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psycdr

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psycdr last won the day on July 10 2011

psycdr had the most liked content!

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About psycdr

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 04/07/1968

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    St. Charles IL
  1. Snapps, you seem obsessed about our status and I question why. Are you hoping we fail so you can justify your experiences? Will having us fail make you feel better about what happened with you and your wife? The last post prior to your most recent one was in June 2011, which means you had to go looking for this message and that you must think about what is happening between my wife and I quite frequently. Do you lay in bed and think about our status? I hope not. As for as my wife and I, we are still happily married and she still has her boy toy. It's actually been one year now that she has been fucking him. I have not had the opportunity to hook up with someone, but I also have been extremely busy with work. We both keep saying we want to go to a club (as in a swinger club) but life and kids get in the way of scheduling it. Overall we are BOTH having fun and do NOT regret our decision and most importantly we love each other immensely. Thanks for asking...
  2. Hello,

     

    You are up early. I can't get into chat room. Do you know if chat room is experiencing problems?

    I am in Kenya.

  3. When I initially read the post I thought it was talking different room swap, but now that I re-read the post I see its more about hooking up separately. As I mentioned in a previous post, my wife hooks up with a single male (her boy toy) and I am very turned on by it. I only wish we could find a female that would play with me, but I am finding this very difficult to get to happen. The next step for the wifey and me is to find a couple that we can either do a different room swap or to just have the ability to hook up separately. Hopefully it will happen someday, until then I enjoy knowing my wife is getting her freak on with someone else.
  4. We have a different opinion on this, right now the wife has a boy toy she hooks up with (he is single) and we viewed this as a step into the lifestyle of swinging. We have a lot of interest in going to the next step which will be different room swap as it seems more comfortable to us, then we might explore a same room swap experience. It has been somewhat difficult to find a couple that does separate room, but we are continuing to look.
  5. Hell yeah...I love knowing my wife is getting it from another man; I have not watched but she has audio recorded it for me, plus she tells me hot stories while we have sex or sometimes to tease me. I want to hook up with a female, but we have not met any females that want to play without their hubby. My wife and I are also looking for a different room swap couple, but it is difficult to find them. If I don't hook up I am ok with that, because what turns me on is her hooking up.
  6. I have been brewing over Snapps response for the past week. Not only am I insulted, I am extremely frustrated. So I will try to be as civilized with my response as possible. I should point out from the get go that I am a psychologist and my wife is a social worker. So lets begin…. You said: I actually met him in January. As far as watching, no she is not, and I am not pushing this. We are taking a journey and we must take baby steps. At some point she MIGHT be comfortable with it, but there is also the approval of the other party. I am totally turned on by watching her, but to be honest I am not really interested in seeing her fuck buddy naked or his dick. Not my thing (no offense to anyone who is into that). You said: Really? What century do you live in? I think slavery was outlawed on December 6, 1865 and women also got the right to vote on August 18, 1920. My wife is neither my possession nor his nor anyone else’s; she is her own individual who has the right to make her own decision on who she wants to fuck, including me. Did you know that a husband can be charged and convicted of raping his own wife? You said: Sometimes she goes over at my request, because I am totally turned on by that. Who are you to question what turns me on or what I find sexually arousing? She also did try to video record it, but the quality sucked, so I just got audio. There may be a time that I can watch with someone else, but at this point we are just taking baby steps. We have discussed going to a swinging club and are VERY turned on by it, but we BOTH need to take this at our own pace. You said: Low self esteem? Are you nuts? Do you know me? No I don’t think so. I mentioned that I have lost some weight. Well in my profession I sit on my ass, and I gained some weight, but that DOES NOT MEAN that I have low self-esteem. It just means I gained some weight. My self-esteem is just fine, as is my sex life with my wife. Before we started this lifestyle we had sex maybe two to four times a month, now it is 2 to 3 times a week. We have a very healthy sexual life and because of this lifestyle, our relationship has gone to a different level, in a positive way. You're quick to point out what is potentially wrong with my arrangement, but maybe you need to look at yourself. Your wife left you, and I am truly sorry for that, but what happened to you does not happen to everyone. My wife is NOT your wife and our marriage is not like yours. We are HAPPY with the arrangement and I love my wife and she loves me and I NEVER question that and that is all that matters to me. I really think you need to speak to someone; you are obviously suffering from some issues based upon what happened to you. I have a question for you. If your wife left you, why do you continue to troll these boards? Please see a therapist you really need to…I am not saying this out of anger, but from genuine concern.
  7. Well we consider ourselves swingers because we do want to participate in the lifestyle, we are just not ready for same room swap... we might work our way up to it or we might not. We are more open to the idea of a different room swap. My wife also wants a FF experience as well as a FMF experience. I am turned on by watching my wife with someone (or the thought of it as I have yet to experience it), but I can not say for certain that my wife would be turned on by watching me with someone else.. She wants me to hook up with someone and I also want to hook up with someone, it is just the opportunity has only presented itself once and not again since then. The idea of watching her with someone is like watching porn, but better... Like I said, we like the idea of swinging, but we have to "test the waters" and for us it starts with different room swap... I hope that makes sense...
  8. Another update... We are still living our own version of swinging, JoviChick is still with her boy toy and usually see's him once a week. I still struggle with meeting someone who I can play with, but I can live with it. I am living vicariously through my wife. We still discuss going to a swingers club, but have not taken the step. Many of you mentioned that I should meet JoviChick's boy toy and in January I actually did meet him at a holiday party. He bought me a drink and we talked for about 45 minutes. He was very respectful and assured me he follows the rules that my wife explained to him.. At that party my wife did F*** him in a room at the hotel, while I waited in the lobby (the party was at the hotel). They went up, F***ed and then came back down to the party. We both really got a kick out of it, primarily because it was so risky to do it at the party. Thanks for everyone's support...
  9. I can't say I know the answer to this question, but my wife has told me on numerious occasions that if she ever does a one night stand (where I would not be involved in any capicity) it would be with a guy she meets at a swingers club. She has said she would feel safer in that environment.
  10. Wow... Thank you so much for the very kind words. We are really enjoying ourselves and hope to continue our journey.
  11. I should clarify one point: we are not opposed to swinging with another couple. What neither of us are ready for is having sex with others in the same room (i.e., same room swinging). We are both still a bit self conscious to take that step.
  12. Hello everyone, It is still going well, we have had some bumps in the road that we had to work through but what is important is that we worked through it and it made us closer. Jovichick is still hooking up with her boy toy once a week and very recently had an encounter with him that was very "teen-age" as far as the sex is concerned. I am still very turned on by all of this and I am actively looking for a female toy, which I doubt I will ever find. We continue to discuss next steps in our journey and we are looking into visiting a swingers club in the Chicago area to do some "watching" and then we can see where it will go from there if anywhere. One other question we keep going back to, which was the initial question for this thread: Are we really swinging, and is it worthwhile to be visiting this site as we are not swinging as I understand it? Another upside is I have become very self conscious of my physical appearance, went on a diet, and I have lost close to 20 pounds.
  13. I would like to thank everyone for your responses. Just as a status update, we have decided to proceed with me meeting her boy-toy. She has spoken to him and he is open to the idea; at this point it is just a matter of timing. My wife still plays with him and we still have very hot sex, we have also started talking about what will be the next step in our sexual evolution. Right now we are just riding the wave and it is very very good. Whenever she meets her boy-toy, she checks in with him on his emotional status and reinforces that he is just a "F-toy" to her. He has accepted this and continues to verify the rules and asks for confirmation that he has not crossed the line. Ultimately I trust my wife and as I have stated before, if this blows up in my face then there was something else wrong with our marriage completely unrelated to swinging. I will continue to provide updates as will my wife (JoviChick). FYI, we recently joined "Swing Life Style" and look forward to seeing where that takes us. JoviChick also wants to go to a club and do the voyeur thing...its a hot button for her in a very good way, and then jump me afterwords (at the club).
  14. If I can add my two cents... I am very very new to this as well, but what this forum has taught me is that you both have to be completely honest with one another, and when I say that, I mean an honesty that transcends your current definition and experience of honesty. If you can get there it will bring your relationship with your wife to a completely new level. Now having said that I would ask why does your wife not want you playing with another partner, hearing that makes me think there is some type of jealousy going on (or something else, maybe it brings back a bad memory/experience for her) and this can have a negative impact on your relationship. I would highly recommend exploring why she feels this way and, again, you two must be completely honest with one-another as well as non-judgmental. Acknowledge how she feels and see if you can take baby steps towards you having a partner. I can tell you from personal experience that when my wife and I started looking into this lifestyle, I had no intention of having a partner for myself and my wife was not arguing that point (essentially she would have allowed it if I wanted to, but she wasn't too excited about the idea). Well that has changed, my wife has shown an interest in me being with another female and I must admit I am turned on by the idea myself. As soon as you cross that threshold and enter the lifestyle, what you think you want now will drastically change... I hope my thoughts have helped you, if you have any questions you want to ask me please feel free to send me a private message or post it here. Additionally, I want to thank you for what you are doing for this country, please keep yourself and our other troops safe.
  15. bbarnsworth, Thank you very much for your insight and advice. We are taking it very seriously. I do have a few related questions and since what I am looking for seems to be similar to what your looking for maybe you can answer our question; I am going to assume you go to swinging clubs, when involved in a "foursome" is there ever a time that it is not a foursome, but a twosome, essentially your wife goes off with the male, but you do not go off with the female? In order to meet my wife's fantasy, would it be possible for us to go to a club and I end up "playing" with a female while my wife does not participate in any way shape or form? We thought of going to a club or even posting on a swingers board, but we were not sure if etiquette would not allow that. I hope that makes sense.
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