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GeorgeofJungle

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GeorgeofJungle last won the day on March 28 2010

GeorgeofJungle had the most liked content!

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About GeorgeofJungle

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 11/07/1969

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Male half of couple Ursula is other
  • Location
    NY
  • Interests
    making things, growing things, fixing things and breaking things
  • Occupation
    Engineer
  • Swinging Experience
    Newbie
  1. hi. My phone doesn't have a chat app. I'll have to take a

    rain check.

  2. George, I'm in the chat room

  3. From Newpants: "That isn't karma. That's just reality and just makes sense whether you are a scientist or a spiritualist dontcha think?" I understand what you're saying; and if everything were under our control, I would agree completely. Science trys to model reality to predict consequences of actions or predict possible outcomes. Maybe I made it too cut and dried by mentioning "addiction"...we all know that addictions hurt the addict and the people around them. Karma and other spiritual notions are ways of explaining the unexplainable. These notions try to make sense of things that don't make sense...for instance, maybe you aren't an addict, maybe you do balance your life, or you think it is in balance...and then you or a loved one is diagnosed with a terminal illness. (I don't have this particular issue...just an example) Many times, when these things happen, we examine our lives, do some soul searching and maybe assign some measure of guilt to certain aspects of our lives (well, at least those of us who were raised Catholic...then studied far Eastern philosophy in college might :-) My wife and I have had fun, yet not always fruitful forays into the swinging world. We've talked about stuff that I never imagined we'd talk about...already experienced some adventures that seemed unimaginable a year ago. Yet we still have setbacks in our life...and that Catholic raised, Far Eastern trained side of me sometimes says...you know, if you hadn't gone to that swing party...or if you hadn't (insert something here)...maybe this unexplainable setback wouldn't have happened Those are the types of thoughts that I attribute to beliefs in karma, superstition, catholic guilt...whatever. Maybe I should just watch more Disney channel with my kids and enjoy the mind rot...problably wouldn't think so much :-)
  4. All great, thought provoking answers... To me "Karma" isn't the classical idea of this life changing the next life...it's more of the "what goes around comes around" type of thinking. I've always believed that good things come from things started with good intentions and bad things come from things started with bad intentions. Sort of a "reap what you sew" type of philosophy. I'm not saying that sex is bad...otherwise...I'd be a very bad, bad man :-) I can definitely see Fuse's philosophy having some merit. Same thing with SAM (Secret Asian Man). Alura..always a good read (insert respectful bow here). The people with addictions that I know also usually lie to or cheat others in order to feed their addictions...probably a defining characteristic of a destructive sexual experession vs swinging. I can also see the philosophical trap that Chicup identified...I can't remember how many times something bad in my life has happened and I think to myself...I shouldn't have done this or done that...trying to attribute some type of guilt for why it happened to me. I guess I'm going to need to get over that...as long as I'm being straight up with everyone and being sure to respect everyone involved.
  5. OK...this is going to sound weird...but...so does three guys, two dogs and four ladies in a tent...I don't know if anyone has tried that...I haven't...but I digress. I guess that I would say that I've always believed in sort of .....karma...superstition...whatever. But I'm a technically trained person, you know...logic, the experimental method, hypothesis, experiment, validation etc. One of my reservations, as we move into the world of swinging...is...well...karma. In my personal experience, I know a few people who are addicted to porn. It seems as though nothing goes good in their life. They're divorced, they don't have good jobs, they don't have good relationships with their kids...they're nice people...but their lives aren't "together". I guess that my emotional side is still fighting the feeling that, if I get far into swinging, my kids will turn from straight A students to shiftless cravens, I won't be able to hold down a job and I'll live in a run-down shack on welfare...although...with the state of the economy we all could be in the last boat. My technical side looks at this forum as a way to "experiment" and ask the question to a large group of people....so how have your lives been since you started swinging? If there is such a thing as karma...has it bitten you in the ass...or has it smiled down on you?
  6. I would have to echo the idea about alcohol. I have sort of a standing rule with "Ursula" that I don't make love when she's drunk. Don't get me wrong. If she's been out for the night, had a couple, comes home all frisky with the taste of wine on her lips...I'm all over her. But, if she gets a ride home, stumbles in the front door and collapses into bed...we exchange "I love you"s, kiss good night and curl up for the night. Oh, sometimes she thinks shes in the mood...but I've never had a good experience with her drunk...so now I just put the kibash to it. When she's drunk, she tastes like beer and moves like a jello shot I mean...when she's sober or had a couple, she tastes like sugar and moves like a cat...it's like WOW!...so anything else just pales in comparison. We recently met a couple out. When they showed up I was attracted to the wife's personality. She was a ball of fire, all exited to meet us, making great conversation. She didn't have any particular physical traits that attracted me; but what a great person. Well...a drink or two later, she's talking a little louder, being less discrete about it. (We were in a vanilla setting) I don't think she let the cat out of the bag; but the other three of us were definitely getting worried. We agreed to go back to their place to hang out for a while. Which we did; but we just talked some more and agreed to maybe meet again sometime. I know that some people say that sex is like pizza...it's never bad, just some better than others...well, I'd like to continue that thought...to me, sex with a drunk woman (which I've only experienced with my wife) turned out to be bad pizza...so I don't go for that style anymore :-) I look for the better pizza.
  7. George here. Just to close the loop for everyone who gave advice. Our first experience was apart. It was more of a hotwife type of situation than a same-room swing situation. There was chemistry between Ursula and him; but not between myself and the wife....well, there are a few roadblocks there, the other wife likes bi stuff...mine really didn't like that idea...along with some others Judging by the reception I got when we met back up...and how good our life together has been since...it worked out OK. She isn't packing her bags to run off with her partner and she's saying that she wants me there the next time. She's filled me in on the details; but, I won't relay them here...you'll have to ask her :-) Now...I'm not condoning this for everyone...and I'm not trying to give advice...being the novices that we are...I'm just giving back information to people who gave advice to us. Peace George
  8. Hi, George at the keyboard. So we went; and, in the end, we stayed together...we enjoyed the party and retired by ourselves to our own hotel room. That's still a treat for us, given our busy personal and work lives. Time alone together and privacy are very rare for us at home. We talked with quite a few people and had great conversation, when the opportunity arose. We didn't push any issues; and neither did the people we talked to. I will say that we learned quite a bit about the club scene; and we're on the fence with it. Before the music started, we had a great time talking and mingling, getting drinks... But, once the music started, it seemed that there were a set cast of characters that did their thing on the dance floor (pole dancing, bump and grind conga lines, girl on girl stuff, giving their male partner lap dances...). To us, this was more of a distraction; and it seemed harder for us to find conversation with others, as most people were either part of the above, or watching it. It also seemed that the people doing it had either contacted each other over the web beforehand...or they were veterans of this club re-hashing their act at yet another party. Call me odd...but I'm forty; and I've only spent about 5 minutes in a strip club. I'm wondering if there's something wrong with me. Don't get me wrong, we've watched porn together (occasionally) and we definitely still have "spark", and all the parts still work fine...it's just that, the stuff on the dance floor, including girls going topless...just didn't do anything for me...it sort of made me feel like I was watching a train wreck...you know...you look; but don't think you should. It definitely didn't attract me to the women that were doing it (well...with the exception of the pole dancer, but she had her clothes on...she just looked like she was having a blast)...does that make me odd??? On the other hand, Ursula has given me a lap dance in our bedroom before...that was hot! We hung out for a while and retired to our hotel room, where we had a great time. We also talked alot on the drive home the next day. We didn't rule out another party; and we didn't rule out going further into the lifestyle...we just talked about what we liked and didn't like. For instance, I told her that, even if we became regulars at the partys, you would never see me out in a "hump line" on the dance floor, or you would never see me grabbing womens' bottoms as they walked by (which was going on some). I also don't think you would ever see Ursula giving me a lapdance on the dance floor. Although, maybe she would give one to another guy someday...I can't speak for her. We did dance; but we danced like we would at any party. I always have my hands all over her, but it's mostly my hand to her hand, her hair, her back...you know, more like ballroom dancing. Are we prudes...or is there room for being a lady and a gentleman, even if you swing? Will this just make us seem too stuffy for the party crowd? I also wanted to add that we didn't stand there and criticize the people on the dance floor doing the stuff that I mentioned above...I mean, it WAS a swingers party...that's what it's for. We just didn't feel a need to become a part of it. George.
  9. Hi...George here...ummmmm Introductions are in order...Ursula, meet the illustrious readers of the swingers forums...illustrious readers of the swingers forums, meet Ursula. Ok...so everybody play nice now. (Awkward silence) Anyway Ursula and I have carried this debate on in the swinger's chat room with a few people for a while. We've discussed many, many aspects of what may or may not happen...while we didn't discuss forum etiquette...(sorry people). By the way, she flatters me. Don't believe it all. Although I do agree with her on the soul mate part. We were married young and have carried and/or dragged each other through one trial of fire after another, maybe that's why, even though we have been exclusive for a long, long time; and we're new to the idea of swinging...we still probably feel more comfortable separated than your average swinger. Open marriage? It's a matter of semantics...not sure if our ideas fit any distinct definition. As far as setting ourselves up for failure? Well...in this case failure is an option. I mean, doesn't everything in life turn out one of three ways: 1. You get what you want. 2. You fail to get what you want and leave it that way 3. You settle for something different or less than what you want. If we fail to get what we want out of a club or party experience...it's no big deal...the discussions of the past few weeks have given us an even stronger marriage to fall back on while we sort things out. Heck, we could just use a night out together anyway.
  10. Actually I did appreciate the advice. Others on this board obviously have experienced all different situations when it comes to swinging. I do respect that. I did respond a little out of anger and for that i do apologize. Im not sure where George and I will go with this situation, if we will ever swing at all. But, like I said it has already made us stronger in so many other aspects of our every day communication with each other. And for this, I am very thankful.
  11. hi susan. ursula here. yes i have read all the posts and quite frankly most irritated with yours. no, we are not looking for an open marriage. Im sorry but the thought of another woman pleasing my husband does not turn me on and i dont think it will even if we try it. I am well aware of the pleasure my husband gives me and I know any woman would be very fortunate to be pleasured in every way by this handsome, sexy and fun loving man that i am lucky to be married to. He truly is my soul mate and I believe I am his. We are discussing this swinging thing a lot. Maybe too much, I dont know. But I can honestly say that since we have approached this subject about swinging that we have been very close and have talked much easier about a lot of subjects and concerns in our every day lives as well. I also want to say that having sex is not done by reading a book. So, dont misunderstand what we are asking about it here. We all have our own preferences. I for one, dont want to be mechanical in a bedroom. I love to feel with my whole being and give everything I have to the one I am laying down with. So, with that being said. I hope noone is offended by my reply. All of your advice is being noted. I dont know maybe the swinging world isnt for George and I but I guess that is something we are going to decide amongst us. But thank you to everyone for their inputs and advice.
  12. Seems that there is confusion as to my intentions. I always intended for all four to meet initially. It just seems like it would be nice to get to talk to each other one on one at some point. My main question is about when it comes right down to it. It seems that it's almost assumed that I'll be practically breathing down my wife's neck when she is playing with her partner. I think it would be fun to take advantage of the voyeuristic opportunities allowed by couples play; but sex is also about attention, closeness and attraction...even if it is without deep emotions (or am I missing something here?) I've seen posts where the husband is coaching his wife to make eye contact with him while she is playing with another man. I've also seen posts that mention the dangers of closeness and emotional attachment, jealosy...all that... I'm not even saying that we have to be in separate rooms...I guess I'm trying to find out how much personal space is usually allowed to people when they are playing. I mean, to me, eye contact and other sensual aspects of sex are a big turn on. I don't know if I'd be having a great time if my partner was being distracted too much; and I don't know if my wife would like me distracting her when she's playing. Although...I don't think she would think I was "distracting" her if it was an MMF situation :-) She and I have talked about this...I guess we'll talk about it some more; and we'll talk about it with anybody that we would be meeting. I want to make sure that we're all OK and that we all have a good time. There is a book called "communicology" that I recently read (well, skimmed)...has some very interesting reading regarding personal space and such...anyway...thanks for the advice all. George
  13. Hi all, Ursula and I are planning on going to a club in the near future. We've chatted with a few people here and we've talked with each other. One point that we seem to be at odds with most swingers is as follows: It seems that the "typical" couples swap is initially same room sex. Alot of people are asking us if we're ready to watch each other. Well...is this is how I would envision a swap. We meet with a couple. We go to a restaurant/lounge type of place. Ursula and the other man go to a table, myself and the other woman go to a table and we eat/drink/talk maybe even dance, if it's available with our prospective partner for a while. I guess this could happen at a club as well...don't know. If everybody is agreeable, we continue on. At that point, it seems like, if we swap, everyone is urging us to do it in the same room...it's supposed to be a big turn on for me to watch Ursula and her to watch me. Well...maybe it is. But, is it strange or even dangerous (i.e. too much jealousy/attachment) for us to consider that we would like to be near to each other (i.e. adjacent rooms, where we could hear each other) without being right on top of each other and watching each other with another partner? I guess I'm just wondering why it's almost 100% assumed that, if we swap, I will be right there watching her get laid. Thanks all.
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