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toofartoosee

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toofartoosee last won the day on December 6 2009

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About toofartoosee

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  • Birthday 06/27/1969

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    M. Male
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    Ma
  1. Hell, purgatory, regret, I'm not sure which is which. But I will say I have been tormented by my selfish action action one night several months back. Seeing that it the eve of our anniversary I will confess my short comings to you all here. Big kickin house party. Lot O action. Was getting my drink on, and having a great time. Talking with a girl whom I had played with before several times, wife likes here a lot. Next thing I know she talking with two more girls, both of which I have played with before. They all start kissing each other while giving me rubs, and kisses too. Three really cranked up sex machines, all Bi, and ready to go. Cherry on the top! one more girl sees what going, and jumps in on the action. Four girls kissing rubbing, talking dirty, and tell me they want to run me through wringer. At this point all I can do is smile , and bob my head like some plastic bobble head on a dash board of some old pick up truck going down a bad country road. Here's the hell part, they grab me , and start to look for open room. During this time I see wife, she good for group stuff I try to grab her, figuring I can get her caught in the back draft of this crazy thing. I'm not talking so good because I have tequila, and my balls in my mouth. She start to follow along, we all end up in like the biggest open room ever... Talking like 40 by 60.. I start going at in this big pile of turned on women. But wife is just watching, not joining. She standing back thinking "you shit , we were supposed to play together, now your into a bunch of chicks in an open room". (we both know all these girls, not just some fresh hook ups) She then gets pissed off comes over lets me have the old, what the fuck!!!! I get dressed, then informed on how not to do things. Rest of the night is wrecked, not to mention the next couple of weeks I'm in the doghouse.... Yes I know I suck, and I still have regrets, which is the driving force to open the DOOR TO HELL...
  2. Merric; I have come across this thread via my wife who posts from time to time. When she is troubled and makes a post she will clean up response e-mails quite quickly, but in this case she did not. MMMMMM. We have been swinging for some four years now, almost five. And what I (we) have found is that quite a few we knew, we now know as Bi. A couple with a Bi man will not come out an admit it like a woman will. Before I move on to what I think is a discovery point which is underlying here I will say that " We have both done bi things. I said I liked it when she did it, she said not much when I did it. Strange to see her write now she not only liked it, but is fantasizing about it now. Most will admit that a double standard sucks, but we embrace them when woven into the fabric of our lives? What I find the most interesting about your thread is, and I wish you had asked it at the same time is, do you have fantasies about seeing your man have sex with other man, and at what point did you start thinking about it. Because it seems to me you had a turning point from not liking your woman picking up guys, and giving them oral, and not liking it. To as you said" it growing on you". We are here, and we have chosen this path. But before we got here we had a life time of baggage, baggage we didn't even know we were carrying. Another question, are things growing on us as we move on to newer things are we letting go of old baggage that keeps us from new kinds of pleasure? What I have come to see is that for the most part it not the sex I like the most about swinging, but the way it forces us into uncomfortable conversations, and challenging situations. Thanks for reading, wish you all the best.
  3. Hi everyone; great points. as far as me , and Mrs 2C, we always talk, and for as long as we get enjoyment from the conversation. We like to use it as a spring board for when we have our after going out get together, and so ons. I have tried to be very receptive to any of our swinging conversations, and us then as gauges to how we are doing all around. Sexcupid brings up something I have yet to deal with thanksfully. If the talks started to go in that dirrection I would take it as a warning sign. And try to make sure I understood why she wanted to know why I liked chocolate. Making sure that it was understood that it's nothing compaired to mint chocolate chip, which is by far the best for me. without over selling it, and looking like a kiss ass. Not that kissing ass is that bad a thing, but there is a time, and a place for it. 2C
  4. Dear messedup; I'm new here so I will be as kind as I can be, because mostly that's what I would like. First off think about what you thought swinging was going to be like when you first entertained the notion. Now realize that it's not just fantasy, but reality. It's not just you, and your man in you safe place calling that shots just the way you want them, then cleaning up, and going to bed. (we learned that one that hard way). Second thing you started this! Your husband is doing all he can to keep you happy while not getting lost, or making bad decisions. Third thing is you did not start off telling us about you being the queen of the BJ as far as you knew. So I think it is safe to say there is other things being held back from this forum, as well as your therapist. I know you say your being up front because of the money. But, what ever. Forth, you have everything you need to get through this if you just stop trying to be so damn rational. Ask yourself the question you don't what to know the answers to. Fifth, if I was to guess I would say without a doubt you are a control freak. On the night in question you not only didn't have control over your husband, but even worst you didn't have control over yourself, as you have stated. Now your just plain old pissed off, and you are making your self fell better by saying that you don't know who to forgive, and move on. Control is an illusion!!! But you are working so hard to prove other wise you risk all you have going. No one here has said it yet, but I will, you may have turned a corner that night for one reason or another, but your husband is going to reach a corner of his own soon. He didn't force any of this on you! People can only take so much. Please for the sake of our children, ask yourself the hard questions. Surrender to a lack of logic. You entered into a place of no life reference. Your trying to get answers to questions that aren't asked. You can't turn to you friends or family. For the most part your alone on this in your day to day life. If your driven by logic, then write your reasons for getting into this, all your expectations down. The things you did and what you wanted, and work your hard questions from there. Keeping in mind that expectation leads to disappointment. In ending your in a bad place rite now, but when you work your way through it you will be the better for it. So often we treat the symptom, and not the patient. Chances are your are going to have to deal with other issues as well as what is here now. When under pressure a good rule of survival is don't think about everything at once. One thing at a time is best. Wish you, and your husband well.2C
  5. Hi there pants; As I read, I think that once into the lifestyle you are now on a totally different state of being for the Nillas. If your confident, and thinking about it, then you will make connections you never did. You now have Playdar, and it going to ping wether you want it to or not, so keep that in mind. You see what you want to see. Like childern we see things in shadow shapes that just are not there. For instance We are freindly with a couple, and we were out, and she started joking about me being the other boy freind, and being flerty. I looked over at her and said. " have you, and your guy started experimenting". Well she did a double take, and didn't flert the rest of the night...At all...Which I thought was the funnest thing. Looking at from a swingers point of view at the Nilla's. I have also notice that when people feel safe they will be more flertatious, because inside they now nothing will come of it, it's an inoccent game, with friends. Keep in mind, that when radar was first made birds were cooked in mid-air mistakenly because the power was turned up so high. good luck 2C
  6. As I read this, I think that there might be room for things not to do before swinging. One that jumps to mind is. Take you time when shaving!!!! No , no Don't mind the band aid, It's cool, really...
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