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Ambition87

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About Ambition87

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 01/01/1987

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  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Orlando, FL

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  1. 3rd party found out from him while they were getting intimate one night. He maybe talked a bit quick, but didn't sound like he gave names or details. We know him through a work connection, he works in the same industry as my wife (not same employer). We've gone out with him a few times while he dated a friend of my wife. I'm pretty sure he'd do this, she's beautiful and I think he's always looking to get laid. She is pretty cool with losing him as a friend if this thing falls apart. I think I can handle it, if I'm there. Not sure I can handle it with her alone. Great point about him having zero desire to do a MFM threesome - he very well may, not sure... Thanks for the thought provoking questions!
  2. For all that are following along my journey... an interesting twist of fate has occurred. Without dragging out the details, it's been discovered through a random (completely random) discussion with a mutual friend that this single guy in question was into the lifestyle with his former fiance. Word is that they had threesomes, foursomes, swapping, etc.. before they moved apart and couldn't handle the distance. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but it does lower my guard a bit. My wife & I also had another small discussion regarding the topic and she mentioned she'd be interested in a threesome (MFM) with this single guy. I would definitely feel more comfortable in a threesome situation, as at least I'd have a bit of control over the situation... Again, thank you to everyone who's followed along and chimed in the discussion. It's been wonderful to have your support (both for it and against it) - I know this thread is probably a bit self centered and drawn out, but it's been tremendous help!
  3. I want to clarify that I am interested in swinging. I've always been MUCH more sexual than my wife. I am pretty much the wild one between the two of us, bringing up the idea of threesomes, swinging, etc... The thought was she would sleep with this guy and I could sleep with someone of my choice. I think I'd rather a threesome with my wife, the thought of her with another woman is almost unbearable (She is more than willing, but she doesn't want to do too much of the girl on girl stuff - maybe just kissing and touching). I think part of me is just afraid of the unknown. I had always thought my wife would never want to get into any of this and here she is looking to explore. So I suppose apart of me is just shocked that she's getting into this concept... perhaps that's what I feel the most uncomfortable about. I think this feeling will diminish as I gain desire for my own sexual growth (which I've noticed over the past few days). Over the past few days I've been able to wrap my head around the fact of her sleeping with another man. I am okay with that and it excites me. I am also excited to sleep with another woman or perhaps a MFF. The biggest reason I came to these boards was to hear ya'lls opinion on this whole single male. I felt it had red flags but I wasn't sure if it was the lifestyle or the situation. I'm pretty convinced it's the situation, not the lifestyle.
  4. I think the general consensus is that this single guy is really not a good fit for our attempt of swinging. I want to emphasis that we are very early in this whole process and I'm guessing that many couples who are into swinging got started with a simple question - "Do you think you'd ever consider having sex with [insert name]?". Or at least a close variation... I think this is our entry into the discussion of the lifestyle. For the people who feel this is a train wreck waiting to happen, what would you think if she was completely cool with an alternative partner. Someone we don't know and nothing predetermined. Would this make the whole situation better? I believe that our situation has less and less to do with the single guy and more to do with the scenario (being that he's physically attractive, but a complete asshole that she couldn't stand being with, who's also discreet). In her mind, a safe bet to have sex with and not get attached to. All in all, the vibe I'm getting is that this single guy is asking for bad news. Although, maybe an experience with another couple could be good. If I understand this correctly, then it's exactly what I was thinking. Too much risk associated with a single man not in the lifestyle, but a couple swap could benefit us. Agreed?
  5. If I said no, she would not slip out and do it anyway - this I'm certain. She seems fixated on this guy, but I believe if I could find an excellent alternative she would accept. I think it's just kind of a current fantasy. Not necessarily the actual person. I'm looking good - I'm still in the process of shaping my body, but I've been athletically active my entire life playing sports and lifting weights. 190lbs 6'3 We are trying new adventures lately which has been awesome I receive attention from other women.. but between work and life I don't see many single women. So it's hard to fully gauge it.
  6. You nailed this right on the head. I think part of our problem sexually is that I was always in pursuit of her. Therefore, when we were young, she never had to pursue. All sexual contact was essentially started by me. Not to mention she was a strict Catholic at the time (now we're talking about swinging LOL ). I think she's scared that she's having sex 'wrong' or that perhaps I'm making love to her 'wrong'. She's been orgasming with less & less frequency and feels less 'heated'. I think she wants to figure it out if it's her or me. Then work on making it better. AND to top it off - she's feeling HOT right now. And she is smoking hot, every guy that walks by is looking at her. We're young & hot - feel like we're on top of the world. I think she wants to take advantage of that.
  7. First and foremost, thank you everyone for responding! Your thoughts and suggestions have varied, which is exactly what I wanted to read - thank you! In response to a few of the replies - my wife and I have excellent communication. I understand that this would be nearly impossible without communication. I went to these boards probably a little earlier than normal, but I'm a bit lost on the whole concept. (Although my parents are swingers..) Here's a little more background, this guy that she has 'selected' has been selected because of his looks as well as his ability to keep a secret. My wife really just wants to sleep with another guy to see how it is... It turns her on. I think the guy could be just about anyone who matched similar criteria (attractive, fit, clean, & secretive). However her distaste for the thought of swinging with another couple comes with the fact that she perceives swinging as 'dirty' & 'not secretive'. I agree, at the moment I think it's a bit dirty (but this is coming from a mid 20s guy who's only slept with one woman ). I'm quite certain I can handle the whole thought process of her sleeping with another man, but I don't like the loose ends of a single guy. But she feels that no one else at the moment can be trusted... As of right now, we're both roughly about 50/50 on it - (I'm prob 40/60 against it & she's probably 60/40 for it) It also sounds like a lot of distaste for bringing in vanilla people (lol not sure if I used that correctly) - which would include both this single guy as well as our potential threesome partner...
  8. Hello All! Brand new to this whole thing, and I have a question for anyone who can help. My wife and I are recently married after being together for 5+ years. We are in our mid 20s currently and have only ever been with each other (sexually). We've been bouncing around the concept of swinging for the past few months. Our sex life has been relatively average throughout the years. My wife enjoys sex, however the frequency of her orgasms have decreased over the years. She finds me attractive, however I think that she's losing the spark a bit. She wants to sleep with another man to ignite the spark and apply it to our relationship. She's more interested in sleeping with another man to try it out. I'm open to the idea of sleeping with another woman, but just not as excited as she is for herself. We have discussed her sleeping with a guy she knows, who she is physically attracted to - however has zero feelings for (and is insistent she never will). I am a bit apprehensive of giving up our lifetime exclusivity although I believe humans are instinctively against monogamy. My concerns are in the fact that this male is a single male. He has nothing close to the type of relationship that my wife & I have. This makes him a bit threatening to me, because of the lack of balance. He'll have something to one-up me on. We've discussed perhaps having a threesome (MFF) in order for it to be a fair exchange of sorts. All in all I'm a bit lost on how I feel about the whole thing. Some days I think it's the worst idea I've ever heard and we are risking our whole marriage for pleasure. And some days I think we both could benefit from sex with other people to further grow sexually. If anyone could give me some sort of advice - I would greatly appreciate it!
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