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Famous04

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15 Good

About Famous04

  • Rank
    Just Getting Started
  • Birthday 04/04/1986

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  • Relationship Status
    couple
  • Location
    DFW

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  1. How is it you know the other couples decided this together? How is it you know we just set boundaries and dove right in? With all due respect your making all of you assumptions based off of just my writing in a forum? I had originally written this piece for comfort, maybe people who could relate, instead I felt I was attacked from some and judged from others, albeit a few people did help. As I believe I had already stated this situation was something I would have to figure out for myself, because the only way for anyone reading these forums to have all the facts is to have been either myself, or my now ex. I admit I let my anger of my situation get the best of me and I should not have let a forum get to me as it did, but with that being said, To anyone who posted in a positive, helping, comforting manner, I thank you very much. But to all the people who judged, made bias decisions, or virtually stuck their finger in my face, Please the next time someone on these forums asks for help, Try and be helpful, even if you think they are wrong, try and remember you can not possibly have all the facts, so instead of judging maybe try offering helpful ways to deal with stress, or things you might do to calm down when your upset, otherwise maybe it would be best just to say nothing at all.
  2. The problem most of you people don't understand is that I have never been so miserable as I was later that night, and the following days, no one has ever made me feel that bad, and it is an extremely scary thought that someone has the ability to do that, and did it. I am also human, and what this event made me realize is I need to do a little more growing, and I believe she needs to do just as much growing, if not more. I can't grow with a shadow hanging over me at all times. Its as if I said at the beginning any advice received on a swingers forum has to be taken lightly, because only I can make decisions for myself in a situation like this, I did what I felt was best for both of us. I felt I couldn't easily forgive her, so I'm attempting to move on. I'd also like to note all the people who said I have control issues, I have yet to meet another couple who didn't have come kind of control over one another. Be "he doesn't play, only I do with other girls" "ohh tonight's all about me, he's just gonna watch" both real things I heard this past weekend before our mishap.
  3. And on a final note, I have decided to agree with everyone on here in one aspect, making her try to win me back does no good for anyone. So on friday she's moving to her moms.
  4. I'm sorry but I disagree with you and believe you are wrong in this matter, the purpose of swinging for us, or at least I was lead to believe was the idea of getting the tease from others which would make our sex that much more passionate. Everyone who is in the lifestyle knows the "no means no rule", Everyone says that you start swinging as a couple, if anyone of the couple says no to anything, that is the way it should be.
  5. The problem with your response is you gave an scenario of what if I had made the same mistake, but as I had stated I trust in myself to not make that same mistake, having a hot lady sit in my lap and wiggle is not a problem to achieve and I believe I have great self control over a situation like this. However having a loving partner who respects me is rare, and as u said u must give respect and trust to receive it. Well I did give out my trust and respect, thats why I was not always watching her as some of you have said I should have been doing, I respected/trusted her to not mess up. I honestly believe that if your truly in love with someone that emotional trust will always overpower any physical attraction you have with someone else, it works for me, or at least it did. So for me to be happy I need someone who can be on the same level as myself. The idea to getting into the lifestyle was agreed that we could go out and have fun as long as the grand finale was always with each other. We had talked about this many times in full detail and the rules were very clear and agreed upon, this was something that we decided almost a year ago when we started doing this, and up to the other night we had had fun with our rules because everyone was winning. I'm sorry but I don't care how hot or attractive someone is, that is not worth breaking your rules and the trust your partner has for you, end of story.
  6. 1. Yes she was apologetic and I'm fairly certain she feels bad about it, but no that does not make it right. If a drunk driver ran over a kid, I'm most certain they would feel bad about it, but they would still serve time. 2. We are not the same person, if she goes to the bar and buys a few extra drinks its impossible for me to know exactly how much she has had and unless she's going up/down stairs she's pretty good a keeping her balance when drunk. At the point we were at the club I trusted her to make right decisions, so no I did not watch her at all times because I do not like being watched at all times, I trust myself to make right decisions and I feel I should be able to trust my girlfriend, my friends, my family, etc... to also make good ethical decisions, If a person breaks that trust, shouldn't they have to deal with the pain that follows? Up to this point I felt as if I was betrayed and I had been hurt, but now I think I have realized that it's not my loss, My life will still continue with or without her in it, If she decides she wants me in her life then she must rebuild that trust. It's not my responsibility to help her rebuild it, if she truly feels bad for what she did, then she will come up with a way, no matter what it takes.
  7. Okay so last night we went out a swingers club that we go to quite often and ended up fooling around with a few other couples, everything is great right? Well the one thing we have always specified is that we are only a soft swap couple, no full swap, at least not until we are both 100% sure we are ready to get to that step. So I'm having some fun with a girl and look over and my girlfriend is fucking the hell out of some guy, obviously I was pissed. She says its only cause she was drunk and didn't realize what was happening, which tells me she didn't have control of her situation. Now I'm at that point of I don't know what to do, because I'm really hurt and disappointed in her, we recently bought a house together. On top of that now when I look at her I either get disgusted or angry. I realize that any advice I receive on a forum should be taken lightly, but it would be nice to see what people's opinions are.
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