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misterlove3000

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  • Content Count

    4
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15 Good

About misterlove3000

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 01/01/1980

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    single male
  • Location
    new york
  • Anniversary
    xx/xx/xxxx
  1. You guys are all great, I know that this is sounding a bit judgemental, so I appreciate your understanding. I want to come to terms with it, but I find it to be quite a turn off for me, and I don't know why, it's possible it's insecurity, and it's possible it's some bizarre form of jealousy. She has expressed to me that it was a temporary interest but she doesn't want to bring it back. I think I would almost feel better if after saying she enjoyed it, that she say she would enjoy it again, and gave me the option of experiencing that with her, even if I wasn't interested. I mean, she seemed to really enjoy it, and that might be where the issues lye, that she left something that she clearly enjoyed, yet came to a rational decision to move on from something that was very sensational, maybe even a little irrational. It's like being in a relationship that was great and so different and peculiar that future relationships couldn't compare, and then after a while, the chances are much greater that with the opportunity, they will return. After doing all this research about it and hearing your responses, I must say I'm a bit curious. But I suppose for me it is disappointing that I can't share sexually, what might be the most exciting sexual experience of my partners life. I understand that this might come off as contradictory, but I wish I had crossed the line and experienced this when I could have so as not to continue the myth. Someone said I can't get over it because I can't understand it, I agree. Maybe it is the case that it's important to have shared similar sexual backgrounds for a successful LTR. Thank you , Mister
  2. I spoke to her and asked her why she was interested and started. She said the first night she got involved with a couple. After that she went to the parties with this couple. She engaged in intercourse with 10+ partners in that 3 month period almost every weekend. the most people at once was with three couples. She said this was very much a party scene, and there was always alcohol involved, and she just wanted to go a little crazy, she had never done that before. She said she never really identified as part of the lifestyle, just having a good time. I think sex is ok without a relationship, but I suppose I do think that because of it's emotional repercussions, that it should be taken with caution. I have mostly had relationships, and most of the women I slept with could have gone that way, a few were fleeting nights, i didn't enjoy those as much. I love sex, and find it to be an important part of any relationship, but I worry that sex might be too important as an indulgence to someone who so loosely engaged in it just so recently. I'm not sure I want to be with someone that can separate animalistic pleasure from emotion in sex. If it's that casual, I think the odds of future unhappiness with the relationship are greater when sex drive weakens and there is less of it. Also, having such a binge for 3 months seems strangely volatile to me. What do you think?
  3. Yes, I'm saying I have had the opportunity for threesomes and more and I passed it up because it made me uncomfortable. It's not so much the amount of partners as much as the amount of partners at the same time or night. And the quantity of partners in a short period. She wasn't part of a couple experimenting together, she was the free radical single woman involved with three couples at the same time. What happens when you cross that line from fantasy to reality? I'm not sure why it bothers me so much, but it seems to me that it could represent possible self esteem issues. I appreciate the forum I'm in, I mean no disrespect, I'm just trying to understand a woman that could put herself in this situation. She has a regular sex life with a few partners through relationships, and then BAM, three months of alcohol induced party sex with total strangers, and it's out of her system? The replies have been very helpful, Thanks.
  4. I met a girl two months ago on a dating site and it has been going really well between us. I'm 30, she's 27. We now see each other very often and I'm developing very intense early feelings for her, however; she dropped a bomb on me the other day. I'm not sure how it came up, but I asked if she ever had a threesome. She said" well, actually, I used to go to a swingers club and I've had threesome's, foursome's, and moresomes." She said she was referred to as a "unicorn" because she was a single female at a swinger club and she got involved through a swinger couple that she befriended after a random wild night. I couldn't believe what i was hearing, that is not my lifestyle at all, I've had sex with about 20 people. That is also why, for the most part, I have sought out women with similar sexual pasts as my own, a fairly experienced past. I have also been invited to threesomes and group sex, but it's just not for me. I want to be mature, and i like her, but being hard to digest, I had a lot of questions. A second conversation revealed that she did this about 2 and 1/2 years ago for three months mainly on weekends and she had been involved mostly with two couples at a time. She said there was one experience with three couples, but the most men she slept with in a night was two, not at the same time. In total, she said she has been with 15 partners in her life, give or take a couple, although she doesn't count the female partners. She gave one woman oral in that time and she said she was bicurious but not now bisexual. She "got it out of her system," she said, and is interested in being with one person, me. Am I crazy to think that someone with this sort of past is capable of long-term monogamy now? I feel like she started fudging numbers and facts based on my open yet surprised and concerned response. Everyone tells white lies about sexual partners. The numbers aren't going to make or break the relationship. It could be 150 and I would be alright with it. But certain sexual activity that really goes beyond the norm I think might change the game. That dishonesty is not malicious, if her idea of what constitutes as sex does not apply to female partners, then how many partners have been left out because of her loose definition of WHAT constitutes AS a sexual partner? This is not about a number and getting over the past. This is a question of character. She was a swinger in that she pursued this activity at swinging clubs and parties with couples. I believe in monogamy and this behavior complicates my trust of her boundaries, and maybe even her respect for relationships. Even if a man allowed his wife to me for a night, I wouldn't take it, because I simply don't believe that it has no negative impact on that relationship, regardless of their "open-mindedness." And if it exists the couples that would have no issue, then I feel there is a fundamental difference in values concerning monogamy. Although engaging with couples seems the best way to get nsa sex, I worry that there might be this difference in value which I think might also give us different definitions of monogamy and relationships. I don't think that this is something you can always lay down with conversation. This also raises concerns for me about her ability to be sexually satisfied by one person...at a time. I want to be her stallion but I only have one cock, and it's not a python. And I don't have breasts, a vagina, and eight hands. Will I never be able to share with her, her most intense sexual moments? I think I understand, it's erotic to fantasize being so submissive that your mouth is full and you're being penetrated and you're being rubbed. It's exhibitionism too. I understand the fantasy, but now that it's not a fantasy anymore, will she ever enjoy one on one sex quite as much? So please respond to either of the issues, do you think there is a fundamental difference in values concerning relationships, sex and monogamy? and can someone with not just a promiscuous past, but one of group sex be satisfied with a single sexual partner? Thank you, Mister
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