewise... I sense that bisexuality, like polyamory, is not as socially acceptable as being in a monogamous gay relationship. i.e. Bisexuality & Polyamory, and the LS, all seem to automatically assume non-monogamy... and it is the openness of those sexual choices that seem to be the bigger taboo subject right now. Anyway... I get that this will not happen anytime soon (not in my lifetime, for sure). I do feel however, that there is a sort of paradigm shift going on now (regarding perceptions on sexuality), and that it is rapidly gaining momentum. (And like so many other things, will we be able, as a species, to keep up with that accelerating rate of change.) I'd be curious to hear other thoughts, ideas, and perceptions about the trends of changes related to sexuality... and the impacts to society... past, present, and future. :-) If you want to learn more (about Pansexuality, etc.)... Here are a few links to get you started: https://www.google.com/search?q=pansexuality https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pansexuality Psychology Today... About Pansexuality BTW... I stared to reply to the above referenced post in the original thread, but soon realized it may be better suited to a new topic. Thanks for indulging my ramblings.
  15. Playboy TV "Swing" has a format similar to a "reality" show. Ran 5 seasons & quit. You can usually find the 1st 4 seasons streaming (for free) at various sites online. While it is a bit skewed in the presentation (younger players, extremely controlled environment, etc.), it does give a decent peek into the LS. Anyone who is curious may want to give it a look. https://www.google.com/search?q=playboy+tv+swing Enjoy!
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