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shes_in_parties

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About shes_in_parties

  • Rank
    Active Contributor
  • Birthday 07/03/1975

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    NYC
  • Swinging Experience
    6 years

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    shes_in_parties

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  1. Well, it's only ever really been good for us as a couple meeting other couples. I think since you're temporarily a single guy the odds are against you. We got together with swinger friends last night and had replies from 2 or 3 other couples planning to meet us, but no one showed. Good thing we had our friends!
  2. yeah, someone mentioned that above. Nowhere was that felt more than here in Boston. CL eliminated their "erotic" services and replaced it with "adult" services, whatever the difference is. Ironically, it means that prostitutes now flood the therapeutic massage section. They should put it back the way it was - reactionary decisions are rarely sound. It doesn't seem to have affected Casual Encounters at all.
  3. What interesting replies! It's true that craigslist is more immediate, and I imagine that's a good part of the draw for many people. That said, our best experiences there were when we emailed people for a good week or two before schedules worked out to meet up...but I suppose it's the promise of immediacy that draws people. We've found that the easiest way to tell if a couple is real (after our various spidey senses weed out the obvious fakes and not-readies) is to show up at a pre-arranged bar. Safe, public, and if we get stood up, we have a date night to ourselves. After a bit it's very clear who's worth chatting to and who's not, every bit as much as on a lifestyle site. Thanks for the tip about kijiji!
  4. Pardon the heresy, but what are peoples' thoughts? We tend to use craigslist more than lifestyle sites. While there is a lot of flim-flammery on craigslist, it's easy enough to post an ad and ignore the spammers and pic collectors. There's something to be said for anonymity; no one knows if we have seen their reply, liked their pics, decided they are fake, or whatever. By and large we have had really good luck with craigslist over the years. On the flip side, we have met exactly one couple on a lifestyle site. It seems that because of the lack of anonymity (lifestyle sites always involve a profile), no one is willing to actually meet up. After all, what if it goes badly? Now you've severed more than one connection, and you could get a bad reputation. The only downside to craigslist is too many newbies; not that being new is bad, we were all new once, but there are lots of people who are just flirting with the idea of swinging or don't really know what they want. This is probably due to the ease of advertising on craigs - no need to make a permanent home for yourself. So what does everyone think? It's clear a lot of people like lifestyle sites, but it's also clear there are frustrations there.
  5. Surprised at how many other INTJs there are. Mrs. SIPs is an ESTJ, if I recall.
  6. We usually assume "no kissing" is a newbie thing, but there is one couple we know who are the swingiest of the swingers, and they don't kiss. One night we were comparing swinging to BDSM. The Mrs. said that while BDSM takes risks with bodies, swinging takes risks with emotions (which is what makes it exciting). I think that couple who won't kiss are often less willing to put it all on the line again and again, and thus often less fun to swing with.
  7. What about something we do with our clothes, instead of a specific object we wear? Like, a turned out pocket...left for straight, right for bi?
  8. I think "professional" is supposed to mean "has a license to do one's job" - commonly used in reference to doctors and lawyers. Mrs. SIPS is an RN and I am a teacher, so we are "professionals" too. Heck, I was a "professional" when I was a bike messenger - had a license and everything! Now it does indeed mean "white collar" - I get annoyed by "We're both professionals and so we need the utmost discretion." Everyone needs discretion and sitting at a desk all day does not make you need it more! I agree with all of the above, and as I've mentioned before, I get tired of the overuse of words like sensual, desire, erotic, decadent, fantasy..."Come indulge your most erotic fantasy of sensual desire."
  9. Good call about avoiding negativity! Someone want to check us out next?
  10. I was reading through this, and had a few thoughts. #1 - What about a symbol that only has meaning when both partners are together? Instead of each person wearing something that identifies them as a swinger, it would be something both parties wear/say/do that identifies them as a swinging couple. Isn't that what we're mostly after anyway? Not sure what it would be though. #2 - Most symbols emerge organically, rather than being designed. It's hard to convince people to use a certain symbol or symbol set; is there anything already happening that could be promoted? #3 - I do like the idea of the rings, especially interlocking ones around the middle finger. I had high hopes for some kind of jelly bracelet, but (thankfully) that trend is dying. But what about an action, gesture, catch phrase...these things are symbols too. The point is to communicate to others who may be observant that we are in the same club. Perhaps a hand signal? But it would be better if it were something passive, so we don't go waving at other couples hoping they "get it." What about a certain affect with clothing? Something unbuttoned, untucked, knotted, crossed, just a little bit off but not more than a shrug from passersby?
  11. Swinger Hell = Boston And I was RAISED here. We're going to hell for the time we went to the house of some new swinger friends and drank all their beer without fucking them
  12. Our issue is time; she works night weekends and I work m-f days. We are *finally* getting Friday nights together, but our babysitter and the swing parties are available Saturdays! Second, we've found the cliques to be a problem. Boston SUCKS for clubs, so you have to get involved in some private scene, which invariably becomes a clique, which invariably turns sour. *sigh*
  13. "Those jocks, all they think about is sports...us nerds, all we think about is sex!" From your movie mentioned above. I think I'm gonna make that our sig. We have 2 couples we play with regularly, all of whom are pretty geeky. One couple is very "pretty" but still geeks at heart, believe me. In our scene, there are always a few jock/cheerleader couples at the big parties, but they never come out more than once or twice, and they usually sit around and talk to each other without playing.
  14. Mrs. SIPS just told me this one - she was at work and a coworker (male) walked out, having changed and gotten dressed up as if to go out. She said "got a hot date?" He replied "nah, not really" and she said "well, if you can't get a hot date, how am I gonna get a hot date?" Another coworker said "what are you guys, swingers?" "um, no..." If they only knew...
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