SOONERCOUPLE99

You may be right about this coming to a more poly situation Julie. We are definitely exclusive for the time being, but we all feel really comfortable together. The wives want to go out and dance at one of the local swinger clubs at some point. But knowing the wives, we go their enough, and we will end up swinging with someone else. We have talked about the cross jealousy thing. I brought it up immediately when I felt it, but it really isn't a big deal. It was not a real intense feeling but it was comparable to the feeling I used to have when this certain other friend of mine would enjoy hugging my wife a little too much. We have a lot of pretty close friends but none of them will be knowing about this. We had our first completely full swap tonight. The other wife had some feminine issues so my wife took most of the banging, so she is pretty sore. It is ok though, she has been channeling Marilyn Chambers. It was a good night to get grand parents to watch children without too much suspicion. My wife and I prepared a new salmon dish we found and they came over for dinner. The wives had bought a bunch of new outfits together, so they put some of those on after a quick dinner. We had a lot of fun, we gave the wives some sensual massages, and had some more fun. Then we went out for a bite before everyone but me passed out. It is pretty crazy how comfortable we have been with this, and it has been a pretty wild, though long week. We have all been normal outside of this. We still do our goofy guy stuff, and they still do their silly girl stuff. Anyway, I am pretty tired right now. I may have some more to say later. I just wanted to let everyone know that Valentine's worked out pretty damned good.

I also wanted to say thanks for all the wonderful compliments, Fun4D's. And thanks everyone else, even if it is criticism. Your interest shows a lot about the maturity of the community. To the point about friends swinging failures these days, maybe it has something to do with the general marriage climate these days. Over half of marriages end badly, so why wouldn't swapping relationships. This is a general reflection of people's commitment to their marriages, and of people's sexual repression. In fact, more people are interested in swinging than they would allow themselves to admit. However, this admission would be beneficial to the marriages and families that repression can destroy. There is nothing wrong with being committed to multiple partners. Evolutionarily, we are built for it. I believe it is why women tend to me more bi-curious than men. Sociologically, almost all of society are swingers or at least polyamorous if you have a strict definition of swinging. We all know couples who have divorced then remarried. Assuming they had sex in their first marriage, then had sex with their new partner in their second marriage, they have committed polygamy. Sociologists call it serial monogamy or serial polygamy. And since marriages end because of sex, money, or religion you could surmise that many families could be saved by sexual openness and possible responsible polyamory. Just a portion of my thoughts on the failure of modern marriage in general.

Everything is going great so far. No holy shit moments, just a lot of "this is freaking awesome" moments. The next day we went to church together, the wives went shopping together, and then we hung out a bit to let the kids play. All normal stuff. The girls said they had a few things to giggle about when shopping and some completely innocent things now sound naughty. It was pretty funny when my friend told his kid that, "you share with your friends." We talked a little more and we are all excited for Valentine's Day. We will have dinner at home and then go to it again. Interestingly, the husband and I have developed a cross-jealousy syndrome. I don't want anyone outside of our group looking at his wife now, and vice versa. We have no jealousy between the four of us, but we don't want any of our other friends talking about our wives boobs. It won't change the way either of us acts and we will still talk about the same stuff with them. I just found it funny both of us had the same little pangs when we thought about it.

I want to sincerely thank everyone for their honest and cogent replies. But it is kind of a moot point now, because it just happened. My wife and her were spending the evening together talking about sexual openness and their fantasies. And my wife told her that this morning, we had sex while fantasizing swapping with them. The husband and I finished our night out early and decided to head over to his house to see how things were going. We sat down and they were being giggly. Later we found out they were making Valentine's Day plans to play with each other for us. So we start talking, I decide to ramp up things a little and I throw out some compliments. The wives finally decide to play a little and before you know it we are all intertwined going at it. I had completely planned for this to be really slow, but it was just a whirlwind. It was pretty amazing and all parties loved it. It is funny that there was absolutely no jealousy. I had a little stage fright but had a great time none the less. I am sparing all the details, but I can share if you guys like. I would say that swinging with your friends isn't for everyone. We are all really close, honest, and secure. We all go to church together, and it is funny but I even prayed for guidance in this matter. I knew I wanted this but I didn't want to mess anything up in the process. My wife and I have been together for almost 13 years and the other couple had been together for around a decade. My wife knows exactly but I just can't keep track of my friends anniversary. My point is that we have all four had a long time to settle into our relationships and made it past some of the traditionally more challenging years. A lot of the other things I read on this were people who had been together for a small amount of time, something like only a year. In that case, I would advise against swinging though I think I would have been cool then, my wife would not have. So maybe our success has something to do with the length and security of both marriages. So, next meeting will be Valentine's Day, dinner and bed party at our house. None of us can hardly wait

Thanks for the responses so far. We are a pretty open group of friends sexually. We talk all the time about what we do in bed, and not in a fantastical way. We have joked about swinging and key parties and stuff like that a lot. So I definitely understand using humor. I understand all your points on the swinging with traditional friends. Those are all valid concerns of ours as well, and things that I have brought up already, and things I will bring up when we all talk. Really, I am for starting in a club scene, but my wife is adamant about doing it with someone she knows. I think the club would be easier in a lot of respects. But if my friend knew that we could have been swinging the whole time, he would be nonplussed. So I decided I could give them the first shot. For me, the level of the sexual activity is irrelevant. If it is just heavy petting between the girls and then part ways for sex, that is a start. If they want to do oral on each other and then we do same room sex, that is good. If we really get into it and go full bore swapping that is great. Or if we just talk about it and decide they aren't ready then that's fine too. It would just probably be a little while before my wife and I get the opportunity. And it may be the only opportunity for my friends. That's my thinking right now. It isn't a dying need that this happen, but I feel there is a good chance it will. I think my wife will bring it up this weekend, joke about another couple we know, open up about some sex stuff, question her a bit, then mention the making out thing and that they should do that. Then see if she wants us all to sit down and talk about what we would be comfortable with. That's almost the same approach I took with the husband.

My wife and I are very interested in swinging and we have some friends that are very close to us. I know they have spoken about swinging and group sex before but have not went through with it. My wife and her have already talked about making out. I have talked with the husband and he is good to go, but as I thought my wife needs to talk to his wife. So how should we approach this? I have seen two options so far: 1) My wife speaks with her this weekend and brings it up in much the same manner I did, just talking about fantasies and openness in our relationships. or 2) We all sit down and talk about it. This would help my wife because I think she is more than a little nervous to bring up the subject. But I feel it might overwhelm the other wife. I just want everyone to feel comfortable and at ease, and think this is a very real, very soon possibility.