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My Next 65

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33 Excellent

About My Next 65

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 08/21/1943

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    widower
  • Location
    morris Ill
  • Occupation
    retired Space Worker

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    My next 65
  1. My idea of what needs to be taught by parents is that sex is a natural emotional desire that doesn't need to be repressed. (dictonary: affected by psychianalytic repression). Repression (dictionary: the process by which unacceptable desires or impulses are excluded from consciousness and thus being denied direct satisfaction are left to operate in the unconscious). Sex is not an unacceptable desire. Sex as unacceptable is taught. That definines teaching inhibition and causes guilt in recognizing a natural desire. Taught that sex is a different emotion than love. The word 'making love' should not be a word used for having sex. Taught that sex, not bring unacceptable, is in fact a very enjoyable thing to experience. It causes receptors in our brain to stimulate excitement. Excitement in abundance is thrill. It releases chemicals in our body that result in stimulating pleasures. Knowing sex is not love, that there should be no inhibition or guilt at experiencing it. And having sex is a wonderfully exciting, thrilling and very pleasurable activity to be enjoyed leaves only one thing to be learned. That some people find sex with others than their spouse to be a very rewarding addition to their enjoyment of the fun of sex. Now assume that proprity in conduct, the importance of love and trust in marriage and all those important things I may not have mentioned are impressed on their mind. It seems to me that if you as a swinger believe it is a good thing, that it is something you are happy you discovered, that you would want them to discover it too. If you could somehow, over time, be responsible for them learning it is an acceptable, normal, shameless, guilt free and fun lifestyle, would you not want to do that? If it is good for you, why not introduce them to the secret? That is my only question.
  2. One thing I agree with all of you about is my poor ability to write so it is more understandable. I type AS I am thinking going off one way to make a point then to another that doesn't seem relavent and it is a jumbled mess to you. In my disorganized mind, which you can't read, I connect all the dots. What I mean to convey is very often not written so you understand. Much of the time I assume things to be understood. Never thought I would have to cover all the bases, that I should have to rule out pedo or illegal or 12 yr olds or make clear age appropriate would need to be said. Assume made an ass out of me. For these shortcomings leading to your conclusions, I do apologize.
  3. Wow. I knew I was pushing the envelope to its limits when I wrote this thread. There has been a sexual revolution in my lifetime. Condoms were illegal to sell. Sex education was about the birds and bees. 50 years later condoms are given out by public high schools,maybr even jr. high. Kindergarten children are taught about the dangers of pedophiles. Age apporpriately thru the grades answers are given to 'where do babies come from' and later physical info on conception, including accurate drawings of male and female genitalia. I do feel that is a good thing. But kids in my generation were told BS about sex as NCMD Couple said. Everything we were taught created inhibitions about sex. I applaude those of you who told their kids the truth and said that in you reply. Sex education is of course age appropriate. But when appropriate it should include realities. Sexual desires are born. What do you tell a kid when you suddenly observe them masturbating? You assure them (I hope) it is okay, it is natural, they aren't doing anything wrong. . There eventually has to come issues not in school text books. That's where parental education comes in. You as parents need to educate about promiscuity, exceptable behavior, gays as existing, nudism as existing. Things they are going to see in real life and need to be knowledgeable about. Swinging may be the last. But if you believe as I do, what I said in my opening about swingers being enlightened, realizing sexual desires ARE born in us, sex is not love, overcoming societies BS inhibitions and that love and marriage is so, so, so important, are you not lacking in sex educating your child if that is what you believe is important? That describes swinging. There is no need to go into swinging education. Just an explanation that it is something that some people do, like there are nudists and poligimous marriages, and commited relationships without marriage. You don't need to reveal you are in the swinging lifestyle. Kellime is lucky to not have hang-ups or feel guilty or think there is anything not normal about couples swinging. That is something that YOU have to believe if you are reading this! She grew up knowing that. You came to that conclusion after a lot of thinking and thats what YOU came up with. As NCMD admitted about sexual education, if he was raised in Kellime's situation, he might have had a different outlook on what he taught his children. I have read so many threads about how happy a couple is about their first swinging experience and so many long time swingers threads about the thrill of hot sex experiences. Is it so wrong for you to educate your child about what you yourself think is the prefered sexual activity in your life second only to making love to your spouse? Is it wrong to flatly believe there is nothing to be learned about what is important in a marriage by looking for the things that matter most in choosing a lifetime love by having sexual experiences that relogates sex to just play? Maybe introducing them to a couple who will open the door to what you yourself have discovered is coming with the progression of sexual attitudes in a future time. I think from what Kellime wrote she felt about swinging, she would have accepted that as an opportunity. To those few who answered this thread by expressing your thoughts about sex education, thank you. To those who called me a pedo and think it was about a perverted desire to pop a 12 year old cherry......well I don't give a damn about hearing your tirade. You just made a thread smutty. It was a thread for thought about your lifstyle and if you think you want your age approperate child to see sex as you do and would perhaps show them a pathway. I have no children and no opinion, I just expressed what I think is in line with what considerations a swinger would use in guiding them using their outlook about their own choice of lifstyle.
  4. I believe swingers are the most sexually enlighten in our society. You correctly differenciate between love and sex. You understand sexual desires are in our DNA. You have overcome learned inhibitions that ignore that fact. You have reasoned that following the code in our DNA is an advancement in understanding natures design. You see inhibitions and guilt are a stigmatism of those who have not thought deeply enough to understand all that I have said you have learned. And our society passes down generation to generation their lack of knowledge and understanding of what swingers have learned to be true. Sex is not a sin of the flesh. In marriage one does not own the other, it is not a 50/50 relationship where one sacrifices half of themselves to accomodate half of the other. In a marriage we come to know each other well. But perhaps not well enough to in some marriages to get passed the persona we creat in courting, projecting herself as a "Princess" who needs to be cared for and himself as a "Knight in shining armor" who will protect her and her virtues. A good marriage is knowing each other intamately enough to get beyond that persona and realize a relationship is 100/100. We should not have to sacrifice any of who we are to the other. After saying all that, I assume most swinging couples would agree? They would be an advocate of their own views As swingers, they can accept their spouses desire for sex with someone else as folowing a natural born genetic desire. As play only, fun to temporarily express hot emotions, experience the excitement of sexually stimulated extasy, to enjoy purely physical plesure, the thrill of new adventure, and the devilrey of doing something "naughty" in the face of society. So now the question. Do you in any way, say with a daughter, pass on to her your enlightened views in sexually educating her? Don't say it is up to her to decide. She needs points of view and knowledge to make her decisions. Do you provide her with yours? Young girls are sexually curious and inclined by their hormones to want to have sex. Have you ever thought her run away hormones might result in her giving away her virginity to the first boy who gets his hand under her bra? That her first experience might be three minutes in the back seat of a car. Often sex seems to be love and a factor in young marriages. Don't flame me for this. I remember when condoms were illegal to sell. Even thinking about sex was taboo until after marriage. Now there are sex education classes starting in early grades and condoms are given out in schools. Would you teach her all you have learned about DNA desires, sex vs love, the caring relationship in a marriage and the acceptance of swinging without inhibitation or guilt and the increased enjoyment of life's fun ? Would you feel it proper that she be taught good sex rather than being groped, felt up and advertised as 'easy' and 'puts out' by her 'boyfriends' who then dropped her, maybe get pregnant. Or fall in 'sexual love' and marry for that reason? Would you allow. suggest or arrange for her to have sex with an experienced husband of a swinging couple who would teach her? Would it be good for her later to be escorted to a pary house or club by the couple to experience different men. Do you think that she would use a better criteria in choosing a husband than just sex? Would she better recognize a possisive jealous boyfriend, a possible spouse abuser, a sex plaything for a deadbeat, in selecting a mate with her same libido and other causes of a bad and failed marriages? How would you handle her sex education? As I said, please do not flame me, it is for thought and discussion of others thoughts. I'm told the Myans and Nostrodemus say the world will end in 2012 so don't let this thread upset you.
  5. Thank you Ivory Towers. Even though I miss-read the poll, I received an answer that addressed my thread. First let me say my wife passed away last year. The Swingers Board gives me a way to occupy my sexual thoughts and keeps the fire down below going by interacting on sexual thoughts that stimulate. What is a "manly" man is a hard question for me to expand on. I guess it means to me that her hot sexual desire is to have sex with a male who wants to "give her" (key words) the total masculinity she so wants in her base desires My sexuality is served best by seeing a woman as a submissive creature wanting to be taken. To have seen the look on her face, her eyes rolling back in her head and moans of pleasure while being 'done' by another man sends signals that tell me she is overcome by a desires to totally submit to a man who feeds her wantonness. He is most stimulated by seeing her response to what he is giving her. Thus she is the receiver, he the giver. Guess my thoughts are that a guy who has sex with another guy while she watches makes him less masculine, in her eyes, and not as capable of fulfilling her wantonness for a man as a husband who would do other men. It is informative that your wife would think that if one man is hot naked, then him having sex with another guy is 2x as hot. I am bi-sexual. Meaning I am uninhibited enough to see the dick as a sexual object of interest and without a thought of same gender or having a desire for temporary emotional involvement as in kissing that I would have with a female, something to play with and enjoy orally in the same way a woman does. It seems "straight" guys are in the majority in feeling homophobic. I do not feel that way but must admit I have always thought females would share the same idea. I don't know if the thoughts of Mrs. Ivory Tower are shared in the common or one of just a few. Perhaps a thread would answer that question. Would you care to ask? I would like to know but homophobia seems to be prevalent and replies likely to reject the question and flame the writter. I have mentioned m/m oral sex before (with another ID name) and the replies intimidated me so much I changed my ID name . Or perhaps I have missed such a thread in the archives that someone can point out.
  6. I have just read the poll about wives preferences for 3somes. The vast majority of you women voted you would like to find a male for your husband. That surprises me greatly. I once had a bi experience and kept it a secret from my wife. I don't "like" men, it was just a curiosity about what 'it' would feel like in my mouth, what a women feels hot about doing it. Was actually very exciting, felt stiff, warm and fleshy soft and was curious if I could deep throat, I could. But as far as my wife watching or knowing, I felt she would see me as less masculine, not a manly man any longer. Guys, what do you feel about this? Is there a different perspective seen by men? Guys like to watch girl/girl action and don't think it makes the wife less feminine because she goes down on another female. Girls, what do you like about the idea of watching another male with your husband? What is the turn-on that makes 87 percent of you women prefer to watch a male with your husband and so few of you wanting another male for yourself in a 3some?
  7. I have said this before. Everyone has a persona, the person that others see us as being. We configure our thoughts and feelings to conform ourselves to that image. We become that person. We may actually have a different view of what we want, who we see ourselves as being buried deep beneath the expectations, the inhibitions and the social correctness of our environment. I think perhaps buried in all of us is a natural desire for sex that would not limit us to one partner or even one gender if it were not for all the reasons amassed over tens of thousands of years that has made marriage and fidelity and gender the norm. In todays world it is within our ability to protect all these reasons in our social life and let loose our inner desires with controlled abandon. Those who swing find other swingers. They do not reveal themselves to vanilla friends who see them in their own image. Our wives would not strip naked before one of our vanilla friends because it is totally out of charachter and unexceptable behavior. Yet with the inhibitions lifted amoung other swingers who do not expect differently. she may strip, seduce and engage in sex with a number of men without an inhibition. I think there is a naturally born gene for sex. I think that the first step in releasing it is to find there is no sin of the flesh, no sin in the natural desire for sex. In marriage this has to be understood by both, that in a secure loving marriage of trust and dedication, it must be understood that nothing is lost or given away. It is part of life to be experienced as playtime, a passion to be felt with all the chemistry of pleasures it brings. The exhileration of running naked on a beach. A relationship between husband and wife is what each expects the other to be. When a man and a wife can see that light, only then can it be. It cannot be coerced, it must come to light from the inner realization that it is nothing more than adults at play. How you show her that, I think, is to come to know each other beneath the inhibitations of persona. I am not an advisor, I just play one on Swingers Board.
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