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payodie

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15 Good

About payodie

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 06/21/1969

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Vancouver, BC
  1. I guess it comes down to this: since I am not OK with her meeting this guy separately, and without telling me, then it is not OK. We will have to talk about this together. I will update you all. Thanks for the responses. I am so very glad I found this place:)
  2. I think I am going to be in the parking lot, with the home phone forwarded to the cell. If I get a call saying she needs to work late or worse, they look like they are going somewhere together, I will confront them. Your (brutally) honest comments on this have been very helpful, please keep them coming!!
  3. Thanks for the input, when we first started talking about this we came to the conclusion that we are definitely a same-room-same-bed type of couple. I am not interested in doing anything without her being a major part of it, and she says the same. I am very glad that you have an agreement that works for you both, as that is what is most important; it’s just not for us, I believe.
  4. OK even more good points. As far as meeting him in front of the people she works with, I don’t know what to say. I know at least one of the girls she works with knows about what we (talk about) do(ing), as for how it may be explained to the rest, I’m not sure… As far as her use of alcohol goes; this is usually not a problem, as I said we skipped lunch that day and she was drinking wine (not her usual choice) so the idea that it hit her a lot harder than expected is possible. Hard to admit (I am a man after all) but she could normally drink me under the table, she is a controlled drinker though and other than this night I cannot remember a time when she has gone overboard. The main reason I brought it up is my belief that a drunk will always tell the truth, and this is when she said the “can’t handle seeing you” statement. As far as me worrying about the couples thing I only bring it up due to what I said before “a drunk will always tell the truth” and another poster had suggested it may become an ongoing problem. If we never play with another couple I am OK with that, as long as we are honest with each other. I think once we get past the current issue (assuming we do) I may post that scenario to see what others think without the much more important issue of the (secret) private meeting getting in the way.
  5. Good advice, thank-you. Does anyone else want to comment on the idea that she may never want to play with a couple? More as a side note to all this but the idea that she could go back to the "not being able to handle seeing me with another woman" is possible. She says she is past it, but how do we know?
  6. I understand the safety issue here; at first I was not too worried about that as she asked him to meet her at her work (a bar) where she will certainly be safe. Of course things could go wrong (in more ways than one) if she decided to go somewhere else with this guy. Sitting in the parking lot is not a bad idea, I’m torn between that and calling her to confront her on it.
  7. Yes, after work today. I had not planned on bringing this up until after she gets home. I guess I want to find out if she has plans on telling me about the meeting. I think that will tell me alot.
  8. So the better half and I have been talking about swinging for about a year now. We have spent many hours talking about what we want and why, we have laid out some ground rules for when we “actually get there” and are both comfortable with what we are trying to do. We met up with one couple a few months ago, we had spent the day together getting everything ready for our big night, Terri likes to have a drink now and then so we picked up a bottle of wine so she could have a couple of drinks before we left for the restaurant. What we did not have was lunch so needless to say by the time we got to the restaraunt she was “very happy”. We meet up with our couple and had some good conversation and everything seemed to be going well. Teri excused herself to go to the ladies room and after about ten minutes with the three of us sitting at the table we started to wonder what had happened. The other couple’s better half went to the washroom to find her and came back saying I needed to go talk to Terri. She was in the washroom crying and when I went in she said “take me home now”. On the drive home she explained that she was worried about what might happen and she did not know if she could “handle” seeing me with another woman, and that alcohol had hit her pretty hard making her feelings much stronger and harder to deal with. After this we took a step back and talked a lot about what we were doing and why. She says that had she not been so affected by the booze things would have been different, she wanted to do this and no she did not fear seeing me with another woman. We talked a lot and decided that maybe our best way to jump in was with a mmf threesome. No worries about me with another woman, and we would be able to re-evaluate after we went through with it. So we made some contact with a couple of guys on AFF and have been chatting with them for a couple of weeks trying to find our best match. We had short listed it down to two and last night Terri was chatting with one of them. I was around, watching TV etc. while they talked. When they were done I asked how it went and she said it was fine and they would be chatting more this week. The next morning I was browsing through the chat logs (Terri knows I do this, we both do it, as a matter of fact) when I came across her inviting him to meet her after work today. He said if he could make it out he would. Now I am not suggesting that they would meet up for more than a drink and conversation (rule #1: we only play together) but I am wondering if other people think this is OK? I have read many threads on here and some suggest when setting up a threesome it may be advantageous for her to meet him separately to make sure there is chemistry. I have no problem with this; I would just like to be aware it is happening. So my basic question is: What do you think of this? I plan on talking with her to let her know I don’t like her setting up a meeting without my knowledge, but do I have bigger worries here? What would you do in my situation?
  9. We started talking about swinging after she brought up her desire to go to a sex club, "to just watch". After talking about it for months we have still not gone to that sex club but are very close to our first meeting with someone. We will not be "just watching"
  10. We have been talking about this for over a year now (together for 12). We meet one couple for dinner but things did not work out (not because of them). We are now looking at a MFM to get us started but what we think we really want is same room full swap, party type experiences. Maybe one of these days.
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